I hate old people. I think they take up too many seats on the bus and they smell of vinegar and cat urine. When I see videos mocking the crusty, ancient, decrepit old harbingers of mortality I feel so much better about life. In the spirit of my rampant ageist agenda, I present this here short clip of what games OAPs can look forward to if Nintendo has its way and conquers every single demographic under our glorious Sun. The very reason why Nintendo doesn't charge for its online use is made apparent in this video -- it's not like you'll get many subscription renewals out of these dusty corpses-in-waiting.
With that offensive paragraph done and dusted, sit back and watch the type of Wii games that would be perfect for your grandpapa and the decaying husk in an iron lung that used to be your grandmother, but now is a twisted, malformed heap of dry sinew and cracked scale with a black orb, once a heart, that pumps stinking, thick black sludge through leaking, swollen veins.
[Joe, I give thanks]
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare PC requirements haven't advanced much from last year
2:30 PM on 10.20.2014