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The above video is the winner of the Xbox Live Originals contest, a showcase for the finest in whatever the hell that thing up there is. Microsoft was offering entrants a chance for a $100,000 budget and a six episode run of downloadable shows on the Xbox Live Marketplace, and the above clip -- entitle Bouchedags -- beat out a field that must have consisted of video clips of women stomping kittens to death and the atrocities comitted during the Rape of Nanking.

I have to say people, I consider myself a clever, entertaining person and that clip up there made my chest hurt. Not in a metaphorical way either, it actually damaged my sternum and corroded my right aorta. It was so painfully unfunny that I've developed a heart murmur and may one day die of complications related to the aforementioned condition. If only Microsoft didn't see fit to encourage the most idiotic sector of the current MTV demographic -- the ones whose parents saw fit to buy them video cameras -- I might live to see my own children attend college, drop out, develop drug habits and die of heart-related illness courtesy of Microsoft's next community generated content contest Xbox Live's Smash Your Genitals With A Hammer And Mail Us The Results Contest.

Look for this "show" to appear on the XBL Marketplace shortly.


Continue: More Xbox Live stories





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87 comments | showing # 51 to 87

Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 16:47
Ninja Asylum
and nex... cool bandanna. all the cool kids are wearing them...including YOU!
ttaylor's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 17:35
ttaylor
Kill me now. Fuck you M$oft for picking this absolute garbage. Was this the one and only entry? I can't believe these 'bouchebags' are getting $100,000 to make more episodes. Awful.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 17:41
vexed alex
@ Ninja

Are you kidding me? A monkey with a box of crayons would been more entertaining than these douche bags. I watched the entire-fucking-thing. It was horrible. It was as if these asshats watched an episode of Tim and Erik and said, "we can do that" but failed at made it worse than that show. Now when this pile of hot steamy elephant shit hits Marketplace it's going to be ad-happy like hell.

I'll go to the marketplace and see their faces on my 65 inch TV. Yeah. That's what I got HD for.

Get off the fucking planet, dude. And, yeah. Nex is a cool kid. Hence, the fucking cool bandanna.
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 18:35
Ninja Asylum
@ vexed
well the clearly saw something in the show. i guess this is why you blog on forums and PLAY x-box instead of CREATING for them or WORKING for them.
but you are completely correct. you know exactly what you are talking about and are some sort of godsend and have an amazing eye for talent. you should rule the world. seriously. i think you are the best person ever.

and about his bandanna, it was CLEARLY a joke because bandannas are lame. everybody knows it. ask anyone. they'll tell you. it isn't 1986.

but wow. you have a 65 inch tv. you must be the coolest kid in town. you should call the papers and tell them. maybe they'll do a story on you. becuase... honestly... i am taken back by how cool you are. mmmm. goddamn.
boxhound's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 18:52
boxhound
Yeah... ummm... I have nothing. :(
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 19:10
Sharpless
All right. I tried watching it. I got as far as the fart/sneeze sketch. When the sound effects began, I cried and shut it off. It's exactly what I thought it would be.

I'd like to think that the Xbox Live community will stand together and unite against this contemptuous garbage that they're trying to pass off as creative, amusing entertainment, but I know the Xbox Live community consists of, largely, the sorts of twats who make and enjoy this kind of piss-soaked drivel. Fuck you, frat houses of America. Fuck you.
bendernator's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 19:17
bendernator
Ninja Asylum...

Sure none of us entered this contest but that doesn't mean we can't recognize that your work is crappy (and by crappy I mean misogynistic, homophobic and horrendously un-funny.)
lucashoal's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 19:58
lucashoal
damn Ninja, settle down. Most people who are complaining probably didn't know about the contest. Didja think of that? I don't have an X-Box so I had no way of knowing... not ALL of us spend EVERY HOUR playing games and browsing the internet tubes, yknow?

Also, Nex? It's Luca, not lucas. I need to go edit my name. But yeah, Tim & Eric is a pile of fail.
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 20:13
Ninja Asylum
luca,
i don't own an x-box either. the last game system i bought was super nintendo. i read an online article about it announcing it.

bender,
it isn't misogynistic or homo-phobic. i do not know where you got that from. girls play the roles of girls that are being targeted so they understood what the jokes were and weren't offended because there was nothing realistically offensive. homophobic? no idea where you got that idea from either.

sharpless,
frathouses of america? ...okay? none of us were fratboys and this is not fratboy humor. the main article on this is fratboy humor as well as every response on here. mismatching adjectives "cleverly" to insult something. you people only THINK that is funny cuz you are all telling the same joke over and over again, but to the rest of the world... not so much.

