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The Ramblings of a Mad Man From Outer Space

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LONG BLOG

Why I love Destructoid... >_>;;

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Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
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About Krowone of us since 6:05 PM on 08.15.2008



Favorite games:
Breath of Fire III
Breath of Fire IV
Chrono Trigger
Chrono Cross
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Final Fantasy series
Gradius III
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Mega Man series
Mega Man Legends
Mega Man Legends 2
Mega Man X series
No More Heroes
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
Paper Mario
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Persona 3
Persona 4
Phantasy Star II
Phantasy Star IV
Pikmin II
Pokemon Gold
R-Type III
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
An assortment of other games I'm forgetting

I'm an aspiring writer, musician, and artist. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm very talented in any of those fields, but that won't stop me from throwing the titles around. I'm presently a high school graduate who has no idea what he wants to do with his life.

Contact me. I'm bored.

AIM: clumsybigfoot
MSN: [email protected]
Gtalk: [email protected]

(Last Updated Saturday October 2nd, 2010)
Xbox LIVE:Clumsybigfoot
PSN ID:Clumzibigfoot
Steam ID:clumzibigfoot


 

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