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LONG BLOG

Diary of a Doritos Delivery Man

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Day 18: I now know too much. It was all before my eyes and I was far too blind to see the reality veiled behind the madness. Mike Borland knows all. Mike Borland controls all. He has all this time and we never knew. Mike Borland is the alpha and the omega and he wields a future vision fueled by nothing more than sheer EXTREME. He will climb to the top of our corpses and sit in his throne made from his chips and our blood. He will rule and WE WILL DESPAIR.

... Oh god. It found me. I don't know how, but it found me. Run for it, Internet!

I HATE YOU, MIKE BORLAND. I. HATE. YOUUUUU--


Day ??: Geezus Christ, this dino's stomach is DISGUSTING.. What has he been eating?

... Oh. ... Wait. ... Yeah.

...

AFK, being digested.


[With apologies to the real Mike Borland, who is probably a nice dude. Unless this is his diabolical plan all along. In that case, I would like to be dragged to my grave screaming "I WAS RIGHT! I. WAS. RIGGHHHT"]

[Also, Dash of Destruction is pretty okay for being pretty free.]
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About johannhatone of us since 7:30 AM on 11.21.2007

Yo. I'm this dude. I do the things that make my life revolve around. Or something or other. Mostly, I try to figure out how to fit the mission guy from Bad Dudes into anything and everything. To show how dedicated I am to this idea, I own the domain https://www.badenoughdude.com/ Someday, I may even do more with it! Aside from that, I'm also the writer of a webcomic called RIPtheSYSTEM (https://www.ripsystem.com) and spend a lot of my time thinking up too many damn ideas for my own good. If this was an earlier time, I would have been executed for such things. Instead, I can just bitch about them on the internet. Hooray!

When I'm not doing weird stuff on the internet, I'm doing weird stuff behind or in front a camera. I'm part of the duo who created the sketch comedy group "Channel Z: The Last TV Station" (https://www.thelasttvstation.com/) Some of it has to do with video games!

When I'm not doing either of the two above, I'm planning my war room for when I get rich. It'll look exactly like the room in Wargames and have the game "Defcon" constantly playing at all times. You cannot sway me from this path.
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