Warning: This blog features pictures of a very homely person. I apologize, avert your eyes and there may still be a place for you in Heaven. In Heaven, everything's fine. You've got your good things and I've got mine.
To really appreciate the good that Corduroy Turtle
has done, certain things have been re-inacted for your benefit. Our story begins on a night like any other night our fellow group of people who play together somewhat regularly were talking. I believe it was quite a while ago since I think we were doing one of those nifty "get to wave 50 on Horde mode" dealies on Gears Of War 2 when a conversation was struck up by Corduroy Turtle and myself.
Me "You know, I really would like to play the first Gears Of War. I just wish it wasn't 20 whole dollars" Corduroy "Silly Chap, here in America, we are having a sale. Right now the first Gears Of War is only 5 dollars" Me " I certainly wish such a sale was happening in Canada. If only there were a way" Corduroy "Poppycock, I shall send you a copy of the first Gears free of charge. It is a game all Xbox owners should have in their gaming library. It is one of the greatest games in existence, and those whosewhutsis' on that other gamebox thingy are missing out painfully. I have after all been a fan of CliffordB since I was a child" Me "That would be great, then I could finally pay off those lawyers fees after my arrest in that drug smuggling ring that totally only saw me go to court but not jail and afforded me a reason to play games occasionally. Luckily thanks to you I have exactly the right amount now to pay off my debt" Corduroy "Chortle!"
So it was many days later that something or other popped up at my doorstep. Being that I'm a former cocaine dealer I could tell instantly it wasn't packed with anything harmful.
Curious about who the hell Eric Awesome-O-Powa was, I opened it gun drawn, ready for the inevitable black widow or springboard knife contraption because lord knows have I received plenty of those in the past. So off came the wrapping and I noticed that in the post I'd received a box! HOORAY I NEVER RECEIVE BOXES!
However that guy was serious. He had sent me a copy of Gears Of War like he said. What a guy! He even went on to send me a second mic for my Xbox because he did not believe my brother existed and that it was all apart of some elaborate scheme to gain his confidence and come to [Address & City Censored For Protection] to re-inact Fatal Attraction.
Sadly, Marcus does exist. In the brief time that we've all played together he would rather not talk. I kinda warned you guys, since we've had a Bluetooth Wireless Headset for the PS3 for ages and he never used it. Besides, he'll talk to Occams when there aren't lots of people around or he has the floor to speak. We're kinda shy like that.
And if this was a bong, I'd be performing an illegal act here. That or I'm doing my best bag pipe player impression. You decide. Many Many Months Later
There was a contest that Corduroy Turtle threw
a while back to make him laugh. He was getting rid of some of his original Xbox games in said contest. Being that The Predator from the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger film
is to me like a Shark is to Hamza
and noticing amongst the pile was two games featuring a Predator character I knew I had to get atleast one of them. Not being stupid I went for the least alluring game out of the two in Predator: Concrete Jungle
with this impressive entry at the 11th Hour.
After two pathetic attempts prior Corduroy said I had won
. The little girl inside me squealed, to which I told her to "keep her mouth shut and stop pulling on those chains". She complied but I could still tell she was super excited for this game. Then today out of the complete blue I received another package.
Had my childhood dreams of playing as a Predator in a game that wasn't based around horribly unbalanced multiplayer come true? Find out.....right now!
Oh Corduroy, when you gonna grow up dog? BALLS. TEE HEE.
Clearly the wrong game had been sent out. There was no way Corduroy could know that much about......oh wait, that's a silly little slip that he put there as a joke. Hehe cuz the Predator has a real world negative connetation. Oh my stars. Sadly someone had previously made that mistake since I'm totally not into that but once the slip was removed Predator: Concrete Jungle
was revealed in all it's glory.
And with that in all seriousness, I'd like to thank Eric for sending these out to me. This was something he didn't have to do but did out of the kindness of his heart. What a friend! I thank you good sir for these things and shall repay you in kind soon.
THANKS A BUNCH FOR READING!
LOOK WHO CAME: