Remember those old Zelda cartoons? They would come on every Friday after you've stomached four episodes of the Super Mario Brother Super Show, and you'd watch a disenchanted hammy version of Link fail at getting nooky from Zelda because the buttpirate fairy kept trying to hook up with him instead. Even as a little kid, this frustrated the hell out of me. What the hell was Sprite going to do, give his cock a hug? Having just watched Episodes 1 and 2 (posted below) I can't believe how bad these were. I think my favorite scene is when Ganon steals the Triforce, walks around slowly with it, and stops to give a Stalfos a really wimpy boxing lesson. That's good TV right there. And people wonder why we prefer Anime to American cartoons, look at this shit! Anyway, the above video's director was drawn to something that popped up across the 13 ill-fated episodes... Link's slogan from the show, a defiant "Well Excuuuuuuuuse me Princess". The result? A painful montage of over 20 back-to-back outcries of it, which is guaranteed to scar you for life and make you cringe at it's mere utterance. [via Kotaku] Ready for the show? Here's the first half of Episode 1! I never realized this, but pay attention to the tragic storyline hole in the intro. "Whoever gets both Triforces will rule the land...." um, what about the third piece? It's supposed to be a triangles of triangles, not a Diforce! (sigh) I guess the Triforce of Courage needs a better agent. Watch the second half of the first episode: And now for Fantasia Zelda Cartoon Episode 2: