Is Gitaroo Man
the greatest game or the best game of the last decade?
I remember being in my early teens and watching Tech TV. I was watching X-Play, which was pretty much
where I got most of my video game news at that time. One day, I saw this review of a colorful game and I thought to myself, "Huh? What the crazies is this?" It got a 4 out of 5 so I thought maybe I should buy this.
It ended up being the most satisfying game purchase in my life.
This game is Gitaroo Man
And I'm gonna tell you why this was obviously the best game of all times
*SPOILERS AHEAD* The characters
First of all, look at that box art! How can you not want to buy and play this game?!
It stars a character U-1. Now U-1 is obviously better than U2 because of he has 1 in his name and
1 comes before 2. Therefore, U-1 is better than U2.
So U-1 is pretty much a loser. He has an unrequited love interest and a bully who is
his love interest.
Well... you can basically tell that they are banging.
Anyways... U-1 has a dog named Puma... PUMA! I mean c'mon. This is obviously already better than your typical space marine story. So Puma tells (he's a talking dog!) U-1 that he is the last legendary hero of Planet Gitaroo and the owner of the last Gitaroo. He must get and use the power of the eight Gitaroo instruments in order to save Planet Gitaroo from the evil Gravillian Family!
Did I mention that U-1 looks like that guy from Panic At the Fall Out Boy Disco!?
He obviously rip off his look from U-1.
Also, it has the most wonderful boss character designs of all-time!
A devil in diapers? A UFO? A BLACK ELVIS GUY IN A BEE SUIT!?
Well... IT HAS MANY PEOPLE IN ANIMAL SUITS... A FURRY'S DREAM GAME!
Credits the video to Quadraxis14 Gitaroo Man
's gameplay is obviously the best rhythm gameplay of ever!
You use the left analog to control U-1 arms on his guitar... well it also moves his head. So left analog to traces the Trace line. On the Trace line, there's phase lines where you press any of the face buttons at the beginning of the line and let go at the end. This controls the sounds of his Gitaroo. So if you do poorly in the game, the music will sound horrible. Eventually, you get a sweet lady mocking your failure... "YOU LOSE!"
Basically, each level is a guitar battle. It's blatantly better than the guitar battles in the Guitar Hero
series. The guitar battle is made of a Charge, Battle, and Final Phase. Charge phase is where you store your energy/health bar. Battle is where you attack your opponent and defend against attacks with the face buttons of the controller. The Final Phase is where you finish the opponent off.
The gameplay is difficult to master, but it is addicting as crack! Not to mention there's multiplayer! Four people can rock out. It even says in the back of the package, "Musical deathmatches and Harmonizing Co-op play for up to 4-players!" I have to mention that...
No plastic instruments! Gitaroo Man
says FUCK PLASTIC!
All you need is a controller and you're ready to rock out! A multitap is needed if you want to rock with more people!
First of all, the soundtrack is amazing. It goes from J-Pop, Rock, Techno, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Reggae, Slow Jams, Spanish sounding music, Hard Rock, Metal and then J-Rock. I mean how can not like any music from this game? You must be 2310931 years old if you hate the music in this game.
The music goes great along with...
The Set Pieces
Gitaroo Man obviously have better set pieces than Destructoid's 2009 GOTY, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
. *PLOT SPOILERS FOR GITAROO MAN!*
First, you face a demon in diapers riding a train. Then, you fight off a UFO invasion in the city! Next, YOU FIGHT A GUY IN A BEESUIT NEAR A POND AND SOME TREES!
Then, you have a high speed chase in space with a ROBOT SHARK. After that, a low speed chase on a WHOLE PLANET against Robot Shark Mech while you are in another mech! You then land on Planet Gitaroo where you serenade a babe that looks like the same girl U-1 wants to bang. Suddenly, U-1 and Puma get captured. U-1 defends and saves a prison town from skeletons. He then faces a screaming guy in mansion. After all that action, he faces that same lookalike girl in a guitar battle. Lastly, in the most memorable boss battle ever, he fights his rival in space, both are IN ANGEL AND DEMON FORM!
Well, words can't really describe how great the game's story/gameplay sequences without experiencing it yourself.
It isn't a sell-out
Unlike the other rhythm games, Gitaroo Man
isn't a whole. Sure, there's Gitaroo Man Lives!
But, everyone knows the PSP is less popular than the DS. Therefore, PSP is more indie rock hipster than the DS. Hence, why Gitaroo Man
supports the PSP!
As stupendous as Mister Mosquito!
Everyone agreed that Mister Mosquito
is the best game of this century. Since Gitaroo Man
is better than Mister Mosquito
, Gitaroo Man
must be the best game of last decade. DUH!
Better than Yanya Caballista: City Skater
Better than Koei's other "masterpice" Yanya Caballista
which in itself is better than Tony Hawk: RIDE
is also better than Mad Maestro
Survived the PS2 massacre of '04
Here's a personal experience of why Gitaroo Man
is God's game of choice. Shortly, after I bought MGS3. My PS2 became a machine that basically ate its games for dinner. The only game that surivived? Gitaroo Man
! It's KOEI game
The U.S. Government voted KOEI as the best publisher/developer of everything of all-times!
And everyone knows if Assassin's Creed 2
was developed and published by KOEI, Jim Sterling would have gave it an 11 out of 10... because KOEI got rid of the story early in the game and replaced it with Dynasty Warriors
Why are you reading this? You should be playing this. Oh wait! It still kinda hard to find a copy of this game? Really? Really? This is one of the most overlook hidden gems of last decade. Gitaroo Man
isn't as popular as ICO
, Vagrant Story
, etc. But once you play this game, you'll love it!
LOOK WHO CAME: