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Why does Square Enix keep doing this to me? photo

First, the Square Enix official online store opens and offers a variety of collectable items that aren't available for purchase at any other retailer. Then, there were limited edition collectable potions which I was saved from buying because I just couldn't find them anywhere. Now the potions have been revamped and come in these awesome cans, which go on sale in Japan on October 23 for 191 yen ($1.50). I'm already clawing at my face and trying to figure out who I know in Japan that can ship these over to me, when I notice that there is a second set coming out with accompanying figures on November 27th. Eight bucks for each (or 934 yen if live in the land of the rising sun).

All I want to know is, WHY DOES SQUARE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME? Instead of being rewarded for my fervent dedication, I'm bombarded with an onslaught of irresistable items that I can't live without. If the time comes where I start selling my body to keep up with my need to keep up with the latest and greatest in Square merch, I blame chocobos. 

[Via Siliconera; thanks Adam!] 

 

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Colette Bennett is a Destructoid features editor from New Orleans, Louisiana. She is also a founding member of Destructoid's sister sites Tomopop, a toy lover's blog and Japanator, our anime site. Likes Nintendo DS, NES, Silent Hill series, Rhythm games, RPGs Meet the rest of the team



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33 comments | showing # 1 to 33
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jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 10:53
jerrt
"If the time comes where I start selling my body to keep up with my need to keep up with the latest and greatest in Square merch..." yeah, your probably going to regret saying that out loud on the internet.

i'm really glad that i'm not into this stuff as much as some people are, i'm already poor enough.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 10:54
AngelsDontBurn
Oh wow, those look awesome!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 10:55
Bob Muir
The new FFVII dildo one is better:

jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 10:55
jerrt
oh and if i knew anyone in japan, i would give you the hook up. don't you know at any writers/editor from around the websphere that lives in japan?
Heliophage's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 10:58
Heliophage
Potions?

Let me know when they have Phoenix Down[i] defibrillators up on the store. [i]That is something I can see myself enjoying.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:00
Snaileb
I heard they taste like complete shit.
Heliophage's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:00
Heliophage
"...Phoenix Down defribilators up on the store. That is..."

GD BBCode...
kwaselow's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:02
kwaselow
I have a friend who goes to school in Japan. I'm not sure if he'd be able to find them, and it's hard to contact him because of the major time difference, but it might be worth a shot.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:02
Oni
They could at least fill them with beer, even though the only Japanese beer that even comes close to drinkable is Asahi . . .
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:05
Aaron Mxy Yost
Why do they keep doing this? For the same reason they keep re-releasing the early Final Fantasy games and we get spin-off after spin-off of FFVII... They love our money!
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:10
Snaileb
American monies.. yum.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:19
blehman
Talk about milking the FFVII cow for all its worth. Jeez, but they are cool looking though.

Damn, now I wants one. or all.
JayTapp's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:41
JayTapp
When you bring, or if you manage to bring a chick home, do you show her your FF collectible cans?

I pity the fools who buy that crap.
Zac Bentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 11:45
Zac Bentz
As someone who has four of the original releases of the potions, I can confirm that the taste will make you vomit and then eat the vomit because the vomit willl mask the aftertase of the potions.

But yeah, I will get all of these and NOT DRINK THEM THIS TIME.
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 12:18
Colette Bennett
This chick would lose her shit if a guy had those cans in his house. :)
Kannaya's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 12:20
Kannaya
Oh Square-Enix, you know my weakness. More FF7 stuff I can buy.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 12:26
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Good luck with that third mortgage on your house, Colette.
Zac Bentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 12:29
Zac Bentz
I just realized that one of them is Zack. This is the closest I'll probably ever come to being able to drink something out of an aluminum can with my face and/or name on it. I'LL GET TWO.
masterledz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 13:13
masterledz
If I ever purchased these, I would not drink them for obvious obsessive compulsive collecting reasons.
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 13:21
SourGr8pes
Even though I've heard the potions taste downright awful, I just have this morbid curiousity to just pop open a cold one and down it. If it's REALLY that bad, I've got some paint thinner I can wash my mouth out with,

And the Turks get designated to one lousy can...
Aertyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 13:29
Aertyr
/need
Grapefruit Juice's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 14:16
Grapefruit Juice
Androgyny gives you Wings!
RivaOni's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 15:07
RivaOni
I got this the other day...



not on par with some of the models I've seen, but it has pride of place on my desk with my mini FFIII figures
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 15:24
Knivy

The question is why do YOU keep doing this to ME? =(

I love all these things, I generally just forget about them until i go near a Rising Sun Creations where i end up entering the store and spending 70 bucks on stuff instead of going to the best buy across the street and buying a game, but YOU keep reminding me about all these cool stuff and now I'm ordering the FF III miniset and planning on buying the slime silver pendant when it gets restocked... i hope you're happy T_T
RivaOni's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 15:56
RivaOni
For the record Knives, that FFIII Miniset is really really cool, as soon as I saw it in my local Gamestation I picked it up! Paid a little bit more than it is on that site, but thats what happens when your British.
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 16:14
Knivy

Yeah, it looks really cool and i don't see it as expensive, but if the slime pendant had been on stock i would've ended spending like 100 bucks today on collectibles thx to Colette
Promagnum's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 16:23
Promagnum
Wait, doesn't that make you a whore? I think it does.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 17:01
atheistium
I want the Yuffie can :(
Colette, me and you should get an apartment together. It will be filled with this shit.
Brian Keljore's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 19:12
Brian Keljore
More FFVII crap.. Man, if they keep this up they won't have much left but to make glue out of that dead horse. Damn I hate that game.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 19:41
Fading Star
The Final Fantasy series(including FFVII) wasn't that bad, but do we really need all of this merchandise? I would like to see how FFXIII & its friends turn out.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/31/2007 20:59
Darren Nakamura
I bought my roommate a FFXII potion (had to import it, eBay) as a graduation gift. He let us all try it. First thing that came to my mind: "Wow, it feels like I just had 100 hit points restored." Second thing: "This is the most disgusting tasting drink I have ever had."
arcadias's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/01/2007 04:50
arcadias
I could care less for the cans, but the figures... Give me the Turks, naow!
Minako984's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/01/2007 17:02
Minako984
ha ha your not suppose to drink them for reals... gah
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