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LONG BLOG

Something About Sex: Only Manly Men Have It

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"DOM! DOM! DOM! DOM!" It doesn't matter that his name is Dominic, Marcus is badass enough to say it. And he does say it, about 37 times a game. This is just the beginning of Marcus' assertiveness, as he has been able to 'slip' himself into just about any situation, using his 'gun' to 'weasel' his way out of 'things', and into 'things' as the case may be. Now that the joke is successfully killed, let us move on. Marcus is another interesting pick, while he is the very epitome of manliness in video games, he lacks a strong female 'partner', if you catch my drift. Yeah, that's right. You wonder why the brothers Carmine keep getting themselves 'killed'. There's no way 'out' once Marcus gets his 'grip' on you. Damnit, I said I would stop. When he's not taking a ride on the 'Cole Train', Marcus is either killing aliens, or doing 'group-bonding' activities with his squad. Why else would they be so emotionally 'attached'? It seems that Dom is the only one able to escape his 'grasp', but you should have seen the glint in Marcus' eye when Dom had to put his wife down. Buttsex-1 Women-0.

NERDY UNMANLY STATS: Avg. sexness per day: 6 'innuendos'
failed attempts at getting with women: he never attempted
successful attempts at getting with 'women': it hurts just thinking about it.



If these are the kind of people getting laid, where does that leave the rest of us?
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About Brandon Kellyone of us since 8:28 AM on 10.30.2009

I am Brandon Kelly, big surprise there. I like gaming and consider myself a gaming enthusiast. Again, big surprise right? Also I happen to be a teenager, and thus am looked down upon by society. "The internet is bad!" adults say, "GAMES KILL!" adults say,"playing videogames will get you nowhere sonny!" adults say, "9/11 wouldn't have happened if planes were controlled via mouse and keyboard!" adults s- well that one doesn't count. I primarily play games on PC, but begrudgingly switch to the 360 from time to time because everyone has one, and I also play the DS, which is better than the lousy excuse for a handheld gaming system called the PSP in every shape and form. I also own a Wii, but who actually plays and enjoys the Wii anymore? That s**t wore off two weeks after Christmas. This is my blog, and my compiled thoughts on games, the game industry, and society as a whole.

Games I Love (no particular order)
The Beatles Rock Band
Team Fortress 2
Company of Heroes
Saint's Row II
Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
Indigo Prophecy
Animal Crossing Wild World
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Battlefield 2
Rock Band 2
Elite Beat Agents
Fallout 3
Delta Force: Blackhawk Down
Halo 1 PC
Luigi's Mansion
Kirby Air Ride
GTA IV
Sid Meier's Simgolf
Zombie Panic Source
Deadly Premonition

Games Currently Playing
Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War 2
Dragon Age Origins
STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl
Battlefield: Bad Company 2
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Red Faction: Guerilla
The Sims 3
Sins of a Solar Empire
Saints Row II
Deadly Premonition
Civilization IV


Games I Hate
Call of Duty 1-16
Band Hero
Guitar Hero 1-25
Assassin's Creed 1
Wii Music
Spore
Band Hero
Red Steel

I have a Raging Game boner for
Dragon Age Origins: Awakening
Battlefield 3
Dawn of War 2: Chaos Rising
Beatles Rock Band full albums
Halo Reach
Metro 2033

Follow me on Twitter

Xbox LIVE:RAD5brandon
PSN ID:rad5brandon
Steam ID:rad5brandon
BattleNET:rad5brandon


 

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