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Surgery + new Gamefly account = 3 games beat!


So I got my wisdom teeth, top and bottom, yanked out this week. You would think that would be no big deal right? Well according to my oral surgeon I need to be bed ridden for the rest of the week. So no way in hell am I going to give up that opportunity.

In the meantime, as I have said in my blog post last week, I'm poor. After attempting to use (and failing and subsequently pissing people off on) Goozex I caved in and began my Gamefly subscription this week. This coincided with Brutal Legend perfectly so that I wouldn't be bored. Well it's 48 hours after my surgery and I beat all three games...already...dammit.

Brütal Legend
After reading the DToid review I didn't know where my excitement fell when I popped in BL for the first time this week. My hope was that being a huge metalhead (Lamb of God introduced me to music), having a high tolerance for repetition, and pure hype would blind me to any faults of the game. Overall however I have to say that BL was actually a damn good game. Far better than I think it has gotten credit for. I think a lot of people believe BL's fault lies in it trying to do too much without doing anything particularly well. Or at least Gabe and Tycho have convinced me of that. I call bollocks! BL was a damn fine hack n' slash as well as an easy to play RTS. Here are my pros (Megadeth) and cons (Metallica):

*If you're a metalhead this game will be right up your alley. This shit was built by fans for fans and it's obvious.
*The cast and characters are fucking metal. Jack Black finds his perfect stride, Ozzy is as lovably annoying as ever, and the old debate of who is sexier, Lemmy Kilmister or Lita Ford, will once again cause dysfunctional cubicles.
*Epic battles. Seriously.
*Balances strategy and action. This is where things get fickle but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say BL did a great job at balancing things. While it feels awkward to switch up tactics it's not impossible and strategy players and action players both have a fair shot at victory so I consider that balance.
*Beautiful world with some of the most kickass artwork this side of an Iron Maiden LP.

*Short, short, short.
* Repetitive.
*Seriously, does Ozzy have to speak every time I pick something to buy?
*Reminds me that Lita Ford will never accept my many sexual advances. Hmph.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
I won't harp on this game. It's amazing. If you haven't played it then do so. I got it from Gamefly and easily feel like it would've been worth the $60. Pros and cons:

Heath Ledger
*Just feels like old school gaming. Just really tight controls without all the flash and dash that currently floods gaming. All the genre mashing and such. Bleck! Gimme old school action/adventure. No FPS/RPG/RTS/Puzzle/Racing sim crap.
*Totally nerdworthy. Seriously I so dig the cast here.
*A Serious House On Serious Earth, the games loose source, equals victory.
*Great atmosphere.
*Harley Quinn. Mmm...tasty.

Jack Nicholson
*Where's Two Face? Seriously. Did I miss something here? Why not make the cast perfect?
*Was it just me or did the difficulty take a giant leap about 3/4 of the way through?
*Made me think ditry thoughts about Harley Quinn...still not sure how I feel about that.

Whoo! Okay let me say this game completely blew my mind. I was not expecting this game to be nearly as fun and memorable as it was. Critics be damned! I loved this game. It's just flat out fun. As a huge grindhouse (or technically exploitation films) fan this felt like a fan-to-fan game much like in Brutal Legend. Pros and cons:

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
*Damn good writing. Seriously Eliza Dushku. Do yo' thang.
*I like the color scheme. That's gonna sound weird but if you've ever seen an aged exploitation film you know how the colors can just grab a mood. It's pretty neat and WET has got that in spades.
*Action packed. Shooting, slicing, and epic car chases. I hear some people complaining about how the slow-mo slows the game down but I was totally fine with it. It didn't bug me at all. Plus the swords were cooler than the guns anyway.
*Amazing soundtrack.
*Rubi Malone is the hottest woman in gaming. NO ARGUING!

Zombie Strippers
*I really wish they gave Rubi more of a history. Why is this sexy woman so pissed off all the time? Seriously.
*No other memorable characters other than Rubi.
*Gunplay felt a little gimpy to me. It definitely could've been tightened up.

I have nothing even attempting to model intelligence this week but I'm having a good week. I just finished these gems and just felt like sharin'. Next week is DJ Hero! DJ HERO!!! And whatever games Gamefly sends my way of course.
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About Xzyliacone of us since 1:14 PM on 06.13.2007














Why everyone should at least lurk on the DToid forums.

I Review Them In Stereo:
Joanna Newsom's Have One On Me
Two Door Cinema Club's Tourist History
Tunng's ...And Then We Saw Land

Things people say I like:

I can't fully enjoy the PS3 without an ample supply of hookers and blow. How does that figure into your Reaganomics? - MegaStryker

I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see. - Alice from Alice in Wonderland; the greatest book ever written

Best thing about those cards are how bad the pun/product writing is. "I only have Snake Eyes for you." "You've Duke'd it out with my heart and now I'm yours to command." "I have a Cobra Commander in my pants." - sheppy

How to read a review without being pissed off:
1. Decide prematurely whether the game is balls, or the second coming of flying spaghetti monster.
2. Go to www.metacritic.com and search for the game.
3. If flying spaghetti monster, click on first link. If balls, scroll to the end and click on the last link.
4. You should now be sitting and staring at a review you agree with.
5. Complement reviewer on such a well thought out and non biased review.

That's because WWI was a pretty low-budget project, it was mostly about the story of soldiers in trenches and lay-low tactics, the sequel WWII, was really the bomb, with millions of dollars invested on it and top notch action sequences. - adrianboy

I think booze is a pretty cool guy. eh keeps me from doing the recaps on time and doesn't afraid of anything. - Pendleton21

Everyone else tolerates it because you're an attractive woman, I find that quite shallow. - Mousse420

*NOTE: I like that quote because at least I know if everyone is going to assume I'm female at least I'm attractive. Call me.

I was able to cause my child to fall into a well of depression after shattering his tailbone by horribly failing the see-saw QTE at the park three times in a row. Then I tried to cheer him up by buying him candy, but picked the one flavor he didn't like. It was like reliving my own childhood.


- SuitcoatAvenger -

Xzyliac: @punisher898 Score! I wonder if Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa hang out together. #ponders
punisher898 (aka Occams Electric Toothbrush): @Xzyliac: I bet if they do its like the best Folger's coffee commercial ever.

That's awesome. Hollywood writers are the best! I had one make me an iced latte the other day. It was totally adequate!

Uno just brings out the animals in all of us. It's just too sexy of a game.

Xzyliac, shut up, you\'re not cool.
-Fear No Darkness

*NOTE: I would like to note that later on I explained myself to Fear No Darkness and he totally sent me an apologetic PM. He's a classy fella whom I'd love to share a drink with sometime.

If you've never had promiscuous thoughts about a Dreamcast then you're not a gamer.
Xbox LIVE:Xzyliac
Steam ID:Xzyliac
Mii code:6357-9967-6745-0063


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