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You suck at this game: Accuracy boosting add-on coming for 360 controllers photo

There is a shame that many gamers like myself harbor, fearful that gaming sessions among friends will reveal our terrible secret: that of being incapable of accurately aiming with the thumbsticks without sending our reticles flying all over the screen. In spite of spending hours upon hours glued to a rig, for some reason there are people that just can't master the art of precision aim regardless of how hard they try. 

Thankfully, KontrolFreek, makers of the similarly styled gaming crutch the SpeedFreek, is releasing an add-on for Xbox 360 controllers that seeks to deliver we ham-fisted flailers from the gaping maw of horrific humiliation. KontrolFreek's latest work increases the height of Xbox 360 thumbsticks which, according to an IGN review, allows for greater accuracy within the first 20% range of motion, supposedly the most difficult to master due to spring tension.

It will still be immediately obvious that you're the gaming equivalent of a crate full of epileptic children mid-seizure, but if accuracy is your issue then at least the indignity of respawn after respawn after respawn can be a thing of the past.  FPS Freeks are currently available for a 20% pre-order discount down from its $9.99 per pair and $17.99 (for four) price and are supposedly legal in competition, though that has yet to be officially confirmed.

[Via Gizmodo -- Thanks, Adam] 








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53 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

bbrigg1's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:19
bbrigg1
I would rather admit to buying the latest Sex in the City Season on DVD.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:21
Snaileb
hahahahahah
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:23
brosef
If you play like a fat-handed one-thumbed retard, you don't deserve help.

You can't fix suck.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:24
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
If you can't slam with the best...
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:31
HarassmentPanda
Those are not only hideous, but also embarrassing. I would laugh to no end if I saw someone using those.
Lord_Satorious's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:31
Lord_Satorious
Easier aiming can be achieved through better programming. Some shooters I can't quickly aim accurately to save my life, whereas with others it's nearly as good as using a mouse (Call of Duty 4 is like the latter). I don't see this product as fixing my problem, I don't need to move my thumbstick more, I need turning accelerations and such to be more to my liking. A snap-on thumbstick on top of a preexisting thumbstick is just silly.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:32
deiga-the-semivaliant
I have more trouble with my turning speed than anything else when it comes to console FPS. This wouldn't help me get better.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:34
BigPopaGamer
I'll bite.
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:39
SourGr8pes
Could this be?? If this works as it says, I'll be finally able to advance on skate's story mode!
ajay42's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:40
ajay42
There is a simple solution to this problem. Its called a mouse.

"Some shooters I can't quickly aim accurately to save my life, whereas with others it's nearly as good as using a mouse"

Aimbots. Making up for the unwieldy nature of dual analog.
Surf314's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:41
Surf314
Do they come with one of these
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:49
PrinceofCannedPeaches
I'm pretty sure a crate full of epileptic children would never "reach mid-seizure."
tkyy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:52
tkyy
Why don't someone make a controller with a trackball replacing the right analog stick?
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:57
Maurice Tan
Actually, in the two months that followed the release of this thing, it's been shown that they work pretty well. As they should, in terms of general ergonomics. I almost forgot about this after reading about it two months ago, tnx for reminding me!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 14:58
king3vbo
Lamest product ever?
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:00
Holyetheline
Oh looks good. I don't have aiming issues though.
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:00
GuitarAtomik
Do they make this for the PS3? That's the only analog stick I have trouble with.

@Tkyy

Some 3rd party comapany WAS working on one years ago for use with PS2 and Xbox I think. I don't think they ever released it though. I can't remember what it was called but if you Google it, they did release some prototype photos of it.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:01
Sharpless
I'm pretty sure it would be cheaper to make that device by hand.
Zanch's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:03
Zanch
I might as well just tattoo the word fail on your forehead if you use them.
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:03
Colette Bennett
Campaign slogan should be "For suck assistance."
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:10
GuitarAtomik
Also, the "FAIL" tag made me lol.
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:12
JamnOnTheOne
@Reaprar
"No thanks, that's what SENSITIVITY SETTINGS are for."

