Snappy Intro: Hello o powerful and mighty Destructoid community. I am the DRM Master (Clever, huh?), and I am a long time lurker, first time poster. This is (obviously) my first post, so constructive
criticism would be appreciated. Thank you in advance and stuff. Anyway, I'm not that stellar of a writer, but I can make a good post once and a while. I am not confident enough I could write an entire page just about myself, so I will be using the cliche'd "10 Things You Don't Know About Me" style, except I am going to count from 9 instead of 10. Because that's different, and since I'm different it makes me cooler.
9: I hate Indie games. Kinda.
Gasp! The heresy! Well, in my personal opinion (puts shield on with +15 fire resistance) I think Indie art games are a bit pretentious. I am not against gaming as an art form, but when most of the "game" part is sacrificed in the "the name of art", it really bugs me. I'm not saying every game needs guns and tits in it for it to be good. I do like some Indie games, I love Alien Hominid and Castle Crashers alike, and I'm really excited for Zeno Clash. 8: I'm really not a retro gamer. Kinda.
I'm really not a retro kinda guy. I'm 15, so that whole scene is before my time. NES game and SNES games really don't sit well with me for some reason. I'm not a graphics whore by any means (although they're a nice bonus). But, as hypocritical as it is, I love the N64 to death. It was my first console, and I've been in love since. Hell, my favorite game is Rayman 2 for the N64 (I will make a post later on how underrated the game is and describe its awesomeness.). Alas, when it comes to anything before 1997, I'm not a fan. Although, I can appreciate the good retro games, but I am afraid to say I can't really get any enjoyment from them.
7: I've never beaten a Zelda, nor will I ever. Kinda.
Allow me to preface: I do not dislike Zelda games by any means. I appreciate Ocarina of Time for it's awesomeness and groundbreakingness, sure. But my problem is that I cannot "do" Zelda games. I own OoT and like 4 other Zelda titles, but I get stuck and quit. I try, I really do. I use GameFAQs as well, but for some reason I still cannot get passed the first few puzzles. I am not good at Zelda puzzles. I am not good at puzzles in general. My IQ is respectable, but there's just no way in hell I'm beating the water temple. 6: I am a Valve whore. Kinda
The "Kinda" comes from the fact that I have not beaten HL1. It bores me. Moving on.
I love(d) HL2. I loved Ep. 1, but the zombie parts are scary :0. I love Ep. 2 completely. I love TF2, although I suck at it now that I started playing Left 4 Dead (which I also love). Can't wait till they release the Survival Pack for PC!
5: I am an elitist PC gaming scumbag. Kinda.
I think PC gaming is better than console gaming for a variety of reasons, but I won't rant on that. I do not look down upon serious console gamers, though. Not everyone can afford a $1500 PC, I know. And, face it, Halo 3 is a good game. Along with CoD 4+WaW. The thing I hate about console gaming (moreso with the Xbox 360) are, you guessed it, the 7 year old kids who love to talk about how they TOTALLY went through puberty and spam on the mics incessently. It's even worse when those are the ones who snipe me in the head at Halo. I suck at Halo.
4: I built my PC. Kinda.
I bought all the parts for my PC. I installed the MoBo, the fan (somehow), the graphics card, the RAM, and the HD. Unfortunately, I got stuck. I had to give my PC to this little local store that builds PC's for people (just my luck, because Geek Squad would have charged $175....to take the case off.) If anyone asks though, I built it myself :D. But I won't lie to you, Destructoid. I love you <3.
3: I am an airsoft fanatic. Kinda.
The "Kinda" part here is the fact that I don't have a working gun...yet. I just ordered a Well MB03 from Amazon.com (400fps, Scope Included). Unfortunately, I fear it will take many Sun Cycles for the gun and the 5 pound bag of BBs to ship. I do have a 350 fps shotgun with me...too bad it jammed on the third shot, causing internal damage : (.
2: I am what you could call an "Easy Mode Gamer". Kinda.
I would not consider myself a casual gamer by any means. And I can rock and roll in Call of Duty 4, Left 4 Dead, and TF2. However, when I start up a single player game (except for Left 4 Dead and the Halo series, of course), I always select the "Easy" setting. I just beat God of War (Picked it up for $15 bucks at Gamestop, woot.) on Easy. Why do I do this? I do not know. My theory is that I'm a wussy, or maybe I want to enjoy the game without the "OH FOR GOD SAKES I HIT HIM 500 TIMES WHAT THE F-". I dunno. I don't like challenges that much. I'm a slacker.
1: I despise DRM with a firey passion. Kinda.
Yes, my name is sarcasm-charged. I loved Spore and a lot of other EA PC titles (that's the only thing that the "Kinda" has to do with the title). I have never been affected by SecuROM in a negative way. Why do I hate it? A) It does nothing to stop piracy. B) In fact, it actually accelerated piracy of those game. C) It screwed up my friend's computer. We were gonna share Spore creatures with each other too : (. I love Bethesda. I love Fallout 3. Not only because it has no DRM, but also because it's AMAZING. Good show Bethesda, good show.
Snappy Closing: Well thanks for reading Destructoid, and I'm looking forward to being a member of this fine community. SPOILER ALERT: I was indeed saying "Kinda" after every fact on purpose. Kinda.