But I am out of here. i will not be posting anymore responses in here because you guys are all too self-important to realize that YOU are not the funny ones. End of the day... who has the 100K? me or you?
Kinsman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 20:49
Kinsman
you people only THINK that is funny cuz you are all telling the same joke over and over again, but to the rest of the world... not so much.

Trust me, ninja, they're not bitching about what they saw in order to play to the crowd.

But I am out of here. i will not be posting anymore responses in here because you guys are all too self-important to realize that YOU are not the funny ones. End of the day... who has the 100K? me or you?

At first, I thought you were an obvious troll. But now that it seems you're the actual creator of this show.. your posts just seem kind of disturbed. ("I'm not a misogynist, some of my best friends are girls!" "No, no, I'm not unfunny - YOU'RE UNFUNNY!")

Take the 100K. I think you'll need a few windfalls to help you get through your life.

Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 21:00
Eschatos
Well, after the shitty reviews, I won't even bother with the first minutes.
kawitchate's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 21:18
kawitchate
ok i'm back. i HAD to try and watch it after seeing the one from Overtime (that should have one) and i made it to like 3:30 or something... the part where the black guy starts talking about dreads. and i cheated - i skipped the first sketch, went right to the retarded girlfriend.

it. was. horrible.
Zanch's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 21:30
Zanch
After 56 seconds, I was so overwhelmed I had to turn my computer off and huddle, covered in a cold sweat, in a dark corner.
Phist's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 22:06
Phist
We should all get $100,000 for every minute of that pile of turds we endured.
mezzanine224's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 22:24
mezzanine224
Sign this petition:

"Bouchedags" is Terrible and Makes Us Want to Shit

http://www.petitiononline.com/jih3421w/petition.html
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 22:24
Ninja Asylum
haha. ok ok ok. i had to come back.
nex, why do you insist that we are frat boys? i've been in an ambercrombie once and it was to hit on your girlfriend.
and bandannas are still not cool.

and the real reason i came back is because i realized that the clip you uploaded, not exactly sure where you got it although i have an idea, was not the version we submitted. the version we submitted was about 8 minutes shorter. the long version, which is simply that, was just a first cut. but you can continue to base your opinions off of something that wasn't even what won.
iliketuna's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 22:45
iliketuna
how bout you post the proper version then? cuz this version sucks real bad. i cant believe anybody would submit garbage like that to any contest let alone win it.
Lifegeek's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2007 23:09
Lifegeek
That was so bad I think I am going to cancel my Xbox Live subscription.
TheHunter234's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 00:03
TheHunter234
That was awful. I don't understand why that abomination won and I feel dumber for having watched it.

However, I find it funny that one of show's creators actually decide to troll this site. I don't know if he'll read this, but seriously dude; you need to calm down and learn that when you create something and present it to the public, some people (or in this case the vast majority of people) might not like your work and won't hold back in criticizing you. Learn to deal with it like everyone else who works in entertainment.
lucashoal's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 01:06
lucashoal
"i read an online article about it announcing it."
You have far more interest in Microsoft than I do. Not EVERYONE here is an X-Box fan. I like it, but I don't wanna own one.

lol@Nex for continuing to be awesome.
pwned88's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 08:46
pwned88
Oh Destructoid, why to you constantly molest my eyes with such blasphemy? Watched the first 3:27, the "Hey, I'm a black guy!" <cue stereotypical jock laughing hysterically> on top of which, they didn't even answer the question. I just wonder why god hates me so much to do this to me. The name itself turns me off, Bouchedags? I can imagine the thought process behind that one, but I don't want to.
pwned88's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 09:05
pwned88
Just read through the comments, @ ninja <should he return to read this> You can say we don't appreciate your work or that we don't know what funny is, but when its the creator versus everyone who watched the video, who has the unbiased view on what is actually funny? I think one person in the comments liked it, making is approximately what? a 50:1 ratio? Not good odds my friend. Not good at all.
PaulMorel's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 10:54
PaulMorel
Ninja, are you Uwe Boll? Don't lie now! For some odd reason, you seem to have Boll's sense of self-importance and also his incredibly fragile ego.

