So, I've tried to adjust. I've tried to accept that things in life aren't always what you want them to be.
I want to believe that it is something to overcome, like a hurdle - by surpassing the thing that holds you back, you must somehow become better than you were before. It's like Piccolo and Goku training with weighted clothes, right? That must be it.
But here, at the end of my near-infinite patience, I find no such solace. No rainbow pointing the way to a pot of gold filled with immeasurable skillsets. No pearly, gilded gates forming the border of what separates perfect reason from perfect madness. Not even a card in the mail detailing how the last 2 years have been a giant joke played on me by a faceless corporation who thinks that I and my ilk are second-class controller-jockey citizens.
In short, I have fucking had it
Playing fighting games on 360 is great, it's got the online experience I have always wanted, with little to no hiccups, never mind outright drops. It's the controller that ruins. It. ALL.
Sure, I could go and pick up a Mad Catz Fightpad. But I wasn't a huge fan of them when I did use them, as they felt too much like playing on a pad of butter changing physical state on a hot baked potato. I am in no way, shape or form a rich man, so blowing money on a decent fightstick isn't that much of an option, especially that faptastic Tournament Edition SFIV kit.
But, I play on a default D-Pad on the controller I have been supplied. And I have made do.
But no longer, damn it. No fucking longer.
After playing...let's see...SSF2T:HDR, SFIV, MVC2, KOFXII, GAROU, SAMSHO2, BATTLE FANTASIA, BLAZBLUE and SOULCALIBUR4 with this piece of shit, I've finally hit my breaking point with TEKKEN 6. Tekken-fucking-SIX
. I deserve
a goddamn medal for putting up with this, and so does anyone else who's trudged through the sea of bullshit that Microsoft has so conveniently placed in between fighting game fans and a small island called "fun."
See, I do fine on PS3. The D-Pad makes sense, and it's functional as hell, and may very well be the finest control apparatus I have ever used. Simplistic and trustworthy, like an aging dog who just wants his daily walks. I'm more than happy to oblige that kind old friend.
But the 360 D-Pad is anything but. I have no animal to equate it with. I imagine it would be something that pisses in your detergent bottles, shits in all of the beds and clean towels, and tries to outright rape your houseguests in any orifice it finds handy at the time, snarling all the while. It's not like putting it to sleep would do any good. It won't even be stopped by bullets. It demands an official fucking exorcism to truly be rid of its unholy taint.
Microsoft, you need to fucking fix this. You just can't play fighting games on this piece of shit pad. It breaks the laws of natural physics, for anyone's sakes, be it Christ, Buddha, Ieyasu Tokugawa for all I fucking care. This ends now.
It's as if you placed a giant dinner plate upon a toothpick and asked me to perform a symphony on it.
You fucking assholes.
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