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Why Penis Why?: MK vs. DC's Kitana looks ... lumpy photo

The latest render for upcoming license-'em-up Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe reveals Kitana ... and maybe reveals a little too much of Kitana, if women with huge bulbous protrusions from their crotch regions aren't your cup of tea. My love of women with ... shall we say ... "groinal gifts" is known to all and sundry, but even I'm a little intimidated by Kitana's considerable "bump mapping."

Kitana's bollock curtains seem to be a sign of a new trend. We already have to deal with a far more mannish Chun Li in Street Fighter IV, but if Kitana having a c*nt you can rest your beer on is any indication, one can only expect to see further instances of gynecockogy in the future. Who will be the next victim of penile panty lining? I shudder to think.

We can only hope it's a lump of kryptonite that she's stashed in her leotard in order to take down Superman, which might finally reveal the reason why the MK and DC characters are able to fight each other. I think a tasteful cutscene of Sub-Zero and Shao Khan forcing green rocks down their slacks (before kissing) would be an adequate way to ground this game in reality and make everybody happy, don't you?


LAUNCH GALLERY (1 IMAGES)
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69 comments | showing # 51 to 69

TWODOGSz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 23:45
TWODOGSz
You bastard... made me choke on my coffee!

Maybe she hasn't had a shave since the original MK?
Cricketman's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/05/2008 23:45
Cricketman
i'm usually paying attention to bouncy boobies rather than a girl's crotch so this means absolutely nothing to me...and in regards to the Bridgit picture: DAMN YOU BRIDGIT, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO HOTT!!! :@
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 00:11
njsykora
You know, so much has happened today to make me realise why I love the internet. Dickgirls, 4chan and Jim Sterling. My unholy trinity. Especially when 2 are contained in the same story.
Agent Orange's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 00:28
Agent Orange
I smell a new Game Debate to the Death between Kitana and Ryu. No, not smell, something... less gross.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 01:42
ace of knaves
You see it's missing comments threads like this that make me hate going on vacation.
Knives's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 02:12
Knives
They probably just recycled the crotch model from somewhere else and hoped that no one noticed.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 02:49
manasteel88
like you've never seen a tranny princess before?
Burnt Meatloaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 03:22
Burnt Meatloaf
That's where she keeps her chewing tobacco.
coffeesash's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 06:31
coffeesash
She's actually really fat isn't she? Isn't her fatality taht she eats people? Maybe her transformation powers aren't strong enough to hide her gunt.
Anus Mcphanus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 07:29
Anus Mcphanus
It's not a penis, it's a tentacle about to rape Superman in her fatality
BulletTrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 10:59
BulletTrain
Thats nothing. Watch the gymnasts in the upcoming Olympics. Those chicks always have huuuuuuuge muffs. Makes that thing seem miniature in comparison
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/06/2008 16:59
Batthink
Jim Sterling: Look at it!

Me: No! Bugger off!
loki d20's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/07/2008 15:29
loki d20
@MechaMonkey: Sad thing is that they did everything they could to keep his bulge down. The guy really is big.

As far as the image, just a bad motion render capture. I really wonder which one of the Destructoid-ites was the one to go groin shopping for such an occurrence?
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/07/2008 20:39
4knuckleshuffle

(Chrono Trigger reference)
Blackhat's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/07/2008 21:49
Blackhat
Isn't it a pronounced pubic bone? Some chicks have that.

Or am I being too serious?
Blue Ryd3r's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/07/2008 23:24
Blue Ryd3r
It's technically called the Mons Pubis.
fetusmilk's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/08/2008 10:51
fetusmilk
this has all become one huge clit-tastrophe
Sinow Wolf's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/11/2008 22:20
Sinow Wolf
Maybe she's wearing a female Box

It hurts to get kicked in the chuff.

I've seen a woman get hit in that region with a slapshot. Hilarious as it was she didnt move for a while after she faceplanted the ice in sheer pain and we all know that Mortal Kombat theres a pretty high probability of getting punched in the Chuff by Johnny caaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.................... Wait he's not in this. Maybe she just has a massive COCK.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/18/2008 12:24
4knuckleshuffle
Please ban firtina.

Also, no one got my CT reference?

:(
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