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LONG BLOG

A personal message to Michael Bay (NVGR)

   0


Congratulations Michael Bay,

You have exceeded my expectations in your direction with your latest masterpiece, Transformers, The Rise of the Fallen. The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, Robot Jox...your film is now in my personal favorites collection to stay.

Megan Fox running in slow motion through out half the film, Optimus Prime taking on 5 different Decepticons at once...The rest of the film however is a total retarded, fucked up, waste of money that could have gone to putting more hospital beds in our rural hospitals so that people can stop dying from Swine Flu here in Victoria, Australia.

Between Shia LaBouf's annoying as fuck and pointless parents somehow swapping from the U.S to France to Egypt every 30 fucking minutes, a black soldier that could do a toothpaste commercial with his sparkly teeth that look like an army of albino soldiers standing in line, the terrible script consisting of rotten dialect and shit house jokes (including a weed cookie taking effect 2 minutes after consumption when it would take over an hour to digest), Explosions EVERYWHERE consisting of robots and people I couldn't give a fuck about, representing America (yet again) in the idealistic fashion of being the all mighty masters of the universe that now control the Autobots, and last but not least; Decepticons that decide they want to be Autobots for the fuck of it at the convenient time and turning point of the film.

But as I said, great job on Megan Fox, Optimus Prime and Slow Motion.

Keep up the good work.

P.S- Try to keep in mind that without a decent story with characters we couldn't give a fuck about, we don't care about the things that go BOOM! around them.

P.P.S- The movie title sounds like a advertising campaign for Viagra


Note: If you feel I spoiled the movie for you in this write up, I am doing you a favor! Trust me.
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About Samuel Dillingerone of us since 1:58 AM on 06.24.2008



Currently Playing:

...A lot of stuff

I like to fap...a lot.

I have been on Destructoid for a little and have grown to really love it's community. I love to write articles on gaming and I find it easy to do with Destructoid. I am currently studying a Bachelor Degree of Communication (Journalism), so that one day I can hope to do this professionally.

While studying I jump from job to job like crazy because I don't want to do anything but write, and while that may sound reckless, I assure you that I really couldn't live any other way if I tried.

I just want to say thanks to everybody involved with Destructoid including every reader, community blogger and contributor. It really is an amazing place in the digital, shit infested swamp lands of the internet.



I am a proud member of the Refused Classification panel also consisting of Destructoid members Puppy Licks and DanMazkin, which brings to the plate a fortnightly Destructoid only podcast and soon to be video content which will also be featuring guest appearances from gaming celebs such as the Masterchief.



I also write on Stereotoid; a weekly shift in the Earth's crust where the greatest music from all time seeps forth and pushes its way into our ears then forces us to write about it through mental fuckism. If you understood that, then well done.

P.S - One day I will write for Destructoid...That's right Niero! I'M COMING FOR YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
Xbox LIVE:MR D1LL1NGER
Mii code:[email protected]


 

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