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My Expertise: "I Win"

I�m going to be brutally honest for a moment here. Are you ready Dtoid? Here goes.

I�m pretty terrible at competitive games.

Yes I�ll win in contests of skill against most non-gamers but since I rarely play videogames with people unaccustomed to them, I tend to be matched up against my friends � very dedicated gamers. However this is where my expertise kicks in � winning.

�How can that be TripleZer0? You just said you weren�t very good. What gives?�

No my previous statements were not a paradox. I suck but I win. I�ll use Super Smash Bros Brawl to illustrate my point. While my friends love playing with the �good� characters, spending most of their time edge guarding, chain-grabbing, spiking, etc., I play characters I find �fun� instead � even though I won�t win the match. Despite not coming in first I still get to claim that I win because I create an alternate set of rules that only applies to me.

Example: I choose Captain Falcon because he�s one of my favorites and rather than worrying about getting kills, I count the number of times I successfully pull off a FALCONNN PAWWNNCH! If I am able to connect with one of those I instantly announce to the newly named losers playing with me that I won.

Before this became commonplace, I got a storm of protests along the lines of �How? You just lost three lives in under thirty seconds. You got last place.� They scoff at me, laughing at my ineptitude.

�Doesn�t matter. I Falcon Punched you. I win.�

Now the important thing to realize is that these rules only apply to me.

Kind of like the kid in "Big Daddy" playing poker

Once this became my thing � creating absurd rules and claiming satisfaction and victory if I achieve them � my friends began to try and copy me. My response is always the same, �Doesn�t matter. Only works for me.�

I change up my rules according to the character I�m playing � i.e. Ganon Punching people with Gannondorf, cape-ing people incessantly with Mario, etc. These rules even follow me to other games. When playing Halo 3 online with my friends I announce my triumph even if I get just one measly kill.

�Not trolled! I win.�
*beer pong reference*

I realize that these rules seem annoying and downright asshole-ish, but the important thing to remember is that this is all in good fun. I don�t lord my innumerable victories over my friends. I don�t constantly yell out �I win!� We just look at the number of kills at the end of the round, my score well below theirs. We all know who the real winner of the match was.

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About TriplZer0one of us since 3:08 AM on 03.18.2009

About Me

Age: 24
My Website
My Twitter
My Backloggery
Location: San Diego, CA

Hey Dtoid, I'm TriplZer0.

I'm a science fiction, fantasy, and speculative fiction writer by trade, but aside from writing, video games are my biggest passion. I also write over at Gamer Limit.

The first console my brothers and I ever got was an SNES for Christmas one year. Since then, we've owned an N64, Playstation, PS2, and an Xbox 360. I got a Gameboy Color one year for Christmas, but my brothers are more into handheld gaming than me. Every time they upgrade to the latest system I get their hand-me-downs. That's how I obtained my GBA and my two DS's. Handheld gaming for some reason doesn't interest me even though I know there are great games out there. The first console I've ever been the exclusive owner of is my PS3. The first games I ever played were Super Mario World, F-Zero, 7th Saga (which I've written about), and Out of This World.

My favorite genres are RPGs (Western or Japanese), FPS, action/adventure, and RTS (even though I suck at them).

My Promoted Articles
The Forgotten: The 7th Saga - My First Foray Into RPGs
The Five Stages of Backlog Grief
Dread Space: Why Space Sims Scare Me More than Zombies

The daily hotness featuring my first novel
Communitoid Episode 008 - Mxy liked my book!

Xbox LIVE:Triplzer0
PSN ID:Triplzer0
Steam ID:Triplzer0


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