Not really. Sensitivity settings exist to modify the entire range of movement, not the quick aim/movement adjustment that these are targeted for.
savagesaladin's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:13
savagesaladin
Don't need it. I'm bad. I'm the baddest mutha fucka in the world. Bitch.
MINOR THREAT's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:13
MINOR THREAT
I broke the fuck out of a couple of my fingers a few years ago. My middle finger is still wicked crooked. It fucks with my aiming a bit I'll give them a try.
Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:13
Sam Spectre
For people with broken hands?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:14
Samit Sarkar
That’s just silly.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:38
Cheeburga
I don't see this helping.
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 15:55
GuitarAtomik
@brainderailment

Yeah, that's exactly how it feels to me now. I don't remember having that problem on the PS2 DualShock (which I still use). That's the weird thing. It's like it's not sensitive enough towards the center and way too sensitive towards the edges.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 16:02
AgentMOO
would go well with one of these
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 16:15
Kryptinite
well...that's just stupid as hell
vp360's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 16:17
vp360
wat a waste of money
CaffeinePowered's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 17:00
CaffeinePowered
An utter waste of money, seriously
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 17:08
Topher Cantler
What Redzie said.
The Dutch Slayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 17:12
The Dutch Slayer
"KUCH" pc fps > ALL "KUCH"
anyway yah if your into that stuff I guess but not for me nope.
Qais Fulton's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 17:32
Qais Fulton
@Agent Moo: You're right, this would go perfectly with my tard helmet. I hope they'll release it in different colors so I can get a set to match the Destructoid sticker on my helmet.
Anus Mcphanus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 17:37
Anus Mcphanus
Surely that's what sensitivity settings are for right? and if anything they should be making this for the PS3 if they are going to bother at all
Pagster's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 18:11
Pagster
wow, robot nipples!
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 18:24
Wedge
No.
Crackpot360's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 18:49
Crackpot360
Yes, But if I place one of those on my penis,....will it be more accurate??
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 19:13
Eschatos
Or you could buy a mouse. I hear they come free with computers.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 20:22
mistic
I'm good enough ( for my own liking at least ) without these :-)

So I won't be wasting my money on them... as should nobody!
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 20:32
AgentMOO
I know the truth...

kittridge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 21:00Image Hosted by ImageShack.us</a><br/>
kittridge
How would this be unlike performance enhancing drugs? Shall we begin placing asterisks next to names on leaderboards? KontrolFreek = HGH for Gamers?

But.. I might buy a pair. Haxz for my fingorzthumz. I dun care how dumb I look I already wear that multi-colored pinwheel hat to class everyday.
Cube's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 22:13
Cube
There is a better way it's called throw out the damn game pad and get the PC versions that are better in everyway and have a mouse and keyboard.
TheGameCritic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2008 23:42
TheGameCritic
@Crackpot
Studies show that KontrolFreek's joystick extensions add an extra half inch but do not effect thickness.

But in all seriousness, this product is yet another excuse for the underperformers online to use in their arsenal. Now these gamers will blame their terrible skills on the extensions they bought that supposedly improved their accuracy.

Good game KontrolFreek, good game.
Burnt Meatloaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2008 03:20
Burnt Meatloaf
Thumbsticks on stilts? The 360's analog sticks are already too tall.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2008 05:13
Justice
That's pretty lame tbh.
lowercaseluke's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2008 05:31
lowercaseluke
I think it would be less shameful to suck at shooters than to use those monstrosities. Do not want.
Rosseh's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2008 08:17
Rosseh
I can't believe there's this whole FPS Console elitism going on. Are you serious? It's not possible. That's like being king of the turds. You should be embaressed if you think you're a "hardcore" fps player on your xbox.

Anyway those things are pretty ugly. Adding bright colours really does make them look like training wheels for a console.

Does anyone remember an interview with microsoft(can't remember the person) where they said they didn't release mice and keyboards for the xbox because of it's image but with the 360 now they have solidified their image they were going to do it. Yeh, look how that turned out.
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