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LONG BLOG

RANTy McRANTerson_ featuring the craplike game Haze (PS3)

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So.... I bought a used copy of Haze for PS3 on Black Friday for 8 dollars. I knew it was going to bad, but I thought reviewers were just punishing the game for the hype with their very low reviews. Free Radical, the developers, have made some of my favorite First Person Shooters ever (Timesplitters Series), so I felt like I had to feed my curiosity and see if it was true that such awesome developers could really make something so many people hate with a deep passion.

Well I played this game 5 or 6 hours and I could not stand any more of it. After coming to the realization that spending any more time with this game would make me vomit and crap myself uncontrolably, resulting in a very unpleasant and smelly death, I talked to this crazy guy on msn (nosferatu1922) who I frequently talk with about my gaming adventures. I had mainly got this game so we could play it's online co- op mode.

I was going to make a big huge rant just for my blog, but after making this spontaneous one in msn I was too drained and discombobulated to write another.

I also should note I woke up at 5 am this morning and had 4 hours sleep before that. Sleep deprivation always leads to my most scholarly and G-rated blogs doesn't it?...

***Some Spoilers about the TURDgame Haze are in this rant, so you have been warned.***

Also, since I am sleep deprived in this, very angry at wasting 5 or 6 HAZEY POOPNUGGETY hours of my life playing this... I say a lot of random and potentionally offensive crap. So you have been warned about that too lol.

Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:36 PM):
*wow haze...
*the single player is terrible

*ive played a few more hours
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:37 PM):
* fucking boring as hell
*there was like 20 mins of the game when it was interesting when u switch sides, but thats it
*im near the end I think
*moving a fucking retard missle
*i hope im almost done
*i wont be able to play this shit online co op
*its terrible
nosferatu1922 says (11:38 PM):
*WRONG!
*we shall make it interesting
*with backstabbing goodness
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:38 PM):
*its fucking as bad or worse than army of 2...
*free radical....
*where u on crack
*?
nosferatu1922 says (11:38 PM):
*bull shit
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:38 PM):
*its bad man
*really bad
*i wanted to like it
nosferatu1922 says (11:39 PM):
*ARMY OF 2 IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST GAME EVAR!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (11:39 PM):
*its fucking repetitive, and the gunplay is just boring
*ugh free radical has betrayed me
*this game
*imagine if I paid 60 for it haha
*I would commit a mass murder

nosferatu1922 says (11:40 PM):
*we need to at least try it
*also i dont think your even close to the end
nosferatu1922 says (11:41 PM):
*if your moving the missle...
nosferatu1922 says (11:42 PM):
*i think your about 1/2 way
nosferatu1922 says (11:49 PM):
*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIiK-fVypTo&fmt=5
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*im halfway....
*dear zombie jesus
*i give up
* fuck this game
*it shall be sold back
nosferatu1922 says (12:29 AM):
*would you like one of these ---->
*rkewmxn (Was a Smiley Animation. He blew his little smiley brains out. Shame I cannot present it for you here.)
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*yeas that is what i mean
nosferatu1922 is sending a sound*.
Action: Play "Come On!". Show in Panel: Show
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:29 AM):
*i hate this more than army of 2 i think
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*no way in hell am i playing the co op
* fuck this game
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*we need to at least try and play haze in coop
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
* fuck it
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*WE NEED TO TRY!!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*its terrible
*noooooooo
*I refuse sir
*its too bad
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*WE SAW ARMY OF 2 TO THE FINISH LETS TAKE THE MASTERS CHALLENGE!!!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:30 AM):
*I would rather put a pineapple up my ass then play any more of this game
nosferatu1922 says (12:30 AM):
*you aint no hitler >.>
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*but man
*this is soo bad
nosferatu1922says (12:31 AM):
*whats so bad about it
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*I thought people were exagerating
*its so fucking shitty
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*its a reletively average shooter
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*boring ass repetive combat
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*pretend your playing it on the ps2
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
*long pointless walks to artificially lengthen the game
*no sprint
*so you walk even slower
nosferatu1922 says (12:31 AM):
*then it BECOMES AMMAZING
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:31 AM):
* fucking 2 enemy types...
*boring ass weapns
*boring ass everything
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:32 AM):
*the only cool part was when he trips out and shoots up the mantel people
*after that its just awful again
*I am sorry to say this but free radical deserved to go bankrupt after making this fecal berry
nosferatu1922 says (12:33 AM):
*okay, lets go burn our copys of tsfp3 (Timesplitters Future Perfect) then
*THAT WILL SHOW THEM
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:33 AM):
*no fuck that, you know what I mean
*their money problems were warranted
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:34 AM):
*this game was total ass in video game form
*not good ass
*stinky 500 pound hairy stretch mark covered ass
nosferatu1922 says (12:34 AM):
*so more cushin for the pushin?
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:34 AM):
*lol
*man this game
*its as bad as soldier of fortune payback
*army of 2 was better
nosferatu1922 says (12:35 AM):
*what the hell
*you need to calm down
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*ughhhhhhhhhh you dissapoint me free radical
nosferatu1922 says (12:35 AM):
*it was average
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*I must go exectue an innocent monkey now as revenge
nosferatu1922( says (12:35 AM):
*AAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVV EEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG GGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:35 AM):
*its was bad
*below average
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:36 AM):
*it wasnt unplayable or broken
*but it was boring as hell
*its like a 5.5 out of 10
*6 out of 10 max
nosferatu1922 says (12:36 AM):
*you need to crank up the difficulty then
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:36 AM):
*maybe, but even then it would be boring as hell
*there is no strategy to the combat
*just run at them and hold down the trigger or wait for them to do the same to u
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:37 AM):
*2 enemy types??!?!?!
*cmon
*wtf
*boring as hell
*ughgghghghghg
*crappy ass vehicle handling
nosferatu1922 says (12:37 AM):
*..............
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:37 AM):

