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LONG BLOG

Sexier than Bayonetta

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As a literature student, I shall use my superior writing abilities and intellect to win you over with my impressive arguments. Now, you may wish to judge me for not having actually played Bayonetta, but I can assure you that I would never have to due to the fact that I am a Sony supporter, and I only purchase titles that are exclusive to my system.

inFamous and Bayonetta are both videogames within the action genre that, to put it bluntly, only really exist to give people erections. When comparing these games with one another, it becomes unmistakably obvious that inFamous is the superior title. Anyone who thinks otherwise and favours the pathetically ambulatory and truly inferior Bayonetta is obviously a blathering dolt who should be taken out back and flogged into submission.



It is fairly evident that Bayonetta is merely a reskinned abortion of a Devil May Cry title. Anyone who has played the Devil May Cry 4 demo on their PS3 can attest to how awful it is. Therefore, one can assert that Bayonetta was created merely as a sexual experiment in the medium of gaming, and offers little to no enjoyment in the sector of actual gameplay. In Bayonetta “some female characters perform suggestive taunts and poses, including opening their legs or gyrating their hips.”* Tecmo have already tested these tried-and-true tactics to the point where they have become tattered and tired. In addition to this, Bayonetta tries to play on every young boy’s fantasy of a sexy librarian, but in doing so it becomes evident that Platinum Games obviously have little imagination or creativity and must shamelessly emulate other things from popular culture in order to succeed.

In contrast, Sucker Punch was quite ingenious in crafting inFamous as a sexual experience. Firstly, the morality system does an impressive job at making the player feel like a naughty boy. There is always the option to do the ever so quaint “right thing”. However, it is so much more rewarding to do the opposite that positively no one can resist the allure of evil and the incredibly, edibley sexy Sasha.



Throughout inFamous, “a boss character named Sasha appears covered in a tar-like substance, which leaves her cleavage exposed. She sometimes makes suggestive comments during battle”** as well as later in the game in psychic messages akin to fever dreams which occur during inFamous’ impressively complex moral side missions. Her voice is so sexually charged and suggestive that anyone playing inFamous is surely hiding a massive erection. Platinum Games rely on playing on adolescent fantasies to stir arousal in its players, where as Sucker Punch have created a game so sexually charged that you cannot help but lust after a psychopathic drug addict.

Additionally, in one of the most brilliantly inventive moves in gaming history, Sucker Punch has made the gameplay so awful that most of it can be boiled down to relentlessly mashing a single button in order to progress. While this may sound like an awful gameplay mechanic, it only requires the player to equip the controller with one hand, leaving the other to be placed squarely around his joystick. As such, inFamous is most certainly the superior title in every respect, and puts Bayonetta to shame.



Works Cited
*ESRB "Bayonetta." Entertainment Software Rating Board 2009. 17 Sept 2009<http://www.esrb.org/ratings/synopsis.jsp?Certificate=26682 >.
**ESRB "inFamous." Entertainment Software Rating Board 2009. 17 Sept 2009.<http://www.esrb.org/ratings/synopsis.jsp?Certificate=26692 >.

This article has been peer reviewed.
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About Kyle MacGregor Burlesonone of us since 1:40 PM on 02.16.2009


I used to work here. Now I just hang around and make a mess.


PSN ID:cadtalfryn
Steam ID:cadtalfryn
Mii code:3967-7516-0229-0303


 

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