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Put Down the Games and Nobody Gets Hurt.

Dear Activision,

I hate you. You are bad people. And you made me cry. I popped in the latest James Bond title and your logo flashed across the screen, and that's all it took. How you secured the rights to publish this game is beyond me, but I'm sure it involved blackmail, sexual favors, and things of that nature.

I'm demanding the release of this game from your list of published titles. You don't have to give it back to EA... Just put it in someone else's hands. It's not so much the gameplay that made me cringe, although one-button fight sequences do very little to enhance the combat scenes and are typically lame, and the blatantly obvious location of explosive materials or canisters parked directly behind every group of bad guys ensures that you can play the game blindfolded and still deal a healthy amount of damage to your enemies. What I fear most is your true-to-your-word exploitation of every title you get your hands on. Before this most recent James Bond release I'm sure you already had a group of monkeys in a room brainstorming ideas for a new one... before the next movie is released or even thought of. Probably a "greatest hits" type deal where you get to play all the funnest levels of the games that came prior. We give you $60, you give us material we've already played through... because some of us are actually that dumb.

While I'm at it, I'll also insist you release the Spiderman titles and Transformer games. Both represent pieces of my childhood that I prefer not to have raped by your utter lack of ingenuity and creativity... Of course it's too late for that, but in another developers hands I'm sure the games could be restored to something enjoyable and challenging.

You can keep Call of Duty... for now. It seems to be the only game you've gotten right, although it's fairly sad that Modern Warfare remains more popular online that your most recent installment. Better knock that off. And if you even think of releasing more than one per year just realize people are going to pick up on the exploitation bit. We're onto you... some of us anyway.

And FYI: Every time you release a Guitar Hero title an angel plummets to Earth.

Anywho, yeah. Just give up the rights to the above-mentioned games and I'll stop diligently hoping for your company's demise.

Sincerely and hatefully,

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About diceshow7one of us since 7:00 AM on 06.21.2009

Derp! This blog contains something that's not allowed here. This is a cool video game community, not a post-it board. Please check your work and try again. (For geeks: All links are rel=nofollow)

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