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Ode To The Automatic Shotgun


Hell yes!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to commemorate one of the most amazing and deadly weapons found in the modern shooter: the automatic shotgun. Often overlooked and unfortunately replaced by longer-range weapons (read: LeetSnipers), these weapons are the true man's guns. Whether it be the Modern Warfare 2's AA12, Bad Company 2's USAS-15, or Borderlands' many "Sweeper Shotguns", these guns are all around you. Here is why YOU should be the badass motherf*cker using these deadly pieces of machinery:

1) It takes just enough skill to not be considered cheap

Follow the Vladov rule: you don't need to be a better shot, you just need to shoot more bullets! Precisely. You can run into a room and clear it of several enemies in seconds flat with an auto-shotty. After you're done annihilating the enemy team, one whiner can call shenanigans, claiming auto-shotties are "cheap". The great thing with auto-shotties is that you can have two points to rebute his statement: A) Auto-shotties have low ammo and B) Auto-shotties have poor range (but that's no problem for YOU!). Now the whiner's argument has been nullified and you can proceed with killing him a multitude of times.

2) It's hilarious to kill snipers with an auto-shotty

Did some asshole sniper just put a bullet in your noggin from across the map? Does the bastard deserve payback? Hell yes he does. And there's no better way to do so than putting 350 12-gauge rounds in him per minute. But to do so takes some skill. You gotta be sneaky, you gotta be stealthy. You gotta get in close. Even though it may be difficult, the end result is extremely satisfying.

3) You feel like a badass (it's because you are)

You are holding 7.3 kg of hot, automatic death in your hand. Screw those wussies with their pump-action Spas-12's or their SEMI-auto Strikers. No, your gun shoots fully auto. And that makes you about 200x scarier, and about 9001x more badass. So they can shoot you once, that's cool. In the same time it takes for them to pump, you can shoot them 4 times already. That's possibly the best thing ever and you know it.

4) They mount them on unmanned tanks

Hell yeah they do.
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About TheDRMasterone of us since 8:37 PM on 04.19.2009

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