7:38 AM on 04.20.2006 |
Niero
Beyond IGN's
worst video game quotes, there exists a game that has no great one-liners, but is equally culpable of heinous crimes against the English language. Whomever was responsible for translating this game should be tracked down and ass-paddled, because it was a launch Genesis title and so they must be brought to justice!! Where do I even begin? There are so many gems! AND THE NAMES?!! GYAAA!!! (head explodes)
Look at what is happening in the photo above. You've just dodged a bunch of weird axes and spiky things with your extremely stiff body and happened upon two men stuck in a block of cement up to their necks. These are men of a few words. Right down to business, none of this "help free me from confinement" or "this is how I got into this mess" or even "the point of this sequence is". No. You don't free them, get near them, or ever meet the other guy. You want Zee-Bee's help, and we never know what exactly that was because it then immediately cuts to the stage select map. Hardcore!!!
Last Battle's character exchanges are so random, you'd think all the characters are deaf and can't hear each other. Who said what first? It doesn't matter. They're not listening to each other anyway.
I've decided that I'm going to start responding to people like this. It's not often I get asked by random women on the street to rescue humanity, but I can't wait. In the meantime, I'll warm up with casual conversations. "Niero, pass me the coke man." ... "I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PASS THE COKE!!!"
(imagine 70's porn music in this scene)
Hehe that last one wasn't real, but it should be! Check out
Yuka Takeuchi's site, who has a hilarious take on these priceless exchanges. Know a game that's a worse offender? Post it!
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