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Comments of the Week: Long and Short Edition

Welcome welcome faithful listeners, once again, to Commentoid for the week of... er, sometime around Black Friday to sometime after Black Friday. I'm Knutaf, and I'll be trying to entertain you for the next few minutes. I dunno, I feel like I took two weeks to do a week's worth of Commentoid. CaptainBus even needed to send me a flame mail over PM. I tell you what, this always takes way more time than I realize. It's my third time through; you think I'd figure it out by now.

Other things I might rather be doing, truth be told (in this order): playing The World Ends With You; writing a blog post about The World Ends With You; or writing up a post for this month's Monthy Musing. Yeah, yeah, I know. I could always drop out. But I like to provide a service here, even if the quality of it is pretty awful.

Enough, enough. Let's get started. I selected a lot of comments this time. As such, some of them may not be accompanied by much explanation. I hope they are sufficiently funny or baffling in their own right.

As a final note, I'd like to point out that, once again in the spirit of innovation, I've incorporated a new piece of technology into Commentoid this week: when you click a link to go to the post the comment originated from, the link will take you straight to the comment (not the top of the page)! For the betterment of comment-kind. Unfortunately this only works for comments on cblogs, sorry.

Range of posts analyzed!
Cblogs: start to finish!
Front page: start to finish!

From: C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 10: Diversion

Thank you, Fame Designer, for giving us something we have way more faith in than a lengthy show that just led us on, then copped out.

From: The most incomprehensive review on Dtoid (EVE)

I love Byronic Man's comments, in general. I saw at least one or two more that were Commentoid-worty, but I didn't want to flood the place with them. One downside is that sometimes his comments are a little tricky to understand. Today I've taken the liberty of also providing a translation. Byronic Man, I hope you don't mind this liberty.

From: Introduction to my quick reviews.

This is the "public service announcement" portion of Commentoid. This is all great advice. All newbies, please take heed.

From: Our Obsession with Graphics (second attempt)

All truth here. I could answer "it depends" to almost any question and feel satisfied. Now, the person asking the question might not be...

From: Tim Schafer wants to make games for Nintendo consoles

In this meta-comment, Kraid is rightfully alluding to the stinking cesspool of comments adjoining this post. I dare you to read them, but please, please don't feed the troll; it's already had its fill so many times over.

From: Realistic Street Fighter 4 art is creepy and awesome

Jonathan Holmes even followed, saying that he is bequeathing his role at Destructoid to Richard Blaine based on the truth of this comment.

From: Patents point to PSP2 touch-screen controls

Joysticks were technically analog sticks, but I can't help but feel that the N64 popularized it in a handheld form first. On the software front, someone claimed that Mario 64 was perhaps the first 3-D platformer created. I haven't seen that disputed yet. Go Nintendo for coming up with new stuff.

From: 900,000 DS units, 600,000 Wiis sold on Black Friday

As a convenience to you, the readers, I've added my own emphasis to the portions of this comment that I feel are pure truth. The rest is pretty reasonable too, for the most part.

From: Survey: Kids want an iPad more than a DS

Kids may be dumb, but as Jim points out, sometimes parents are dumber. Sometimes parents are dumb for even having kids (dumb or otherwise).

From: G4 gets exclusive multi-year coverage deal with E3

This space intentionally (and lazily) left blank.

From: Games for boys

There is both truth and lol in this one, but I laughed, so I ended up putting it here.

From: Casting Call: Chester the Skeleton

Let it be known that I find all kinds of awful puns to be quite humerus. The proof is right here.

From: 7 Trends I'd Give A High Five

Thanks to Roager for pointing out this really obvious one.

From: Dear Corduroy Turtle

This one was so great that in including it here, I've violated multiple separate internal "rules" of mine:

- Avoid including comments from my friends. If I did this, Occams, Corduroy, and Dixon would just dominate Commentoid. Sorry, guys, but they're pretty funny, and they comment on a lot of stuff.
- Avoid vulgar humor. I know, I know. This is the internet, which is built on a foundation of vulgar humor, but I prefer to think that there's a lot of really good non-vulgar humor that deserves to be recognized and an overabundance of the former.

From: A fan sucked up a guy !! but he's alive :P

Bonus points for the subtle inclusion of broken dronebot speak.

From: Play Epic Mickey in style with signature caps

Another vulgar one! But it completely blindsided me and made me laugh.

From: Inafune launches a blog, wants to make new games

This one made me both laugh and go back to see what is really written on his shirt. I can't really tell!

From: Gamedesign through gamer's eyes: Killin' me softly

Holy crap, dude, you've got me. I can't think of a single counterpoint. There are no games at all that are fun despite having basically no consequence for death. And definitely none associated with this rad art.

From: C Blogs of 12/2/10 + Strykisms

This meta-irony needs no meta-comment.

From: Netflix's multiple user interfaces explained

This wins the non sequitur award of this Commentoid edition.

From: Review: Dead Nation

So... go away?

From: Nintendo DLC: Cave Story, Magical Drop II, Frenzic

I'm playing Cave Story right now. Sub-par is not an adjective that applies here, not to any aspect of the game. Except maybe that it's not on the 360 as well... ooh, was that too fanboyish of me?

From: Epic Games making a Gears of War announcement at the VGAs

Gears polished cover based shooting until it shone blindingly. I think it was one of the first to polish that genre so well. Is he really trying to dispute that?

From: Electronic Arts unlikely to acquire Harmonix

If you think for a minute Microsoft is going to sell games they're in charge of on platforms other than the 360, you really haven't paid enough attention to them in the last several years.

From: Rumor: Uncharted 3 takes Nathan Drake to the desert

You can tell a lot about me by my inclusion of this.

From: Wii Speak demand is 'limited'

Ok yeah, I'm pretty sure you just made that up. Let's check.


Well, thanks for joining me in this late edition. Until next time!

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About Commentoidone of us since 10:52 AM on 07.30.2010

Welcome to Commentoid, home of Comments of the Week!

Commentoid is where we take the full range of comments; the ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and compounds them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community.

We do take requests from time to time but be forewarned that messages about insightful commentary, brilliant wit or heartbreaking failure are much more likely to get checked if you send them to the correctly listed officiator for that week.

The combined group of commentive officiators (That lay down the weekly sermon of commentacular commentitude within a relay system of commentatoratiativenessisation!):

5. Sean Daisy the wise!

1. Xero the brave!

2. Knutaf the strong!

3. Xzyliac the courageous!

4. LawofThermalDynamics the daring!

6. Handy the valiant!

Back ups:

VGFreak the backupest of the backups!

We try to go live Wednesday - Friday just to leave some room in everyone's schedules and make sure that there's enough time to post. If a post doesn't go up on Wednesday then don't worry as we're probably not dead.