Not the kind of headline you'd expect on a gaming blog, I fully admit, but just look at that contraption! This device, which I am still attempting to make sense of, is an automated onanism machine known as the SOM, otherwise labeled a "dream" device developed to work with erotic game Cross Days.
The machine moves in real time to correspond with on-screen movement during "climax scenes", which is a flowery way of saying that it pretends to shag you. Connecting to your computer via a USB cable, developer Overflow (haha) promises that all you need do is "Install SOM and experience a next-gen reality!"
According to the manufacturer, there is a version for ladies, which I could never post here for fear of losing my job, as well as a handheld model. Fun for all the family.
Whatever happened to some Vaseline and a copy of Razzle magazine?
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
Likes
PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3
Meet the rest of the team
| BBcode help |
| [b]Bold text[/b] |
Bold text |
| [i]Italic text[/i] |
Italic text |
| [url]http://www.dtoid.com/[/url] |
http://www.dtoid.com |
| [url=http://www.dtoid.com/]Web link[/url] |
Web link |
| [img]http://www.example.com/robot.jpg[/img] |
 |
Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
52 comments | showing # 1 to 50
|
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
Comments policy
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!
Ok, I'll get me coat...
But where does...? How...? What is that...?
Imagine the moment straight after when you walk in on yourself... I'd probably cry.
pedobear approves.
Holy hell some people go way too far in the pursuit of... 'stimulation'...
now that is a shit job- maintenance of used units- I would hope people would sterilize it first...
LOL!! You've got to be kidding me!
This is just hilarious.
you know what, people will buy this
Anyway that had me ROFLMAO its amazing hat they think off....
Rated "C" for "Crazy".
Made in Japan not to sound weird but I guess it won't fit....most of us....
You're not the first to have thought that as well...
HAHAHA yeah I was just looking at that...
Now I just need a penis!
LOL
I like the Rez post picture, could happen!
Can we expect a review within the next month?..lol
This is 100% true, I read about this in science class.
Bad mental images.
Bad...
I thought -I- was lonely, but damn, I feel bad for the guy that needs that.