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I hate old people. I think they take up too many seats on the bus and they smell of vinegar and cat urine. When I see videos mocking the crusty, ancient, decrepit old harbingers of mortality I feel so much better about life. In the spirit of my rampant ageist agenda, I present this here short clip of what games OAPs can look forward to if Nintendo has its way and conquers every single demographic under our glorious Sun. The very reason why Nintendo doesn't charge for its online use is made apparent in this video -- it's not like you'll get many subscription renewals out of these dusty corpses-in-waiting.
 
With that offensive paragraph done and dusted, sit back and watch the type of Wii games that would be perfect for your grandpapa and the decaying husk in an iron lung that used to be your grandmother, but now is a twisted, malformed heap of dry sinew and cracked scale with a black orb, once a heart, that pumps stinking, thick black sludge through leaking, swollen veins.
 
[Joe, I give thanks]







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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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15 comments | showing # 1 to 15
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Magesx's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 16:49
Magesx
The sad part is that these games will probably come sooner or later.

Or something.



Oh yeah, and after your done, everyone watch all of Brad Neely's stuff. He's a genius, I tells ya. :<
bvicarious's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 16:53
bvicarious
Is anyone else concerned that videogames are making our vulnerable senior citizens violent?


Man, that would be awesome.
vishusdelishus's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:06
vishusdelishus
Before blacks and the forward pass...

aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahhaa
Ignignokt01's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:06
Ignignokt01
This wasn't funny. And I hate waggle
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:10
Joe Burling
I thought the Knitter Cell: Double Needle was a good spoof.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:11
Jim Sterling
I liked Drool Drool Revolution. That was worth the post.
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:25
LostCrichton
It was amusing...I liked Metal Detector Solid 4.
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:36
LostCrichton
The only thing missing was a colostomy bag attachment for extended playing times.
Agent Nixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:36
Agent Nixon
damn that's hot. Jim Sterling, I demand you send me your pants.
zardoz's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 17:50
zardoz
I also hate old people, and yet my hatred for them has still not bettered Bill Hicks' idea for the old and terminally ill - use them us stunt doubles in movies - I have yet to hear any politician or social philosopher think of a better idea.

Not only will we get the amazing satisfaction of seeing stunts in movies and knowing that for real somebody died, but Wether's Original will go bust and Bus centres will belong to the Clockwork Orange style hooligans again. I long for those days.

Tron Knotts's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 20:21
Tron Knotts
I like old people. And I would buy the Wii Old console in a heart beat.

But fear not, I'm sure I'm in the minority. Call of Doody will never replace Call of Duty. Though I do wish that it would.

Poop games > WWII games.
Crunshii's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 22:37
Crunshii
lmao, that was good lol. I fear Nintendo will make these games dough :(
Bioautographical's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/30/2007 00:14
Bioautographical
I like Werther's Original. :(
Bioautographical's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/30/2007 00:17
Bioautographical
'Before Blacks and the Forward Pass' FTW, actually as well too.
buzzer's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/30/2007 21:03
buzzer
If you like that, try "CUBE." The fun cannot be halted!
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