[ x ] remove ads and scale site to 1080p+
[ x ] remove the ads & get mobile premium
pay whatever you want to upgrade
 
 

Wii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid

8:00 AM on 05.17.2013  ·  Jim Sterling@JimSterling
0

Guys, why can't Metroid crawl?

If you're a jaded hardcore gamer, and if you've ever complained that the new generation of "dumbed down" console gamers are the bane of life, prepare to feel justified. The arrival of Super Metroid on Wii U demonstrates the depths of mental degradation humanity's suffered since you were a child.

The Super Metroid Miiverse community is currently littered with people asking why Samus can't crawl through a small gap. They've all taken screenshots, they're all stuck at the same place, and they all seem fully unaware of how to play Super Metroid.

Some of them think this is a glitch. It's quite possible they all think this game was released for the first time yesterday ... just imagine that. Imagine it long and hard.

You hate it, don't you? But also, you love the sense of superiority. You are at once disgusted with the simple-minded idiocy on display, and thrilled that you're better at videogames than these people. You're furious Call of Duty literally murdered the brain cells of these goons, and yet you feel so validated by what you see as proof of everything you believe.

Today is your best and worst moment. Enjoy it. Loathe it.

"y cant metroid crawl?" [NeoGAF]

\ We've blogged about this before: read (1) back stories 

 

Photo Gallery

Tip: You can swipe photos or use your arrow keys


 

Enlighten an uninformed cougar: FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
 

#eShop #FAIL #Gallery #Metroid #Miiverse #Nintendo #Offbeat #Platform games #Super Nintendo #Virtual Console #Wii U
 
 
 
[x] advertisement
 
 


Jim SterlingFormer Reviews Editor // Profile & Disclosures
Fronts12537Blogs 194Following42Followers1559

Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more
Trending on Destructoid:

 
 


Dtoid is fighting adblockalypse without native ad article bullsh* thanks to Huge Members. Please give them sex or donuts:

User Avatar
Farttypoopypants007


Since 6:28 PM on 10.17.2015

CIitCommander
CIitCommander


Since 10:59 PM on 07.01.2012

MikeGBro
MikeGBro


Since 3:01 PM on 04.30.2012

TakeSolo
TakeSolo


Since 5:14 PM on 07.05.2007

 

Please login (or) make a quick account (free)
to view and post comments.





Three day old threads are only visible to verified humans - this helps our small community management team stay on top of spam

Sorry for the extra step!