There. I am now completely
out of my element. Home and Garden Associations! I am here to look suspicious, to get out of your yards and stop playing that darned rock n' roll music!
(Yes, the 3D Glasses are absolutely
necessary. Do not question the red/cyan spectrum. You will only get severe eyestrain!)
I would do the full unpacking thing, but I have determined it far too boring to release onto the masses. The narcolepsy that would befall this land would be nigh unrecoverable from.
INSTEAD, a post on the main Destructoid site about the Missile Command vinyl album today
made me remember that I had not only heard it before, but have a link to snag the whole album for download!
The Missile Command songs are surreal in of themsleves (Remember the plots you would make based on the covers of Atari 2600 games? It's sort of like that, but with a chorus phoning in "Missile commannnnddd!" every few seconds), but the real gem on this page is the Asteroids drama vinyl.
Meant for a younger audience eager to pay over their allowance to have even a twinge of the game at the close reach, it details the adventure of Captain Jim Stanton and his plucky trainee kid as they fight the shit out Asteroids and inevitably gets sent backwards in time to the 1980's (You know, like Star Trek IV, but with less funny and less whales.)! Captain Jim Stanton is also kind of a dick, threatening to blow up Saturn moments after meeting his apprentice and proceeding to mock all of the eighties before (of course) saving it. Come for the asteroids, stay for the nonsensical technobabble!
So there you have it. Add this stuff to you MP3 players, kiddies, and make sure you make everyone in your car listen to it three times each! They'll be sure to thank you!
BONUS - Continuing the Pro Tip Hotline stuff from my last post:
have you ever wanted to try to improve your Dig Dug game via more ancient technolog than VHS tapes? Well, now you can with "Conquer the Video Game Craze!"
! It's worth it just to hear the audio summary of each game. (As with Centipede: "You - are - a - gun - who - is -also - a - snake - head!" So awesome.)