Contests Official Rules
No Purchase Required to Enter or Win
1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.
2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.
4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.
5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.
6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).
7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.
8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.
9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.
10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.
11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.
Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.
Free Xbox 360
These are the things that robots carry
To get they hair done
Eyes made up
Difference effects to their bodies
Sometimes, too many to even know
The life of a robot
Yo, dont waste my time on the phone, girl Im goin to bed
That movie resteraunt you need cash that game is dead
I pull your wig off, you step back, you have a tantrum
I hold your rent money, contacts I hold for ransom
Cut off your phone bill, merecedes wrecked, in the mobil
Thats on the real deal, your credits off, how you feel?
Give me my meat back, now think back, you sing on four-track
Your mothers callin, for wic checks, she soundin wack
I bought your first food, high-class, you was rude
House with no heat on, with slippers on, you walkin nude
Back with your girlfriends I cancel banks stop your shoppin
You work with kneepads, you loose stiff on soul train poppin
Your head keep boppin, you face out, with purple tracin
I put you out, we can end this at the gas station
Lets do this now, not impressed, ima show you how
Chorus: kool keith (repeat 2x)
Im seein robots, passin by, everyday (Im seein robots!)
Im seein robots, lah lah lah lah lah lah
Im seein robots, passin by, everyday (Im seein robots!)
You drive in hollywood, long hair, buick regal
License in california, ids phony not illegal
Livin with roommates, you camp out, with paper plates
Broke panasonic speakers missin playin puff and mase
Clear up yo acne, girl what yo, how you act b
Call police up, tell them what? how you tried to smack me
Im movin thorough on the freeway callin you on three way
Watchin my back got your friends all on instant replay
You say you married sewed your weave in, yo wheres your ring at?
Interscope records got your demo girl, where you sing at?
Pull out your masters, your dats, all you have is cats
Pet little turtles in your bedroom, enough for headroom
Usin your restroom when, company come, thats your best room
I stay the dopest while you party hard, losin focus
Starin in mirrors combin hair, with the kids on welfare
I watch your mailbox like vietnam guerilla warfare
Thats not your real hair, rip credit cards, I dont care
Liposuction, jenny craig, is yo introduction
Volkswagen fog up, your dirty engine boo smog up
You hit the malls and, with chip phones, makin calls and
Im audi 5, yeah
and through your noble efforts you'll probably end up winning (you scoundral)!
Shark Man? *chuckling*
Judging from his appearance, that's the most appropriate
name I could come up with for him.
I hate this kid.
This uhh... THING you're talking about.
It had the body of a shark, and the arms and face of a man?
That's the chap.
Holy jumping jackfish!
Intro Two: Mr. Gerbik
*moaning, growling*
Yes, you have met the dangerous 208 year-old Uncle of Dr. Octagon.
I myself Mr. Gerbik. Half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator.
Carrying a dead walrus. Check it.
Verse One: Mr. Gerbik
With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow
Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac
My skin turn orange and green in the limousine
People think I'm mixed with shark, drinking gasoline
Underwater I breathe and let loose on my sleeve
Walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a credit card
Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard
Transvestites, and people watch space parasites
I left his head in the store, legs in the street
Body in Wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet
L.A.P.D. through gray clouds couldn't see me
I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow
People got scared and ranned away they think I'm weird
I was born this way, halfsharkalligator
Is he weird??
Chorus: Mr. Gerbik *singing*
half-shark-alligator-half-man
Half man, half shark!
half-shark-alligator-half-man
Half man, half shark!
Verse Two: Mr. Gerbik
My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm
Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms
Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra
My mechanism is more than Dionne's psychic voodoo
African beads, snakeskins, cold script through you my medical passes
You can't see, with greedy glasses
Carbon dioxide, pour right through em with gases
My description dinosaur
I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades
Seven-oh-seven, Mr. Gerbik
Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals fly from Philly
My appetites more big it's time for wildabeasts
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles
and shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
Half-shark-alligator-man
Chorus 2X
Verse Three: Mr. Gerbik
In my real world, orangutangs dance for Thanksgiving
With skeleton bones and skunk tails, is my mission
Holding backward raps to all my power packs
Babboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack
We're too bold for ocean water, monkeys sniffin ice
Contact Jupiter pools Martians bring my rice
I'm out flyin with purple capes in the twilight
Oooh ooh ooh, tonight's the night
My oxygen region's, New York to California
Half shark alligator half man!
Outro: PBS Nature
It takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through
the water plows while dragging two hundred and
fifty pounds on your back... the crocodile's teeth
are designed to seize and hold, not to cut through
skin. During all the hours the somber lay in the water,
but are unable to penetrate the deer's tough hide.
The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the
end, give up the struggle.
[robot's voice] Zero Nine El Que ready for report
[woman's voice] System, overload
[*Black Elvis*] The year 2005
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[*Black Elvis*] Are you ready on the right?
[woman's voice] System, overload
[*Black Elvis*] Ready on the left?
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[woman's voice] System, overload
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[woman's voice] System, overload
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning..
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[*Black Elvis*]
Blast full at ten, Keith still solo with no manager
Time clock out, studios, need to block out
Here's my number call me direct, get no feedback
No interviews, channel four, see me on the news
Erase your message walk streets with my cellular phone
Address you wonder, don't try to catch me home alone
Up seven o'clock, while you trying to find me on my block
I'm at the airport, you think I'm strange, boardin the plane
Turn off my pager, then quickly, relax my feet
Hotel Onion drinkin brew watchin Sesame Street
You thought you saw me with a wig on, at 7/11
Disguised like Shakespeare with blue chrome behind your ear
My George Washington robe, I still travel the globe
On Pan-Am airflights, I roll in cities after midnight
Stand in your lobby unsuspected, you get neglected
Traffic was hectic..
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning..
[*Black Elvis*]
Order room service, transfer quick to Holiday Inn
Check out time nine o'clock, coat on, I'm on again
You comin so wack you sound like the _Bulworth_ soundtrack
I'm in the mall steady shoppin while you tryin to call
It's on my answering machine, to speak to me as a dream
Pacific Bell know him, the phone is off, and I'm well known
1-800 number, castle code see to summer
Extreme complicated businessman, can't be reached
No type of headquarters, deserted land, by the waters
Target my focus on, internal thinkin by myself
You catch the treatments hiatus like Sam on the shelf
Move out your zip code with U-Haul, watch you fall
Obtain five boxes callin Mayflower, every hour
You scratch your brain askin neighbors what, now you wonder
{+growl sound+}
[woman's voice] One, two, three, four, five
[*Black Elvis*] Who could that be?
[robot's voice] Xena
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[*Black Elvis*]
While you search lookin deep in your Rolodex, I flex, I tell the truth
When I'm serious you think I'm mysterious, drop rap in minutes
Become your problem like Dennis the Menace
Hold up your meetings papi, let's ? to the papparazzi
Unseen heard of your magazine got the nerve of a two-year old crayon writing
Talkin to y'all I'm decidin
Communication leads one step to aggravation
I got my ears closed, back to bookin my own shoes
Level seven eight nine - second dimension
[woman's voice] Stand by
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[second female] Lost in space {* echoes *}
[robot's voice] Metric bypass computes on overload retrace cause we're
[woman's voice] Caution -- warning -- overload
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[woman's voice] System, overload
[woman's voice] All systems ready
[woman's voice] Enter voice authorization sample
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[woman's voice] Enter security access code
[woman's voice] Systems accessed
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[woman's voice] Access denied
[woman's voice] Activate
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}
[*Black Elvis*] .. lost in space .. {+whispering+}