Quantcast
Destructoid Japanator Tomopop Flixist
Dtoid Forums now support TapATalk and ForumRunner on your iOS/Android devices. Whoot.

You can print your own Alan Wake cut-out photo

Have you always wanted a cardboard cut-out of a fictional author to look at you while you sleep? Well, as freakishly unlikely as it is, your prayers have been answered.

Remedy has provided a high resolution copy of Alan Wake's cardboard likeness for no real reason. Not that a reason was ever needed. Simply print the image, stick it to some quality card, and then cut it out. Remember to ask a parent or guardian to help you when using scissors!

This is ridiculous.








More gaming stories around the web. Got news? Submit yours to tips@destructoid.com

Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

22 comments | showing # 1 to 22
prev next

Openwound's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 11:42
Openwound
He sees you when you're sleeping, even if you don't see him.
Avalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 11:45
Avalon
AND HERE'S ONE I MADE EARLIER
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 11:53
Super Drybones
Bout damn time.
FWyllis0825's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 11:57
FWyllis0825
IT"S A TRAP. This cutout is like a doorway to let the darkness into your home so Alan doesn't have to deal with it.
Erik Sexysar's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:08
Erik Sexysar
Good Good..soon Alan will be all mine
lv99ron's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:09
lv99ron
It's not a cutout...IT'S AN OCEAN!!!
RenegadePanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:11
RenegadePanda
I woke up and discovered a cardboard cutout I don't remember printing. It stared at me, dark and soulless, and seemed to be pulling me into a dream I couldn't wake up from. I was afraid, but the faster I ran, the closer I seemed to get.

I was stuck, there was no way out. The cutout had me in it's dark grip. I only hope Alice is alright.
Mitchell's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:13
Mitchell
This is begging to be incorporated into some sort of contest.
Sæglópur's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:19
Sæglópur
I just want Alan Wake 2. It probably won't happen since MS is lame.
NiNFAN1990's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:31
NiNFAN1990
What's so ridiculous about it? It isn't as if they are charging for it and I've known people who have spent upwards of £200 on promotional carboard cutouts of movies and movie characters (Trekkies are the worst for it).

Giving FF13 a 4 is ridiculous (and I'm not even a fan).

This is just a bit of harmless fun.
JerinsFury's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:34
JerinsFury
I am so tempted to print this out at my school (hooray for huge printers in the art department).
KingSigy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:44
KingSigy
ALAN WAKE!..I suppose that's not as funny when you don't hear me say it.
Jawmuncher's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:55
Jawmuncher
They shold sell a limited run of actual cardboard cutouts in the actual size
timtheterrible's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 12:57
timtheterrible
@ lv99ron

lulz. Good to see you back.
Mulk Calathar's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 13:21
Mulk Calathar
Look fucker, the Guardians are busy running the Green Lantern Corps from the planet OA in the center of the universe. They don't have TIME to help me with fucking scissors.
nanowerx's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 14:43
nanowerx
God damn you Remedy! When you craft a game as fine as Alan Wake, I get all school-girl giddy for shit like this.

Now I just need to know where to buy Alan Wake sized cardboard...
JynxShot's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 15:50
JynxShot
So doing this.
Denspof's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 16:49
Denspof
I just wanna put a big, Impact-font DERP on that picture
KrazyKraut's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 17:19
KrazyKraut
Staring contest in 3,2,1....
CRAZYAPE69's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 17:46
CRAZYAPE69
''i stood there enveloped dark presence, holding my book in one hand, my cock in the other. i towered over the bed, the shadow i cast obscured my view of the sleeping man, i had to find alice, but a primal lust took over my body, i was powerless to it's will, i called out ''BARRYY''. ''..... i don't even wanna continue this...
DocAlexander's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/24/2010 20:20
DocAlexander
@RenegadePanda & CRAZYAPE69

Actually lol'd at both.
Cortes121's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/01/2010 17:04
Cortes121
I AM AWAKE!
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!