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When wanking gets this complicated, you should stop

8:02 AM on 12.08.2008 // Jim Sterling

Not the kind of headline you'd expect on a gaming blog, I fully admit, but just look at that contraption! This device, which I am still attempting to make sense of, is an automated onanism machine known as the SOM, otherwise labeled a "dream" device developed to work with erotic game Cross Days

The machine moves in real time to correspond with on-screen movement during "climax scenes", which is a flowery way of saying that it pretends to shag you. Connecting to your computer via a USB cable, developer Overflow (haha) promises that all you need do is "Install SOM and experience a next-gen reality!"

According to the manufacturer, there is a version for ladies, which I could never post here for fear of losing my job, as well as a handheld model. Fun for all the family.  

Whatever happened to some Vaseline and a copy of Razzle magazine?

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Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
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Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory

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