Ninja: "End of the day... who has the 100K? me or you?"

You do. So why are you on forums trying to defend yourself? You just end up making yourself look stupid (see above).

Also, I'm kind of offended by your statement about us all being non-artists who don't contribute anything. I am a musician and a developer. This year I have scored a couple short films and a TV pilot that is far funnier than your little clip. Yet I made next to nothing for it, and it probably won't get picked up.

I guess the reason that the response to your video has been so vitriolic is that we all DO make videos like yours. In fact, most of us have probably made something more complicated than your 20 minutes of poop jokes. Yet, as you pointed out, you got the $100k.

I guess we're just bitter.
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 12:26
Ninja Asylum
remember how i said i wasnt gonna come back? i meant it then, but i changed my mind. people keep sending me this link. haha. so i figure, why not keep going with it?
On the topic of the bouchefinal.mov, it was the final version for the long version of the show. there is also a 15 minute, 14 minute, 10 minute, and a 5 minute version of the show for various contests. the final version is the one i sent to the NYTVF for their own contest, not the particular x-box one. When I told the Emerson College Sociology major the link to the one we submitted, i misspoke because i was confused on which of the 5 versions i sent so i told him the long one. Glad to see there is hatred on his end for losing. I am not going around insulting his work or any of the other entrants that I saw if i liked them or not.
You are saying that a lot of you do your own comedy and pilots and the such, so that is a breeding ground for jealousy and hyper judgement. I won't lie, i always get a little bitter too when I lose a contest especially for something I think I should have won over. People like to say "I don't mind losing to something better than mine but not this crap!" Fine. But we just happened to make something that the Microsoft people wanted. None of us knew what that was. The criteria said to make anything we wanted.
As far as getting used to the scrutiny, fine. I am. I'm planning on posting all the hate mail on the site somewhere. If I could, I would send everyone flowers that has written negative comments.
Yes I was defensive. Your whole article tore my show apart not sparing a single insult (unless of course you were holding back). I come back with a few minor insults and now you judge me on how I get defensive and insult people? Come on Nex, it was the mood of the forum. I wasn't introducing a new air of insults. I can't spell aboericroumbine. cool.
Backstory for the show... we did 14 episodes every week. we wrote and shot the whole show in 4-5 hours. I edited it and put it online every thursday. It was just for fun and to let out some jokes. We saw the contest. We did some reshoots and put together a show.
I spoke with other pilot makers at the festival and told them that i would like to include some of their work into MY show if it was permitted because I thought some of the stuff was funny. I also told it to the kids that gave you the link and hated OUR show. So much for trying to help out other creators. I know there are other funny people out there with other styles and I wanted to bring them together. I landed the contest and I wanted to get other people recognized as well but i google Bouchedags and I find all this name calling. That's not cool and it doesn't help anyone. It just brings people down. About my ego being fragile, sure, it hurts a bit when someone calls your baby ugly. i will up the production value of the show and spend more time on the jokes and the pacing and all that. I'm just a dude making jokes with a video camera that won the contest and want to make the best of it.
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 12:35
Ninja Asylum
if i am wrong about the emerson kid telling you the link, then i apologize for the misinformation. one person stuck out in my mind of who would have told you the link. blah blah blah
Volcanon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 13:14
Volcanon
"Ninja, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here: if the reason this thing isn't funny is because it's a rough cut, show me the final cut or email it to me at nex@destructoid.com. I'll take a look at it, and put it up on the site. If you guys actually made it funny, people will laugh, and you'll be vindicated." - Nex

I am looking forward to this. I hope the Bouchedags prove us wrong.
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 13:51
Ninja Asylum
volcanon,
if you read what i wrote above, there is a shorter version which is just shorter, making the longer one a rough cut. so the jokes are the same, just less. and in reality, the pilot is not even supposed to be online because that is the contract we signed. it was made public by someone who was not me. The link was a backlink on my site. so there will not be a version posted by me. You guys get the idea of the show. you do not like it. fine. a shorter version will not change your mind.
Twosixteen's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 13:54
Twosixteen
Having said all that, I'd bang the holy hell outta that fox in the 24 parody. She's fiiiine.
Volcanon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 15:26
Volcanon
@ Ninja Asylum:

Then I shall eagerly wait for the fully funded episodes to be released.

