So here's what I want to get at. Film has become an amazing medium to me. Movies have been able to move me and connect with me in the deepest, most abstract levels. Particular movies could feel incredibly personal
to me: the sharp mood of The Tracey Fragments
and the desperation of Tracey Berkowitz; the impeccable comedic timing of director Edgar Wright in Hot Fuzz
; the somber reaction of J.J. Gittes in the end of Chinatown
. My favorite works are works that, for different reasons, feel so personal, so intricate. So reaching and in such potentially abstract forms. So in a way, these movies can carry parts of me. They can carry thoughts that they have given me or ones that were in me but I had never been clear about. They have parts of me, so I can feel represented in them. And this is what ultimately makes me realize how fragile we are in terms of individuality; individuality is undeniably the reason we can be social in the first place. It's why we can love and why we can hate. And it's also why we can feel terribly alone. Because when I watch a movie that I feel strongly about and, with joy and hopefulness, recommend them to others, especially to the people I'm closest and have the most in common with, I also tremble in fear that they will not like it, that they will not see in it what I
see. I fear that that intrinsic part of me will remain deep inside, unrecognized. It's another form of the fear of being alone, "powered" by film.
That speaks to me about how powerful this medium is.
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