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LONG BLOG

If You Do Any Of This, Stop It Now: Gaming Pet Peeves

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I'm sure we all have our pet peeves, such as the sound of metal scratching metal, someone saying "bro" a little too many times, the sound of someone smacking their gum, etc, and I'm also sure through the advent of Online gaming, we have all heard/seen our fair share of things that continue to infuriate us. Maybe some of the things I'm about to go into will piss some people off just by reading it, others because they actually do it, but you know what? Who gives a fuck? Let's hop to it:

1. Use of the term "W + M1 Pyro" or any other variation

If you play Team Fortress 2, then you have no doubt come across dumbasses that berate Pyro players with the term "W + M1" or anything like that. For those of you who don't know what this means, it is referring to the controls "w", which moves the player forward, and "M1", which sprays the Pyro's flames. See how brilliant they are? They took the control scheme and turned it into an insult! Reminds of Elementary school kids who don't curse coming up with rhyming insults to people's names.

The term is meant to imply that the player is doing nothing more than rushing into a group of enemies like an idiot and getting free damage/kills. This means the player is obviously a shitty Pyro and therefore must be reminded of this, even though most of the time, the Pyro gets the kills because the dumbasses don't know how to, oh I don't know, kill him. Even if the term wasn't completely obsolete by the fact that you could just have easily not said anything and killed him like any normal person would, it's also probably the most obnoxious shit to ever leave a person's mouth.

Pyros are not any less legitimate a class to play than any other, for when played properly, he/she(wink) is one of the most important classes in the game in terms of support. The Medic's job seems just as one-dimensional, yet you don't hear people bitching about them; in fact, Medics, if the option is enabled, don't even have to hold a button down to do their job! It all comes down to dumbasses being dumbasses, which is their prerogative, but how about we just call a moratorium on the phrase? While we're at it, also shut the hell about the Backburner.

2. Use of the term "GIRL GAMER"

When did it become such a taboo to be a female and use voice chat? Hearing the voice of a female in a game elicits one of three reactions by people in the game: 1) People tell her to shut up and sarcastically call her a "GIRL GAMER", 2) Be polite to her, strike up conversation with her, etc. in hopes of getting a girlfriend, because, you know, that will happen, 3) Completely ignore her. What is the world coming to when the best reaction out of the three is to be ignored completely?

The term "Girl Gamer", besides being totally stupid (We don't call male game players "GUY GAMERS"), it's also absolutely fucking obsolete. If you have a girl who won't shut the hell up about being into games, or having a cute boyfriend, etc., then tell her that she's an Attention Whore, because that's what she is. Do the same for any guy that comes on and won't shut up about his girlfriend, but that's another story...

This also applies for the ladies; women, please, for the love of God, do not refer to yourselves as "GIRL GAMERS". I use capslock to reiterate the sheer obnoxiousness of the term. You are not "GIRL GAMERS" just as we are not "GUY GAMERS"; we are just people that play games, that for the sake of simplicity, call ourselves "Gamers" (Although the term is getting thrown around a little too much for my taste...). I don't think I need to continue it any further: guys, don't call anyone a "GIRL GAMER". Girls: Don't call yourselves "GIRL GAMERS".

3. The Boyfriend

I think we've all run into this guy: he's the guy that wants every single one of us desperate nerds how awesome he is because he has a girlfirend, as if that made him better than any other person. He will remind everyone by talking about how he was "hanging out with [his] girlfriend today" and such, and constantly remind everyone about her existence.

Do I really need to go into why this is annoying as all hell? I think it really comes down to this: no one cares. No one gives a shit about you, your girlfriend, how cute she is, how awesome it is to have one, or really anything else that involves your personal life that no one fucking asked about. If you have a girlfriend, good for you, good job, I hope you two are happy together, but don't tell everyone about it; speak when spoken to.

These guys tend to also be the ones who think they relate to girls that happen to be in the game because they aren't hitting on them since, you know, they have girlfriends and all. If you want to talk to someone, male or female, there's no reason to make it sound like you have been allowed to speak to them. All in all, people, no one cares about your relationships on the internet, or usually in real life. I have my personal life, you have yours. Keep them separate.

4 The "Brainiacs"

This goes out to all of you people that think you are Nietzsche-lite Supermen; you're not. No one cares that read through "Atlas Shrugged" after you played through Bioshock and read the wikipedia on it and claim to understand it. No one cares that you read "novels" that continue your favorite Science Fiction property's canon (Halo being the lowest common denominator). No one cares what your GPA was/is (You're lying about it anyways), no one cares about how many AP Exams you passed or what your SAT scores are.

These are the people that get into endless debates with other people during the game about shit no one asked them about. Things like the moral obligations of piracy, the sacredness of the Star Wars trilogy, how good the last episode of Battlestar Gallactica was (Not anymore, I guess), or anything else. Just because you used a big word half-correctly doesn't make you smart; it means you speak english.

Really, here are some steps to prove how intelligent you are on the internet: Step 1: Write down a plan. Step 2: Rubberband that to a Dildo. Step 3: Shove it up your ass, because no one gives a shit.

I'll go into more later; right now I have to stop or else I risk dying from the rage-induced clotting in my brain.
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About Canti-samaone of us since 9:47 PM on 08.03.2009

Hello, I'm Trevor Johnson, also known as Canti-sama. I like to write about things including videogames (that should be paramountly obvious at this point...) music, film, and anime, so what you see in this blog is just one part of my pretentiousness! I'm a nit-picky bitch when it comes to basically everything, so excuse me if I seem like kind of an elitist, even though I try not to be. If I had to sum up who I am, I would do it through top 5 lists, so how about we a do a few right now! But before that, since DTOID tends to remove frontpage posts from my c-blog, here's the list of my frontpages, which I thank everyone very much for!

Frontpage Posts:
1. Monthly Musing - I suck At Videogames: Nostalgia's Curse, 8/12/09
2. Promoted Story - Suda 51 and the "Art" of Videogames, 9/6/09
3. Monthly Musing - Nothing is Sacred: Videogames, 10/7/09

-----FAVORITES-----

Top 5 Favorite Videogames:
5. Fallout 3, PC
4. Mega Man X, SNES
3. Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4, PS2
2. Braid, PC
1. Shadow of the Colossus, PS2

Top 5 Favorite Albums:
5. Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm a Machine, 2004
4. Radiohead - O.K. Computer, 1997
3. Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 85-92, 1992
2. Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam, 2007
1. Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation, 1988

Top 5 Films:
5. Brazil, Directed by Terry Gilliam
4. Fargo, Directed by Joel Coen
3. Fight Club, Directed by David Fincher
2. Shaun of the Dead, Directed by Edgar Wright
1. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Directed by Sergio Leone

Top 5 Anime Productions:
5. Spirited Away, Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
4. The Big O, Directed by Kazuyoshi Katayama
3. Cowboy Bebop, Directed by Shinichirō Watanabe
2. Neon Genesis Evangelion, Directed by Hideko Anno
1. Fooly Cooly, Directed by Kazuya Tsurumaki

----OTHER STUFF----
Avery Island: Musical Opinions From Music Geeks
PSN Name: MetalLink1979
Wii Friend Code - 8089-7286-5497-4717
XBL - Metal Link 904 (Note: My Xbox 360 is in possession of my brother, so this is no longer technically my XBL Tag)
Xbox LIVE:Metal Link 904
Steam ID:MetalLink1979
Mii code:8089-7286-5497-4717


 

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