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Destroy Haxan, Win SFIV Contest: Cheapest Player Nominee 3 (and weekend schedule)


If you've been following up on the posts in the past week, you're going to have a bit of familiarity with the work of this week's cheapest player nominee. You see, Genki-JAM doesn't just stick to the in-game fighting for his brand of scrubbery. He gets into your life and wreaks havoc. In this case, he did it not to affect his own win record in a positive way. He was more looking to negatively affect the scores of his competitors.

You may remember the story of last week's Sagat battles on the PS3. In short, I was trying to get back to the bar to continue making time with this very attractive woman I had met. I rushed through that night's battles and destroyed all who challenged me. I figured if I could take out everybody in two rounds, I could get through the fights more quickly and get back to the bar that much quicker. As a result, that night's contestants were caught off guard, lost a lot and, ultimately, took a hit on their win percentages. Long story short, their overall scores went down.

Now, this took me all week to piece together, but I did finally figure it out. The girl in question was a plant. She was payed to be there at that exact brewery on that exact night at that exact time. She was told to find me (I believe the exact instructions were, "Seek out the tall geek with glasses in the Pixies hoodie"), and spark my interest. Get him interested, but don't overdo it, she was told. "If you do too good of a job, he'll blow off his Street Fighting engagement. And that's just missing the point."

This was a very risky plan, with a high chance of failure. But, our Genki-JAM is a smooth, calculating mofo. He knows which risks are worth taking. The man never fails to make a profit on any gamble. It worked like a charm. I left the bar, sped home, tore up the contestants including the current leader in the rankings (a feat which I'd yet to accomplish in the entire contest), and got my ass back to the next bar. But she wasn't there.

Damn you, Genki. You couldn't have sprung the extra cash for her to finish me off? I'm sure you'll agree, Genki-JAM has earned his place as the third nominee for Cheapest Player.

Onto business. Tonight starts off at 5pm EST, with a one-hour make-up session for PS3 players. I recommend getting there early to reserve a spot, as there'll only be time enough for 3 sets of matches. Then 6-8pm, it's 360 time. Tonight's matches are with Cammy. I expect to lose a lot. Don't let me down.

As far as the rest of the weekend goes, I am not going out of town. So, make-up sessions will be of primary concern to me. The contest winds down next week. And the make-up matches could prove to tip the scales of the entire competition. I'm not giving away any details in terms of results, but I will say that there are competitors with amazingly high win percentages that aren't at the top because of lack of total wins. Should these players get the proper motivation, we could see some changes to the rankings.

Okay, so Friday and Saturday will be very heavy on the Street Fighter playing. Here's the schedules:

Friday, January 2nd (official theme character is M. Bison on the PS3):
2-4pm EST on the PS3
4-6 on the 360
6-8 on the PS3

Sturday, January 3rd (official theme character is Akuma on the 360):
2-4pm EST on the 360
4-6 on the PS3
6-8 on the 360

This coming Tuesday will be the final official day with a theme character. I will finish out the week with two hour session just for make-ups. And one day next weekend will be a final epic day of street fighting for any remaining make-ups. I'll post the schedule on Sunday. I also have 2 more nominees for cheapest player. This is the last week of the contest, but we're going out with a bang.

Finally, Happy New Year, everybody. 2009 is going to be a great one.
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About Haxanone of us since 11:13 AM on 10.23.2007

Occasional contributer to Tomopop.com.

Random gaming facts about Haxan

Legitimately beat Mike Tyson and went through Another World Circuit undefeated.

Beat the original Contra without dying. Twice.

Can land the damn plane in Top Gun and can also refuel in midair.

Can't beat Ghost & Goblins without the level select code and has never lied about it.

Thinks Friday the 13th is a great game even if the physics, controls and weapons are garbage.

Mario Paint caused him to buy a Super Nintendo and largely leave his Sega Genesis behind. He has played it more than most video games and wore down the mouse pad so that the grid only shows around the corners.

Has beaten Street Fighter II: The World Warrior and Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on the SNES on the hardest difficulty without losing a single round. Multiple times.

