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You Think You Know How To Troll!?! Stop Fooling Yourself!

[Non-Disclaimer: This blog represents the views and opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he hopes to be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, this is for serious. Also, cocks. (He also recognizes the counterpoint a phrase like "Also, cocks" forms when placed behind a statement of serious intent)]

You think you are clever. You think you will come in here from out of no where, stir up emotions and be remembered for your actions. You think you are witty, that you will post your article and get a multitude of hits, and that somehow that will make you better, that you will be acknowledged for it, that it will give your actions meaning. You call yourself a troll. You could also be no farther from the truth.

You are not clever. You will be of much noise and little fury, and then you will be forgotten. Your account will be deleted, your IP will be blocked. You will have no legacy as you so foolishly hope to have. Your name may be uttered, shortly after, in the occasional spit, but it will not be favorably. It will not garner very much attention, and eventually you will be completely removed from our minds. Not only that but you will have lost the privilege of being a part of one of the best communities I have ever seen, let alone be a part of. You will also have missed out on the chance to see how real trolling is done, and done right(not necessarily and example of trolling done right).

Some of you may not know, but you walk among trolls of the highest caliber, without even the slightest bit of suspicion. These are God-tier trolls that you and I will never have a true appreciation for until their plans actually come to pass. You, dear readers will be shocked to know that these people, Gods among trolls, are your very editors(had too), contributors, and c-blog(again, had too), forum(done now), and IRC regulars.

These people are well respected members of our very own community. With every post their plans are bolstered that much more, their eventual ruin that much more devious and destructive. You ask how can those who are well respected in the community, who continually contribute quality content for our enjoyment be trolls? This is simple, they are building a legacy as well as relationships. Yet all good things must come to an end, and what happens when one of these respected members leaves or are otherwise removed from the community?

The loss sends waves through the community. Even if it is by a small number of people the loss will be felt. Not only that but their memory will carry on(too fitting to not link). They, unlike you, will be remembered. They will be remembered in the sidebars of those that they formed friendships with, in dedicated threads in the forums, in the conversations of the people that carry on their legacy. Such power, despite the most noble intent of use, can also lead to unintended consequences, as someone long removed makes a reappearance, only to drift back into obscurity. Those that are new will join and perhaps make names for themselves as well, but those who have left will be remembered by those who remain, and the new group will know that they have missed out on something that they are likely never to experience. I already know that there are people that have been integral to the formation of this site, and this community that I am not afraid to admit I love so much, that I will likely never meet. Similarly, I am not afraid to admit that there are people that are part of this community that I would genuinely miss were they to leave.

Do you see now. You are not a troll, you are merely a minor annoyance, an insignificant grain of sand to be swept aside and forgotten in the shadow of those giants who are true masters of the art, trampled underfoot by their deft skill. Do not seek to appease your illusions of grandeur. STFU and GTFO, you are not welcome and your presence will be short lived. When your account is gone and you have all of the comments you will ever have and all of the thread posts that you so ignorantly believe will never be matched, know that their count is still climbing, slowly but unhaltingly. That they will have more of an impact than you ever will.

I implore you friends, by all means adopt a troll, but also be sure to befriend one(even coarse, female ones), and add to their legacy and their plans. While the only conceivable end may be their loss, they are well worth knowing and the formulation of their plans are a grand endeavor. As a call to all those who are lurking, stand up, become a part of the community, write a blog, make a thread, share something, don't get discouraged, create your own legacy.

This brings us to the end of our little conversation and the beginning of a new conundrum. As a further testament to this community, it is now five in the morning and this outpouring was over several hours in the darkest hours before sunrise in the making, as it refused to relinquish me from insomnia until given proper form. As such, I am having trouble tagging it. Is it a rant or a community related blog. I believe that I will call it a rant, as this was it's origin, but I wish you to know that I feel it is more the result of and directed toward our community. I love you all.
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About Enkidoone of us since 3:32 PM on 12.30.2009

But doctor, I am Pagliachi.

I'm 22 years old and studying Rock Climbing, while occasionally working toward a degree in economics. Probably the best way for me to describe my personality is like this.

(living the dream and letting it be)

I got into video games at around 9 years old when I got my first system, a Gameboy pocket...

Moving on.

Systems that I currently own:
PS3(full backwards compatible, 500Gigs)PSN->Enkido-dono
Gameboy Advance SP
Gameboy Pocket(yes, I still have it and it works)

Things I like (other than video games):
Music, a lot
Learning Guitar
Rock Climbing

My Destructoid interview by LawofThermoDynamics who did a fine job of making my sorry ass presentable. (Psst, he has more in his interview index)

Front Pageness:
irock Review, based off of this by Beyamor(becasue I'm not witty enough to get Frontpage on my own yet)

Awesome Stuff:

The Decoder Ring, gifted to me by Occams Electric Toothbrush, with the blessings of the Shadow Council. Lurkers, behold and despair.

I present Enkirby, lovechild of Beyamor and boredom, though rumors of a scandal with awesomeness abound.

My next gaming system, custom made by Renegade Panda.

Law and I, bringing the heat.

A Space Marinenkido, again by Beyamor, who won't let me forget how much cooler he is than me.
Xbox LIVE:Taimant
PSN ID:Enkido-dono
Steam ID:allmightydono
Mii code:It's been way too long


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