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What Destructoid readers want from contests - the shocking results! photo

We were curious. You were forthcoming. The results of last week's poll to determine what kind of contests we should run on Destructoid in the not-so-distant future drew nearly a thousand responses.  The poll revealed that Dtoiders would prefer better odds of winning games, cash, or bowls of Colette's taco soup instead of a single large prize. I will definitely let our sponsors know and will try to make it happen. While we may encounter some difficulty mailing taco soup with the postal service, she might be willing to surrender the recipe on her c-blog. But never mind all that -- let's talk about the more eccentric feedback.

I'd like to personally thank all of the people that went through the trouble of specifying "other' and letting us know what they really wanted.  There are some of you that simply want some cake, noobs stabbed to death, and "Multiple bowls of Rev Ant's sister". For the sake of discussion and hilarity, all of the responses are posted below the fold for your viewing entertainment.

If you missed the poll and would like to chime in, please do so in the comments below. A new poll will begin this Friday -- thanks for all the votes!

Answers to the "other" category submitted:

One winner option but open to europe you yanky pigdogs!
Become a slave to the Destructoid Army
My choice of collectable console
Everyone's a winner! Next gen console!
Cocaine and Heroin brought from Boliva in a Dtoid blogger's ass
Scotch, bourbon, and whiskey!
Polls that don't have gay answers
Stuff Signed by Destructoid
One winner, Ron Workman's cock in his mouth.
Planet Wide contest for best in-game video of pure pwnage.
Just cover Jim in custard. That should be good enough for anyone.
The kind of contest where gamegoblin wins for once
One winner, Prize = Colette
Fuck contests
DTOID T-Shirts
Ones that aren't just for Americans
I'm a shark suck my dick
Everybody wins, evenly distributed inflated ego for all.
Creative contests e.g. Video or picture contests.
free warez for all
UK contests
Free Ninjas for all!
Whoever wins a contest gets to give their prize to 007...
XBLA Points
Wet t-shirt contests.
Ninja, unicorn, orgy
A few cash winners in a contest for just the regulars
Piggy back rides given by Jim Sterling.
Beta access codes! Let me play wih bugs...
The contest I would win.
One Million winners, penny each
Bale's sex tape
Vacations.
Contests for Europeans too
T-shirt
No noobs allowed, at least they must be registered for a month
European contests
Sterling's head on a pike
Soundtracks, games, figures
Multiple bowls of Rev Ant's sister
Cake
More contests open to Europeans... motherfuckers
All of the above?
One winner, butt secks.








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Yanier "Niero" Gonzalez is Destructoid's founder and guy-in-the-helmet.After 2,000+ stories posted and years of starting trouble on the front page he's now busy behind the scenes building the future of Destructoid. His story is our motto: "Living The Dream".

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56 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:36
Namelessted
is there penis involved? if yes, then sign me up
Chad Concelmo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:38
Chad Concelmo
"Polls that don't have gay answers."

Hilarious. :)
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:38
Clockwork
"No noobs allowed, at least they must be registered for a month"

I second that. And I was hoping DTOID would be me savior when it comes to getting a free PS3 :(
Dead Movie Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:38
Dead Movie Star
How bout a bowl of Chad's ejaculate? You can taste the rainbows.
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:42
ThunderHeartXI
Sterling's head on a pike

Not sure if I concur or not, but I lol'd
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:42
Brian Szabelski
I'm not even going to dignify Dead Movie Star's question with a proper "No."
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:45
MrSadistic
Ok. If I drive by over there really quick and put my hands out the window in the form of a cup, can I possibly get some of that taco soup?
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:45
TrailerParkJesus
Not nearly as definitive as you'd like. I mean, you wonder what the Taco soup voters would have chosen instead of taco soup.

Or maybe they don't care about contests, so in that case take note of their IP addresses and disqualify them permanently.