Is still friends with the girl who worked at a local game store and sold him Street Fighter II nearly 17 years ago.

Beat Final Fantasy 2 in a weekend when he was a kid, yet can't get through a role-playing game these days if his life depended on it.

Has never beaten Final Fantasy VII.

Prefers pads to sticks.

Likes the N64 controller.

Prefers the Duke to the S-controller.

Doesn't think that Super Mario 64 is all that great.

Got an Xbox mostly for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And thinks it's a damn good game. Really.

Swore he would never buy a Game Boy Advanced SP, but immediately broke down once the NES edition came out. (And regarding the NES Classics series, true in-store dialogue: "Dude, are you serious?! They seriously expect people to pay 20 dollars a piece for games they can just downlo...Ooh! Zelda!")

Really liked the first Halo. (Well, there goes my dtoid cred.)

Can rock out Dynamite Rave in Dance Dance Revolution like it's nobody's business.

Played the hell out of Animal Crossing: Wild World and hid that fact from nobody.

Stomped Brad Nicholson at Street Fighter IV, but had to resort to the cheapest of tactics in order to do so. ;)

Thinks you're really, really, really smart. And pretty.

Top ten favorite games (in no particular order):

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (NES)
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
Phantom 2040 (SNES)
Street Fighter II (any version)
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)
Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES)
Ico (PS2)
Sin and Punishment (N64)
Picross (DS)


I love drawing, though I realize that I'm not very good. I figured early on that drawing my own header art would help my blogs stand out. Thanks to Destructoid, and to the scanner that Carollelogram got me for my birthday last year, I feel like I've developed a unique style that's distinctly my own.

Outside of games I've got a DVD collection that is exploding out of a 5'x6' shelf (over 400 titles). So suffice it to say that I love movies. I'm a huge horror fan and I host an annual Dusk Till Dawn Horror Movie Marathon nearly every October. My top ten favorite films in order are as follows:

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cativo, 1966)
2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
3. Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai, 1954)
4. The City of Lost Children (La Cit� des enfants perdus, 1995)
5. The Apartment (1960)
6. Strings (2004)
7. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
8. The Big Lebowski (1998)
9. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Music-wise, my top 3 bands are The Pixies, The Velvet Underground and Radiohead. I listen to damn near every genre of music (except modern country. I yearn for the days of Hank Williams, Sr. and Tammy Wynette). Hit random on my mp3 player and you'll get everything from darkwave to hip hop to 80's synthpop. I karaoke pretty regularly. I can't sing, but I surround myself with people who can. Still, you've not experienced all there is in life until you've seen me proper butcher True by Spandau Ballet.

Then, as for the literary interests, my love lies with pulp detective novels of the thirties and forties. Raymond Chandler is simply the greatest ever. And Dashiell Hammett is just fantastic. Lately, I've been reading through Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles at Carollelogram's recommendation. Two books in and I have to say they're astonishing.

If you do the Twitter thing, Haxan1 is my handle should you want to follow me.

Feel free to friend me to your console of choice should you ever want to play a game of Street Fighter. Just be sure to let me know that you're from Destructoid and you'll get the royal treatment.

Blogs I writed:

Virtual Console Review- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Review- Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Front Page
Other Worlds Than These: The citizens of the land of Termina
Community spotlight: Haxan goes above and beyond for the community

Monthly Musings
Instant Replay: Street Fighter II
The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

Editorials and assorted articles
Does the Wii have RROD-type issues of its own?
Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
Niero, do you have any idea what in the lobster milkshake you have done?! (dtoid 3rd anniversary post)
10 things you might not have known about Haxan (but really only 8)
Why Destructoid is awesome: Nilcam is the greatest edition (I honestly can't give Nilcam enough props for this.)
Christmas shopping: Non-gaming, priest dad-style
Bad Dye Job: A Darius Pickman Story
"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!
Nintendon't what?! Now you tell me just what the %#@$ Nintendon't do!

Neat stuff I played a bit part in
The Destructoid children's alphabet book


Xbox LIVE:haxan1
PSN ID:Haxan
Mii code:8490 3559 2301 7665


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