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LONG BLOG

Playing Final Fantasy for Autism eh? Well here are my stories about being around Autistic children

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Now I can't officially be a part of this but in support I think I'll play some FF VI and VII this week.

I mistakenly read it as Austim CURE and Treatment not CARE and Treatment...Maybe I need my glasses updated or something.

I'm not sure many dtoiders know my story and why I am well an anti autism awareness advocate. See I've seen first hand WHY autism stats are so high.

My Brother and sister are 10 and 12 years younger than me To say I have NO relationship with them is a vast understatement. I just merely coexist with them. It's impossible to have any real relationship with them though I go out in public with them I'm quite embarrassed to be seen with them. This hasn't put a strain on my relationship with my Parents but I am frequently mad at my mother for an entirely different reason.

In something that's a bit of a NO SHIT SHURLOCK to most people who've seen me post I have anger problems.
Through out my life I've delt with anxiety issues that have more or less held me back. Nobody seemed to want to recognize that I simply just have an anxiety disorder with depression. I'm easily overwhelmed I can be very quick to anger and sometimes I'll just explode without using any judgement what so ever. But in person I'm pretty shy and rarely jump into conversation or take part in one. But If I get talking you'd never know I was shy. I just don't seek conversation out. Something that may have cost me a rather Hot Asian girlfriend...but that's another story for another post.

Now We live in society where we need to label everyone that's slightly out of the definition of Normal. I fit that but I didn't have a definable learning disability. Well...the system got their wish when my brother and sister got diagnosed with Autism and I got retested for a learning disability. In what I feel was an explanation to why my brother and sister are how they are, I was labeled with Aspergers and NEVER TOLD I was. I never had a chance to dispute it. I never had a chance to ask what aspects of it fit me (to this day I'm guessing and they ALL fit other disorders) I do see a therapist who just happens to have 2 kids with classic aspergers and he and the guy I saw before him HIGHLY doubt that I have it as my social skills while I'm shy aren't dead, That I can relate to others, that I CAN recognize emotion and that I myself am not a soulless wondering shell like most with aspergers are...(look up any aspie on you tube it's like they're all the children of the corn)

For whatever reason My mom tells ALOT OF PEOPLE I have it and I tell her constantly to stop I've been treated like a complete moron because of it. Granted I DO get paid to basically do nothing but because of this diagnosis my real underlaying and unrecognized issues have gone unnoticed and have escalated to where it's more or less ruined my life. Getting paid to do nothing is ultimately unfuflling.

It was becuase of MY circumstances that I got the Epiphany in the car one day out of the blue that somebody should do something about this and THAT was when I decided to get into Psychology.

So that's why I'm an anti austim advocate. some people are diagnosed with high functioning forms of autism so that "Awareness" and funding can be artificially pushed.

Also aren't people with any form of Autism good at video games? Because....there aren't really any games i'm REALLY good at besides.....nope....none.I can play through Mega Man III effortlessly but that's through 18 years of memorization.

Now a few years ago I volunteered at a camp for autistic kids. They wanted an anime expert and somehow they caught wind of me. I needed something kid friendly that wasn't poke or digimon. Trust me that was HARD eventually I went with an episode of a lighter DigiCherat and the Ghibli classic Castle in the Sky (A movie I never fully watched until 4th of July weekend this year) not without help mind you beucase I was VERY limited by what I could show them. The Range of kids at this camp were to say the least interesting. Some were 15 and couldn't say a word. Other could speak and had slurred speech (like my brother..) other rocked around and couldn't stop moving (like my brother and sister) Some I felt had no business at all (I got in trouble for talking to a girl about her diagnosis because I felt she didn't belong there I struck up a friendship with her family that lasted a few years then fell apart because...well she had the asperger female trait of being a slut)
There was this one HUGE kid that was like a white version of Wrestling Legend Kamala. he had streachmarks and well.......was quite large Kind of like what's his face in of Mice and Men. He bit a councilor and ALMOST beat the shit out of me for no reason. I'm not short I'm about 5'11 and this THING towered over me. I could have defended my self but, is it socially acceptable to defend yourself against somebody with the mentality of an infant? SIGH, I think not.

Anyways those are my tales of dealing with Autism, if I had to rewind my life....YES I would trade it for everything in the world. Autism has basically ruined my life.

That said, I'll still dabble in some Final Fantasy this week in support of the gamers playing through all of them. For other people like me that have had their live ruined by autistic siblings.
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About michiyoyoshikuone of us since 10:34 PM on 12.06.2006

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