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LONG BLOG

New, Exclusive Details Leak on Resident Evil 6!

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So I was searching the internets this morning, and over at drudgereport I found a link to some exclusive, new Resident Evil 6 details. These are EXCLUSIVE and NEW details ABOUT the NEW and EXCLUSIVE game Resident Evil 6. They're so new, and exclusive, in fact, that not even the developers know them yet, because they're exclusively new. Caution, spoilers will follow.

1. "It will be set in the 1800s, in the Old West."

This excites me, because I'm tired of all these "modern" settings for zombie games. Gimmie a six-shooter and "Native American" zombies, let me wipe them suckers off the face of the continent! They're on my land, they have the audacity to try and eat me, and they just don't have enough clothes on.

2. "Two-player co-op was an exciting new feature in five, so much so in fact that we're adding up to sixteen player co-op in this one. Imagine the fun to be had riding around with a "posse" and ethnically cleansing the frontier of "zombies".

Wow! It's like....like, two Left 4 Dead games at once, except everyone is on your side! Keen!

3. "Due to the racial issue of the last game, we've decided to take the high route this game and not make race an issue."

....wait...it's about killing India....Native Americans indescriminantly, and it's not going to be racially charged? Ok, I don't know how that's gonna work.

4. "Two words: Hooker Minigames"

Alright, that's what I'm talking about! Wiggle that stick! OH NO HIT THE A BUTTON TO AVOID THE CRABS!

5. "We've already started working on the multi-player aspect, and because it's set back in olden times, instead of "clans" of players getting together, we're going to set them up as "klans" of players."

Can't you see the unlockable costumes coming together in your mind already?

6. "We believe that people are tired of the "virus" that we've put in the last few games, and that the "zombie" aspect is played out. So the main villian in this game is going to be "rights".

Just like George Bush! Gitmo unlockable level for Mercenaries mode!

7. "In an unprecedented move, we here at Capcom are working with Activision to incorporate a Rhythm game into the main story line. Basically, you're going to be part of a band, and after fighting hordes of peace hating Native American women and children, you'll break out into songs. So keep those plastic guitars and drums close, because who knows when you're going to want to break out into song!"

...really Capcom? Guitar Hero: Old West? Ooooo-kay?

8. "Working with Activision is teaching us that people will buy anything rhythm game related, and so in another unprecedented move, we'll be working with Konami to incorporate DDR style "hoe-down" moves to be used in conjection with the band aspect. Imagine the fun gamers will have dancing, playing fiddle, and shooting Indians."

???

9. "It will be Wii exclusive."

Alright GO WAGGLE POWER!
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About blehmanone of us since 8:11 PM on 08.01.2007

Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: [email protected]

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


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Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Xbox LIVE:blehmeng
Steam ID:blehmeng


 

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