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Those About to Die: Tutorial Enemies

Oh tutorial enemies, how I admire you. You appear in almost every game dating back to as far as I can remember. You�re never well respected and most people look down upon you but you deserve much more than this. There are many of you and you all deserve recognition, but these are the three that truly stick out amongst the rest.

The first tutorial enemy that is brought to mind is the initial Goomba in the original Super Mario Brothers game on level 1-1. You are all by yourself, sent ahead to take on Mario; the first of many to succumb to his jumping head-squish of death. You stand little chance of success. Surprisingly though, you are still able to vanquish noobs, outmaneuver drunks and stoners, and irritate the person attempting a speed run. Even I fall for your seemingly childlike skill after coming back to the game after a long break. For your trickery and constant pattern of timed perfection, I salute you!

Oh tutorial enemies, your numbers grow and grow every year but the war you fight is an unwinnable one. In reality, your mere presence helps us to defeat your comrades and overlords. But the fact that you always return, still wanting the blood of our characters and occasionally are able to catch us off guard, I salute you!
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About Lurfadurone of us since 3:26 PM on 07.03.2008

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