I suck at games: and thanks for letting me know that, Internet

The confusion was compounded after reading about Super Smash Bros. online. I had always been competitive, but I never got into the tourney scene. Wave-dashing? L-canceling? What are these people even talking about? I quickly put it to the back of my mind and decided to just dump on tourney players from then on out. (But to be fair, they deserve it.)

The problem is worse than it has ever been today, with Internet connectivity on all of the major consoles, and persistent leaderboards on many titles. So now, there is no illusion that you are the best, unless you are the one ridiculously dedicated/talented/crazy person to get the top score on the worldwide leaderboards.

Even some of what I consider my greatest recent achievements are small fries on a worldwide scale. Beating Bionic Commando: Rearmed on Super Hard mode took every ounce of my patience, persistence, and skill. It took me over a month of constant practice. And when I finally did it, I felt like I was on top of the world, until I saw the leaderboard, which curtly let me know that I was not at all on top of the world; in fact, I was the eighteenth person to do it, and that was only counting Xbox Live users.

Back in the day, I thought I was the best. It turns out, I might have been the best eight year old Street Fighter II player at my arcade. I might have been the (second) best Halo player at my school. I might have been the best Smash Bros. player in my dorm. But the truth is, I suck at games. The illusion was preserved because until relatively recently, I was only playing with people who suck more.