"DOM! DOM! DOM! DOM!" It doesn't matter that his name is Dominic, Marcus is badass enough to say it. And he does say it, about 37 times a game. This is just the beginning of Marcus' assertiveness, as he has been able to 'slip' himself into just about any situation, using his 'gun' to 'weasel' his way out of 'things', and into 'things' as the case may be. Now that the joke is successfully killed, let us move on. Marcus is another interesting pick, while he is the very epitome of manliness in video games, he lacks a strong female 'partner', if you catch my drift. Yeah, that's right. You wonder why the brothers Carmine keep getting themselves 'killed'. There's no way 'out' once Marcus gets his 'grip' on you. Damnit, I said I would stop. When he's not taking a ride on the 'Cole Train', Marcus is either killing aliens, or doing 'group-bonding' activities with his squad. Why else would they be so emotionally 'attached'? It seems that Dom is the only one able to escape his 'grasp', but you should have seen the glint in Marcus' eye when Dom had to put his wife down. Buttsex-1 Women-0.
NERDY UNMANLY STATS: Avg. sexness per day: 6 'innuendos'
failed attempts at getting with women: he never attempted
successful attempts at getting with 'women': it hurts just thinking about it.
If these are the kind of people getting laid, where does that leave the rest of us?
LOOK WHO CAME: