Hello, my name is SWE3tMadness, and I suck at strategy.
Oh, donít get me wrong, I know simple tricks like ďAlways aim for the eye,Ē and Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors, but that just means my whole meta-game principle pretty much amounts to ďHit itís weak point for massive damage!Ē
For example, Iím currently doing another run of Ocarina of Time this summer out of boredom (and lack of funds for new gamesÖ), and when facing down a boss, a veteran gamerís first instinct would be to keep your distance and wait for an opening to appear.
Well, fuck that shit. LEEEEROOOOOY JEENKIIIIIINNSS!
Hey, I may have only one and a half hearts left after using up one fairy-in-a-bottle, but at least the big bad monster is dead now, right? Itís a small sacrifice to pay for saving the world.
Itís not just adventure games though. Real-time strategy? Human wave tactics (We have reserves.) RPGís? Level-grind until you can defeat the boss in one or two hits. Shooters? Set your gun to automatic and strafe.
This also is my greatest undoing when facing off against human opponents, and where the meta-game aspect of playing is crucial
to doing well. Take PokŤmon for example. After four generations of games, youíve got almost unlimited options for customizing movesets, stats, and overall strategies to guarantee victory. Unfortunately, a lot of these strategies rely on you being able to predict an opponentís moves and plan accordingly.
Did I mention Iím also terrible at chess?
Itís honestly not that Iím stupid
enough to take advantage of meta-gaming principles or try to formulate better strategies, itís just that whenever I try it, I end up getting so frustrated that I get killed anyways. Itís unbelievably hard for me to try and memorize attack patterns while running around an enclosed space trying desperately trying to dodge
said attack at the same time. Iíll try to beat boss battles and enemy encounters the ďrightĒ way, but eventually, I find itís just faster to find the biggest sword you can get your hands on, boost your health as much as possible, and load up with healing items. And if Iím going down, Iím taking this fucker with me.