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LONG BLOG

*SHUNK* My Knife - Your Face

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Modern Warfare 2 has minimized the perks from its predecessor and upped the collective of weapons you can dispose of your fellow enemy with. To be fair, there is an amazing selection that makes for extremely balanced warfare. From Sentry turrets to Sniper Rifles, and from Tactical Nukes to the almighty combat blade; to which I have developed a big fat hard on for.

Since the dawn of time, man has loved to produce sharp things to stab and slice things with. Regardless of what belief system you have, it is true. Evolution had the Precambrian Monkey Men smacking rocks into sharp instruments to plant into the skull of some other hairy dude that fucked his food collecting, flare bush of a misses. That, and they also liked to hunt with it, but who cares about civilized killing for procreation?

In the Christian bible the first siblings to ever be given mention; Kane and Able, had a jealousy problem with each other so Kane decided it would be in his best interests to shank his only brother to solve the issue of who God would love the most...obviously the tactic did not work, but the stabbing sure as hell did.

Fast forward to today, the knife has so many uses that they have to put about fifty different kinds into one and call it a Swiss army tool. But if it isn't big enough to see your face in it's reflective blade, then who cares? The following statistics are taken from my favorite custom class, and collectively, they practically make me Sonic the Hedgehog welding knives and guns...on speed.



- Class Name: The Runner

- Title: Impaler

- Primary Weapon: UMP45 Sub Machine Gun with Red Dot Sight: Light and automatic with decent accuracy.

- Secondary Weapon: AA-12 Automatic Shot Gun: Light weight with decent spread for close encounters.

- Special Equipment: Recoverable Throwing Knife: Difficult to use but oh, so satisfying

- Perk 1: Marathon - Unlimited sprinting and fast ladder climbing.
- Perk 2: Lightweight - Quick on my feet and quick aim after sprinting.
- Perk 3: Commando - Can leap further at somebody with a knife and not take damage from falls.



Needless to say, this class was set up for the simple pleasure of being able to run around the map at top speed while sticking my blade into every single opponent that has the unfortunate fate of crossing paths with me.

I am difficult to hit with a sniper rifle, I am hard to catch with a spray of gun fire and by the time an enemy has seen me, I usually have a blade stuck in their face...

I wait for a challenge...bring it mother fuckers, my knife needs to be fed.



P.S - Whatever you do, don't google knife fight...it ain't pretty
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About Samuel Dillingerone of us since 1:58 AM on 06.24.2008



Currently Playing:

...A lot of stuff

I like to fap...a lot.

I have been on Destructoid for a little and have grown to really love it's community. I love to write articles on gaming and I find it easy to do with Destructoid. I am currently studying a Bachelor Degree of Communication (Journalism), so that one day I can hope to do this professionally.

While studying I jump from job to job like crazy because I don't want to do anything but write, and while that may sound reckless, I assure you that I really couldn't live any other way if I tried.

I just want to say thanks to everybody involved with Destructoid including every reader, community blogger and contributor. It really is an amazing place in the digital, shit infested swamp lands of the internet.



I am a proud member of the Refused Classification panel also consisting of Destructoid members Puppy Licks and DanMazkin, which brings to the plate a fortnightly Destructoid only podcast and soon to be video content which will also be featuring guest appearances from gaming celebs such as the Masterchief.



I also write on Stereotoid; a weekly shift in the Earth's crust where the greatest music from all time seeps forth and pushes its way into our ears then forces us to write about it through mental fuckism. If you understood that, then well done.

P.S - One day I will write for Destructoid...That's right Niero! I'M COMING FOR YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
Xbox LIVE:MR D1LL1NGER
Mii code:[email protected]


 

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