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Shoot the Breeze: The Negazone


Well, my sexy, sexy people, how are we all doing this week? Bursting with vim and vigour and veal? Grand. Let's roll right along.

I have no idea what to write about this week. I want to do video games, I do, but I can't think of a thing. Just about the only digital dalliance with which I've occupied myself is Fable and the Last Crusade and I've got a bevy of thought monkeys going bananas there, but I need time to distance myself, and maybe a second playthrough to kill some of that time, so nope. Nope. What else we got?

Baby, if we're all just tiny cars on the Hotwheel tracks of fate, you're my Super Charger.

I'm playing around with the line above and of the many, many dorky salvos I've fired from my being, that may be my most beloved to date. There's a real potential to it. It's not perfect yet, it needs refinement, but at the heart of it, that mix of children's toys and undue idiocy, it plucks Diablo's waltz on the fiddle of my heartstrings. I tried it in front of a few friends; disdain. Undaunted, I will keep it as a front line soldier.

Terrible pickup lines are kind of a hobby of mine. This is who I am.

Speaking of which, math jokes. Have we ever done this, you and I? Gosh darn, I lurve a dumb joke about any one of the subjects I've studied and with a clique of engineers, replete with engineering humour, I am rich with them. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get a normal vector!

It's been about a year since I used calculus and I can't remember whether or not that joke is correct, but either way, it is gold.

But really, I'm going to die alone. And hilarious.

Alright, let's keep it going. I've been listening to some of the older Podtoids. It's like, okay, remember in Atlantis: The Lost Empire when they discovered the eponymous city and were struck by wonder and awe? Something like that. The sultry stew of Aaron Linde and Anthony Burch is pretty much the hot, childhood crush-inducing whitehaired chick to my nerdy Milo Thatch. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, The Electric Hydra is enjoyable and has certainly found its way into my podcast harem, but Podtoid is, in a very literal respect, a lost empire. But anyway.

I've trying to roll a new outfit into my wardrobe. Collared shirt, tie, and an honest-to-god vest. Not a hip, trendy vest, more like a 50's-era accountant's three piece suit's vest. So terrible. Love it. But the tie. Ties are cool, and not just the ones with bows. That's where this whole outrageous outfit began. One day you wake up and think to yourself, "I wish I was wearing a tie." And then, on a really good day, you are. I feel like I can do things wearing the ol' neck belt. I can be stylish and formal. I can bind it around my forehead to fashion a Rambo-esque headband. I can jury rig a belt, should an emergency warrant it. Possibilities abound.

What else? Twitter? Guh. Twitter. I did it. What is it I do now? I tweet? How droll. So, there's that. I hear it's a good way to keep tabs on guys and dolls and, fervent stalker to all parties Destructoid I am too quickly becoming, this appeals to me. So, lead. I will follow. I don't know exactly who to be hunting down and I am, truth told, selective, but maybe I can be a part of your entourage. Maybe. As of writing this, I thought I'd added nearly a score of folks, but at last check, it's a scant half a dozen. Maybe my eager poking on those coy plus signs disappeared into the ether, so more following I must do.

Oh, uh, @ErrantArdour because some lovely person stole my very name. I am a geyser of hate. Old Hateful they'll call me.

This is how we do it, right? We pimp?

Edit: Welp, changed my name. Blame Knut. _Beyamor

As is tradition, a shoutout. When DimmuJed first hauled his sorry self across our doorstep, I thought he was a terrible dick. Since I've got to know him a little better, I - well, haven't changed my opinion much. But now I, well, I'd miss him if he were anything else, y'know? He's stopped being a jerk and become, in my mind, one of us who is also kind of a jerk. He's a real sweetie. Just saying. And doing a real lousy job of it. Hm. I should go back and edit this paragraph so it's less acidic, but it came from the heart, so it stays. I like the guy. That's all.

Ah. Last bit of news, I think. With a bit of chicanery, I've got a wireless connection in the old homestead. A wince over a hundred dollars later, this is to the benefit of my Xbox Live account. So, I might be online again. Hurrah and hurray. I don't feel much drive to take advantage of it, but I feel complete knowing it's there. Watch out. Beyamor might be playing games again.

And holy cow, real last point, the Tag your post! and Post in a group bars at the bottom of the blog make me think I'm seeing double. I've actually got a headache. Wow. I need to, uh, something.

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About Beyamorone of us since 1:10 PM on 06.24.2009

I知 a gamer. Take a minute and get over that shock. I can say I知 an Xbox man, though I値l support anything that advances gaming (I love you Sackboy). I致e also got a DS Chunky, so I can take this whole nerd thing on the road.

As far as genres, shooters and western RPGs top my list. Halo, Fable, and Morrowind, for instance, rock my socks hard. Of course other things, stuff like Animal Crossing and Kingdom Hearts, do their share of stocking rocking.

In the world outside of buttons and pixels, I知 an engineering student (that nerd thing I mentioned? I do it hardcore) on the west coast of the Great White North. I知 a fan of a harder rock, bands like Breaking Benjamin and Hurt, though I値l kick it (very much figuratively) to stuff ranging from The Fray through Franz Ferdinand to Five Finger Death Punch. Optimus Prime is my hero, but I do love Starscream. Finally, thumbs up to you for reading this. You池e never getting that time back.

Kirbey by the talented and generously endowed (probably) Enkido