*ugghghghghgh ghghghghghghhghgghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh ghghghghghghghghghghgh
nosferatu1922 says (12:37 AM):
*well lets play coop
*NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWZZZZZZZZZZ
*or tommarowazcdjaklfn
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin is sending a sound*.
Action: Play "M16"
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*no
*I will put a bullet in my skull before that occurs
nosferatu1922 says (12:38 AM):
*yes we will be shooting people with guns in the game
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*I am selling this game back as soon as possible
nosferatu1922 says (12:38 AM):
*did you even play multi?
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:38 AM):
*yea
*it was meh
*wasnt terrible
*but not good either
*was just a nade spamfest and teamkill fest
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*and the mantel trooper just rape the rebels every time
nosferatu1922 says (12:39 AM):
*bullshit
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*i only played like 30 mins of a team mode
nosferatu1922 says (12:39 AM):
*rebels allways ussually wins
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:39 AM):
*but I really have no interest to try it anymore
*lets just wait until i get cod5 , then we can online co op
*because this shit is shit
nosferatu1922 says (12:40 AM):
* Come on!
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:40 AM):
*lol I am mad I payed 8 dollars for this
*lol
*it is worth 1 dollar
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*coop is worht 7 more dollaersz
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:41 AM):
*and that is only for the meh multiplayer
*that single player
*uggggggggggggggh
*i cant imagine co op being fun
*same shit game
*just with 2 people now
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*4 peoplez
*on insane mode
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:41 AM):
*so, now its just a crowded shit game
nosferatu1922 says (12:41 AM):
*with flamethrower
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:42 AM):
*stop defending this game, deep down in your evil cold black heart you know this game is a steaming pile of rancid horse maneur
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:43 AM):
*heh, you care if I post this in my blog
*THis convo
*about my hatred for the game
*I was going to rant about it in the blog
*but already did it ehre
*here
nosferatu1922 says (12:43 AM):
*i say its an average shooter and with the price you pay for it nowadays makes for a great experienc
*COOOPZZNLJNLKAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWZZZ
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:43 AM):
*no
*I refuse
nosferatu1922 says (12:43 AM):
*YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:44 AM):
*hey so u care if ur im name is in my blog, since your paraonid in all
nosferatu1922 says (12:44 AM):
*i say its better then halo 1 & 2 PUT TOGETHER
Scott/LazyHoboGuy/WormAssassin says (12:44 AM):
*or I can change your name to something else like "retardwholikeshazeforsomestrangereaston"

If you made it through this vile trash.... You are a very strong willed person and deserve a treat. Well it is also just as vile lol. But you know the risks of reading my blog, so I blame only YOU.





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About lazyhoboguyone of us since 1:41 AM on 12.09.2008

My main hobby is playing video games so most of my blogs will be about them.

My consoles are: Game Boy, Game Boy Advance(and gba sp), Nintendo 64, Play Station 2, Play Station 3, Xbox 1 NES, SNES, and Gamecube.

Here is my video game collection:
https://lazyhoboguy.webs.com/

Here is a list of just my online video games:

https://lazyhoboguy.webs.com/My%20Online%20Video%20Games.htm

I also am active in playing PS2 and Xbox 1 games through LAN tunneling. I play games that have had their online servers taken down. A program called xlink kai
(https://www.teamxlink.co.uk/) allows ps2 and xbox games with a LAN option to be played online still. Timesplitters Future Perfect on PS2 is the game I play the most through this method.


If you want to plan game with other Playstation 2 online players and Playstation 2 LAN tunnelers (using Xlink Kai) check out this site:

https://www.ps2onlinegaming.com

my youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy

My nicknames for other stuff

Xfire: WormAssassin
psn: lazyhoboguy
Xlink: lazyhobobum
PSN ID:lazyhoboguy


 

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