Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Xbox 360 is the best girlfriend you'll ever have

2:00 PM on 02.23.2010 // Rey Gutierrez
  @rayversus

I love my PlayStation 3 -- a lot more than I really should. My curvy, delicious, Japanese piece of hardware likes it when I set the lights low, turn the stereo up and play with her all night long. There's something particularly special about her, see -- she doesn't get around much, and her milkshake doesn't need to bring the all boys to the yard. It's just me and her, and some great first-party software.

But, underneath her, on the lower shelf, sits my Xbox 360. The "other girl." She and I go way back, but she's recently been sleeping around being a floozy with just about anyone. Anybody and everybody loves to play with her; she's up for anything at any time. The unique, soft, sexy green stare only she gave me has now become a death glare of perversity and filth. She's now become "that girl."

Busting through my door with a green and white cape was Xbox 360's Director of Product Management, Aaron Greenberg himself. He greeted me with orchids and a box of delicious chocolates. Greenberg looked sad and upset; I haven't returned his phone calls in weeks. I quickly ran for my microphone and camera: he was there to win me back, and I was listening.






 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

TheKodu avatarTheKodu
It's Alcohol day. I've had Alcohol. Here have a page to hire Anita Sarkeesian for public appearances or speeches only $10K a time http://speakerpedia.com/speakers/anita-sarkeesian?from=speakear-sidebar
EdgyDude avatarEdgyDude
Irony: over 9000!. The same UN with staff distributing child porn, Saudi Arabia heading its Human Rights Council and troops accused of rape wants to school Japan on their treatment of women in videogames. You can't can't make up this stuff.
Solar Pony Django avatarSolar Pony Django
So I got my game recorder. That's good! But I ordered the wrong one. That's bad. So just gotta send back to Amazon and order it. Could've sworn on the website it said the HD60 Elgato let you record old games too.
Gamemaniac3434 avatarGamemaniac3434
It just occured to me that given the 99% probablility of there being an update pack to XCOM 2-ala Enemy Within-waiting for a while may be a better option, so that when I do get the game I get it in its optimal form-and on sale, to bring it below 90 total
Dr Mel avatarDr Mel
My mustache froze while walking home from work. Fun!
Sir Shenanigans avatarSir Shenanigans
I've discovered Fangamer... This stuff's amazing!
Jed Whitaker avatarJed Whitaker
No comment.
Parismio avatarParismio
Omg i love the internet
Mike Martin avatarMike Martin
Iron Paladin avatarIron Paladin
Jed Whitaker avatarJed Whitaker
I can't wait to mute Niero. #NoRules #ThePurge
Joe Parlock avatarJoe Parlock
I spent all last night playing Day of Defeat: Source. If only Valve gave it even half the attention it did to TF2 or CS:S...
BaronVonSnakPak avatarBaronVonSnakPak
Nearing Platinum status.
CoilWhine avatarCoilWhine
THIS IS THE BEST EMAIL I'VE EVER GOTTEN HOLY SHIT
Parismio avatarParismio
Sheesh i played metal gear rising before and Platinum ruined the franchise.
Fuzunga avatarFuzunga
Toonami is running a poll right now at [url]www.toonami.com/poll[/url] where one of the questions is which show you'd want un-cancelled. Oh, Teen Titans is included? That's curious...
SlyTAdvantage avatarSlyTAdvantage
"The Ravagers dropped the giant insects and waited for them to evolve ... it's clear. This is their plan from the start" -EDF 4.1 scientist So dragons are evolved forms of ants, spiders and/or wasps ....... what?
Ckarasu avatarCkarasu
Every time I hear "I don't understand why people like _____ game", I get annoyed. Of course you understand, if you've listened to what those people were saying. You just don't agree, and that's A-OK. I HATE Twilight, but I understand why people like it.
RadicalYoseph avatarRadicalYoseph
Just tried playing the first Bayonetta game... it was really bad. Honestly I don't understand why Platinum games are so well regarded. None of them are really worthwhile.
StriderHoang avatarStriderHoang
The first person I block is the person who talks shit about Platinum
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -