Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

What's in a name? Wii U boxart inspired by game titles

4:00 PM on 09.15.2012 // Max Scoville

While looking through the long list of Wii U launch titles, a few jumped out at me as completely stupid-sounding. Judging a book by a cover is one thing, but judging a game based on solely its name is a lot more difficult.

So, in order to properly blindly eviscerate these poor, unsuspecting games with my cruel words, I decided to create my own boxart based on what they're probably about, and then use that as a basis for formal preemptive criticism.

Sports Connection

As a seasoned veteran of OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish, Gk2Gk, Goth Scene, and The Onion's online personals section, I can smell the semantic reek of desperation of a topical dating site from a mile away. And Sports Connection is without question a dating site. For sports people. I don't care if it's a Wii U game and the actual title is "ESPN Sports Connection" this Sports Connection is just another way for sweaty people to wind up humping and I, for one, will not support it.

... But if I'm wrong, and it turns out it's actually a game where you can play badminton with your friends, then I guess it's okay. I don't know, I'm going on a name here.

SiNG Party

Okay, so I think Nintendo maybe showed off part of SiNG Party during their E3 press conference, but the only reason I remember is because it was the first time I actually heard "Call Me Maybe," so I don't remember for sure. However, the name SiNG Party just sounds like some creepy business involving choir boys, and based on my rampant speculation, I have no plans on purchasing this product that I just falsified boxart for. 

Okay, fine. I phoned this one in.

Nano Assault Neo

Yeah, yeah. I know. This is a sequel to Nano Assault, which was a 3DS game about fighting germs, and it was fairly well received. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. What do you expect me to do? Actual research? Yeah, right. I was too busy making this box art for a game that's probably about a bunch of bugs starting a band in space, I guess. Where do I pre-order THAT game, huh?

Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade

As a professional game journalist, do you know what that hardest part of my job is? Well, usually it's explaining to my relatives how telling jokes about videogames is a real job, but right now it's resisting the urge to go home and put a gun in my mouth because Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade is the actual title for a fucking videogame. Numerous people worked on this game for a length of time, designing it, coding it, making sound effects and QA testing it. And someone, presumably in marketing, actually thought Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade sounded like a fun enough name for this product that they're actually trying to sell. 

There's a typo in the Photoshop, and I wrote Family Party: 50 Great Games Obstacle Parade by accident, but it doesn't matter, because an extra twenty games and making it a parade instead of an arcade doesn't change the fact that this game sounds like an Atlus JRPG based on a David Sedaris book.

Funky Barn

I have absolutely not even the faintest idea what this game is about. However, based on the name, I'm really tempted to keep it a secret from myself until it's released, and then lock myself in a storage unit with it, a Wii U, a camera, and a handle of cheap plastic-bottle tequila.

It's 2012, we've got a black President, smartphones, and a robot sending us webcam photos from Mars. How did a videogame called Funky Barn get greenlit, and what is it about? Why is this barn funky? This is what I intend to find out in the depths of my storage locker tequila nightmare hate-tunnel vision quest. 

Funky Barn, you guys. FUNKY. BARN.

Photo Gallery: (5 images)
Click to zoom - browse by swipe, or use arrow keys

Max Scoville, Video Warlock
 Follow Blog + disclosure Tips
I'm Max Scoville, and I'm in charge of making videos for Destructoid. Videos is when you have a camera, but instead of just doing one picture, it does a lot of them, and there's also noises. ... more   |   staff directory

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding * to your whitelists.

Status updates from C-bloggers

SeymourDuncan17 avatarSeymourDuncan17
Boy howdy, does Divinity: Original Sin take a while to get going. But, it was worth it in the end. Probably the most hardcore RPG I've played. Stellar writing, at that! Combat's pretty amazing too. [img][/img]
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
So it seems I've locked into the Neutral ending for SMT IV and now I need to find specific challenge quests and complete them...? How (un)fun! Google is your friend - the videogame.
Riobux avatarRiobux
Interested in playing some Pathfinder? Trying to arrange a Dtoid Pathfinder group for Saturday nights (GMT) on Skype & Roll 20. If you're new to pen-and-paper RPGs, I don't mind at all and can bring you up to speed quick. Just comment if interested.
Fuzunga avatarFuzunga
Local convention had a great selection of game soundtracks 5 for $20! I got Halo 3: ODST (2 disk!), Gears of War 2, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Darksiders 2 (2 disk!), and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. Some of the best soundtracks of the last 7 years!
Niero Desu avatarNiero Desu
Photos and videos are back on quickposts but clipping on some devices. We're going to add a new quickpost editing interface so photos and videos can only be displayed one way (a la twitter) to solve this. Also, a My cBlog link was added to your user menu
Flegma avatarFlegma
Machine-washed my Wii Fit meter yesterday by accident. Took the battery out and let it dry for the night. Luckily the meter still worked - but it had counted a fair number of steps more that day.
Agent9 avatarAgent9
Finally killed Ludwig, now if I could only get passed the 2 hunters on the second floor. that 2 some is rather annoying,and her holy blade kills in only a few hits. wish mine was that strong.
Casus Gaming avatarCasus Gaming
After reading a blog post about DMC4 I decided to watch all the cutscenes on Youtube. Tried the games years ago and couldn't get into them, but man that shit was stylish. Likeable protagonists, intense drama... still think DmC reboot wasn't that bad tho.
lewness avatarlewness
me on 1st ff14 raid (void ark): ooh so many people and lights, so many lights, lights, fuck I can't see, what is happening, i don't understand, is it tuesday already, get on the platform fuuuuck, wow void helm
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Just a reminder that you have until the 30th to get your Bloggers Wanted post, "Thankful it's over" in. I'm either going to tell you how I ruined my best online gaming experience or rip Twilight Princess a new one. Maybe both.
Nekrosys avatarNekrosys
Huh. I just found out the developers of Hatred (remember that controversy?) region-locked their game to prevent it from being accessed by Australians. Destructive Creations are more censor-happy than Nintendo, it seems. Where's the outrage?
Oh yeah, I have an account on this site.
Parismio avatarParismio
Ever wanted to get that item behind that safe in the beginning of Fallout 4?:
Shinta avatarShinta
Got Resident Evil 4 Wii for $5. Uh ... this might be my favorite version. I'm just getting headshots nonstop. Did I miss any other Wii games that are frequently overlooked? Like, really obscure Wii games that no one talks about? I'm interested.
RadicalYoseph avatarRadicalYoseph
Poeple due not aprecciate teh hrdships of bein a squid.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
Guys, check out your blogs! Just be sure to bring tissues. I wish I had. [img][/img]
The Dyslexic Laywer avatarThe Dyslexic Laywer
Anyone see the new Captain America trailer? It's pretty dope!
Shinta avatarShinta You're welcome.
GoofierBrute avatarGoofierBrute
Update: played through Hyper Dimension Neptunia Rebirth, reminded why I don't like the series, and requested a refund on it and its sequel. Not sure if they'll refund the sequel, but if they honor at least the first, I'll use that money to get Undertale.
Nekrosys avatarNekrosys
I hope the new Star Wars movie answers the biggest question I have about the franchise; do Midi-Chlorians poop?
more quickposts



Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme

Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -