Quantcast
Wii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid - Destructoid




Game database:   #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ         ALL     Xbox One     PS4     360     PS3     WiiU     Wii     PC     3DS     DS     PS Vita     PSP     iOS     Android


Super Metroid  



Wii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid


8:00 AM on 05.17.2013
Super MetroidWii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid photo



If you're a jaded hardcore gamer, and if you've ever complained that the new generation of "dumbed down" console gamers are the bane of life, prepare to feel justified. The arrival of Super Metroid on Wii U demonstrates the depths of mental degradation humanity's suffered since you were a child.

The Super Metroid Miiverse community is currently littered with people asking why Samus can't crawl through a small gap. They've all taken screenshots, they're all stuck at the same place, and they all seem fully unaware of how to play Super Metroid.

Some of them think this is a glitch. It's quite possible they all think this game was released for the first time yesterday ... just imagine that. Imagine it long and hard.

You hate it, don't you? But also, you love the sense of superiority. You are at once disgusted with the simple-minded idiocy on display, and thrilled that you're better at videogames than these people. You're furious Call of Duty literally murdered the brain cells of these goons, and yet you feel so validated by what you see as proof of everything you believe.

Today is your best and worst moment. Enjoy it. Loathe it.

"y cant metroid crawl?" [NeoGAF]

Wii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid photo







Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.





timeline following:
Super Metroid



11:00 PM on 10.31.2013
Boss Battles for the Soul emulates SNES boss themes

Retro game inspired music speaks to me (as I'm sure it does for many of you), and while I do enjoy a good remix/remake/remaster here and there, a lot of my favorite pieces are original compositions. Electronic music creator ...more




Platform games

5:30 PM on 10.24.2014
More Slugcat gifs? More Slugcat gifs

What's that? You didn't get enough Rain World gifs this week? What's that? Timmy is trapped in a well, rehabbing from that awkward back spasm in mop up? What's that? Old Man Tim is going to be lights out tonight in his s...more



2:30 PM on 10.24.2014
Beating Spelunky on a dance pad is quite the remarkable feat

Spelunky players are always finding new and interesting ways to torture themselves. Let's face it -- besting Spelunky's unforgiving randomly generated mazes is an accomplishment unto itself. Learning to do it with your feet ...more



11:30 AM on 10.24.2014
Forward to the Sky looks like a fun platforming romp

Every once in a while a game will come along that reminds me of the Dreamcast era, filled to the brim with great looking games like Skies of Arcadia. Forward to the Sky looks like one such title, an action platformer that ju...more



View all Platform games






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more