Quantcast
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles - Destructoid

DestructoidJapanatorTomopopFlixist



What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles


4:00 PM on 09.15.2012
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo



While looking through the long list of Wii U launch titles, a few jumped out at me as completely stupid-sounding. Judging a book by a cover is one thing, but judging a game based on solely its name is a lot more difficult.

So, in order to properly blindly eviscerate these poor, unsuspecting games with my cruel words, I decided to create my own boxart based on what they're probably about, and then use that as a basis for formal preemptive criticism.

Sports Connection

As a seasoned veteran of OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish, Gk2Gk, Goth Scene, and The Onion's online personals section, I can smell the semantic reek of desperation of a topical dating site from a mile away. And Sports Connection is without question a dating site. For sports people. I don't care if it's a Wii U game and the actual title is "ESPN Sports Connection" this Sports Connection is just another way for sweaty people to wind up humping and I, for one, will not support it.

... But if I'm wrong, and it turns out it's actually a game where you can play badminton with your friends, then I guess it's okay. I don't know, I'm going on a name here.

SiNG Party

Okay, so I think Nintendo maybe showed off part of SiNG Party during their E3 press conference, but the only reason I remember is because it was the first time I actually heard "Call Me Maybe," so I don't remember for sure. However, the name SiNG Party just sounds like some creepy business involving choir boys, and based on my rampant speculation, I have no plans on purchasing this product that I just falsified boxart for. 

Okay, fine. I phoned this one in.

Nano Assault Neo

Yeah, yeah. I know. This is a sequel to Nano Assault, which was a 3DS game about fighting germs, and it was fairly well received. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. What do you expect me to do? Actual research? Yeah, right. I was too busy making this box art for a game that's probably about a bunch of bugs starting a band in space, I guess. Where do I pre-order THAT game, huh?

Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade

As a professional game journalist, do you know what that hardest part of my job is? Well, usually it's explaining to my relatives how telling jokes about videogames is a real job, but right now it's resisting the urge to go home and put a gun in my mouth because Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade is the actual title for a fucking videogame. Numerous people worked on this game for a length of time, designing it, coding it, making sound effects and QA testing it. And someone, presumably in marketing, actually thought Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade sounded like a fun enough name for this product that they're actually trying to sell. 

There's a typo in the Photoshop, and I wrote Family Party: 50 Great Games Obstacle Parade by accident, but it doesn't matter, because an extra twenty games and making it a parade instead of an arcade doesn't change the fact that this game sounds like an Atlus JRPG based on a David Sedaris book.

Funky Barn

I have absolutely not even the faintest idea what this game is about. However, based on the name, I'm really tempted to keep it a secret from myself until it's released, and then lock myself in a storage unit with it, a Wii U, a camera, and a handle of cheap plastic-bottle tequila.

It's 2012, we've got a black President, smartphones, and a robot sending us webcam photos from Mars. How did a videogame called Funky Barn get greenlit, and what is it about? Why is this barn funky? This is what I intend to find out in the depths of my storage locker tequila nightmare hate-tunnel vision quest. 

Funky Barn, you guys. FUNKY. BARN.

What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo
What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles photo





Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.







Destructoid Originals

5:30 PM on 08.16.2014
Win a copy of Dragon's Crown from Radio Dtoid!

Radio D is Destructoid's official community-focused podcast! Join Aaron "Mxy" Yost (Forums Admin), ConorElsea.com (US Community Manager), Beccy Caine (EU Community Manger), Kyle MacGregor (Contributor), and Mr Andy Dixon as t...more



12:00 PM on 08.14.2014
Does Tomb Raider's timed exclusivity make you want an Xbox One?

Rise of the Tomb Raider launches next fall as a timed Xbox exclusive, and it will be fascinating to see how that affects Microsoft's fortunes. There are millions of folks around the world keen on experiencing Lara Croft's nex...more



4:00 PM on 08.13.2014
Sony does more for Vita than it gets credit for, but it's okay to be frustrated

A lot of people seemed disappointed when Sony closed its gamescom press conference without much mention of the PlayStation Vita. And it isn't difficult to understand why. The struggling portable seemed like an afterthought ye...more



View all Destructoid Originals






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more