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What if other Nintendo characters had Bayonetta's proportions?

7:00 PM on 06.21.2014 // Jonathan Holmes

'Leggy leggy leggy leggy'- Murray

There are a lot of different ways to look at Bayonetta, as she manages to be many different things to many different people at the same time. Depending on what angle you're looking at her from, she could appear to be a sex object, an symbol of empowerment, a parody of common depictions of women's sexuality, a re-appropriation of the "femme fatal" archetype, or any number of other things. 

No matter how you look at her, there is one thing about Bayonetta we can all agree on -- her proportions defy the laws governing conventional human anatomy. She does not look like an Earthling. A planet with a weaker gravitational pull maybe, but there is no way someone from Earth could grow legs that long. I suppose that just adds to her otherworldly charm?

It's somewhat fitting that her next game will be published by Nintendo, who's most popular characters also sport intentionally unrealistic proportions. The difference is, Mario, Link, Tom Nook and many of the rest are distinctly in the baby-body proportions camp, while Bayonetta is firmly planted in the anti-baby-body camp. Like with Samus's new high heels, throwing Bayonetta's unusual attributes on to other Nintendo favorites does wonders to call attention to their inherent silliness. That's not to say that Bayonetta's legs should be shorter or that Samus shouldn't wear platforms. We can laugh at how ridiculous something is and legitimately love it at the same time, right?

Bayonetta's Proportion Party [Pretty Pretty Pixel]

Jonathan Holmes, Bad Joke Uncle
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