Oh and btw, welcome to Destructoid.com, the greatest gaming blog/internet site ever!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 18:30
Sharpless
Well, I was going to dignify Mr. Asylum's posts with a proper response, but then I read this:

"But I am out of here. i will not be posting anymore responses in here because you guys are all too self-important to realize that YOU are not the funny ones. End of the day... who has the 100K? me or you?"

Ah, yes. The "I'm richer and more popular than you so, therefore, I am better than you." Yes, that's exactly how to dispell the "frat boy" stereotype. You don't have to literally be a frat boy in order to act like a frat boy. And you and your friends physically, stylistically, and behaviorally fit the bill. So forgive the accusation.

Listen, dude - a word of advice for you and your friends: If you seriously want to get into the entertainment industry, especially the comedy world, you had better learn how to handle criticism. We hate your show. We think it sucks profound amounts of ass and shit. Get over it. Throwing a fit and saying "I'm not gonna post here anymore because you guys are jerks and you suck and you're not as cool as me" is a one-way ticket to living up to the title of your series - when spelled correctly, of course. Expect criticism, harsh and otherwise. That's the internet for ya. It's also part of the job. Get used to it. It only gets worse. (Unless, of course, you stop sucking.) So, hey, welcome to the real world, kids! :D
Ninja Asylum's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 21:22
Ninja Asylum
@ nex,
i know nex, i misunderstood where you got the link. i misread. the link wasn't supposed to be publicly viewable, but it was found. it was a back link on my site and wasn't supposed to be viewable by other people. but now that you have found it through the wired blogs, fine i guess. i was just trying to abide by the rules x-box put on me.

and if people on here do not like the show, that does stink. something bout my whole brand of humor and the fans we have collected thus far sucks with you guys. And do not think i am disregarding all of your opinions because i disagree with them. i am trying to consider the negative comments and hoping to try to appeal to more people. it would be great for me to win you guys over with the show, but if i do fail at that, then i suppose you can't win everybody, and that will be fine too. but as i am reading through, there isn't really anything other than rewrites of "this is garbage." no real constructive criticisms you know? but i suppose that is not what this site is for, and that's fine. i also do not think that the people in here WANT me to make the show better, but just want to call me unfunny.

but i STILL do not get the frat boy comments. dressing like them. acting like them. i looked through the pilot and it wasn't frat boy atire. sam always had a black button down with jeans. steve had a red sox shirt, a bills sweater, a winter jacket. i had graphic print t's and jeans. frat boys wear all tattered cargo shorts with flip flops, visors, and abercrobiutyuioie shirts.

i dunno. i guess i was just trying to defend myself in here and try to find out what exactly was the problem other than simply saying "easy! just be funny!"
Lifegeek's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/12/2007 23:20
Lifegeek
Here was part of my entry:

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/94233.html

Its not not great but at least it was not a comedy abortion like that.
Volcanon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 00:23
Volcanon
"H is for Hungry. Yum yum yummy, food in my tummy."

lol. I thought that was pretty funny...
kylermistress's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:41
kylermistress
I had to see what all of this fuss was about. And I have to tell you, it wasn't bad. I laughed at times, I rolled my eyes at times, but over all I get it. I can see why XBox chose them. The concept is one that would totally work with the XBox format - interaction. Interactive video games, interactive tv. I mean, people write in their questions and these guys make a skit... that is just what XBox was probably looking for. And as for the humor what did anyone expect? XBox is looking to please their core demographic which from the sound of it, isn't anyone on this site. I mean, honestly, I kinda liked it!
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/16/2007 17:12
Kyousuke Nanbu
Bwahahahaha, great topic.

And yea, that was complete shit.
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/16/2007 21:52
brosef
@volcanan
yeah...someone needs to revoke your membership.

Ninja, just because you don't "dress like fratboys" doesn't make the comparison to that sort of demographic pandering irrelevant. Did you think your comedy was deep or creative? What part? The H is for hungry? The name? (oooo he's clever). And don't tell us that we just don't understand your comedy by marginalizing our criticism into by categorizing them as "unconstructive". It's cheap and easy comedy. It's not well constructed or intelligent. It fails. And don't tell me I don't understand the "entertainment industry". I work in a comedy club and have done so for the last 2 and a half years. I served with comedy. I worked with comedy. Comedy is a friend of mine. You sir are no comedian.

Awful.
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