Just so I have a better chance next time... please?
Dead Movie Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:45
Dead Movie Star
@NihonTiger90

What are you, a fag?
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:46
Y0j1mb0
"The contest I would win"

Hey that's MINE!! :D

Also, what happened with the Tshirt design contest?? Did my oldass miss the winner announcement??
bhive01's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:46
bhive01
I agree with that light blue piece of pie above. Why blow your load in one fell swoop. Spread the cu... love around. A game to 6 people is way better than a system to one person IMO.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:48
Darren Nakamura
I'm not sure how to read "ninja, unicorn, orgy." Are those three separate requests, or one with dramatic pauses?
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:52
king3vbo
Multiple bowls of Rev Ant's sister

I agree
Aerox's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:53
Aerox
First contest - Match the responses to the community member who said them.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 18:54
Bob Muir
@ Dexter345

Can't it be both?
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:01
MATTFOO
lol aerox.. that would be funny as hell.
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:03
Mushman
Good GRIEF, this community is funny, I nearly pissed my pants reading all of the other suggestions, how I LOVE this site.

On a more serious note, what was the end result, I believe, is best for all of us there should be multiple winners,It's faiere that way, AND the losers feel better, IMO!!

Also, Niero, if you read this comment, please can you act upon the 'Noobs' one, not to be a spiolsport but I(and many others) HATE clicking on blogs, and they turn out to be, quite frankly, 'shit', the unfortunate part is, they are increasing,:(

thanks!!
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:05
DaedHead8
Interesting choices dtoid. Very interesting.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:13
bleep
Rong=Mufasa

MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:20
MechaMonkey
So is there actually a Taco Soup?
bhive01's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:31
bhive01
Roop FTMFW!

HAHAHAHA.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:51
Sharpless
What's that? I won a 360? WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Chewpathingy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:57
Chewpathingy
@ king3vbo
i second that motion.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 19:59
007
Gotta love the "others".
Alexradl's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:03
Alexradl
A thoroughly used douche bag. Preferably one that contained a water/vinegar mix. The syringe would be a nice add on, but isn't a necessity.
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:14
GohanGVO
"I'm a shark suck my dick"

Existential.

/Geico commercial
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:15
Colette Bennett
Of course there's actually a taco soup. :)
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:18
njsykora
I think its an overwhelming win for European contests.

I however second the vote for a bowl of Chad's manjuice.
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:44
smurfee mcgee
Even though I live in the states, I think the next contest should be exclusively for Europeans. It's only fair.
And if you could do multiple winners, a console each; well...win.
In all srsnss, I think the best choice won that poll. One or two games each and a couple of winners is cool. But you don't have to get rid of the console contest completely...
I need that PS3.
Chicken008's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 20:53
Chicken008
How about contests that are exclusive to anyone outside the USA.
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 21:14
RICHARD BLOCKER
1.) A Workmeng video honoring the the winner.

2.) Pool the contest money for a while, and throw a giant party for the community. (at Niero's house)

3.) A local hooker off craigslist.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 21:15
Jim Sterling
I don't know if we can do the custard, piggyback rides and pike all at the same time.



But by God, we will try.
The Unforgivable's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 21:25
The Unforgivable
I voted for the Taco soup!
Volomon's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 22:36
Volomon
OOh Taco Soup.
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 22:58
Mushman
'Cocaine and Heroin brought from Boliva in a Dtoid blogger's ass' just....like, WOW
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 23:07
Teta
Can the Bolivian be a girl, and can I go with her?
I am near.
Technophile's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 23:23
Technophile
Oh I got a bunch of suggestions...

they involve untold levels of poppycock, humbuggery, shenanigans, piffle, monkeyshines...

and Colette in a moogle suit.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/18/2008 23:51
Red TheHaze Veron
never had taco soup. oh wait... is that something sexual?
sleepingagain's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 00:13
sleepingagain
dear Collette, i love taco soup
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 00:38
Samit Sarkar
Awesome shoop, bleep. Also, I’d vote for all the choices involving Jim.
keener's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 01:30
keener
i wonder who wanted bale's sex tape? *rolls eyes*
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 01:39
KyleGamgee
Contests for consoles brought me to the site. I like the big prizes. :)

I like the many winners a game each as well.

If only we could do both
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 02:17
mistic
wow the 'others' make it pretty clear what is needed :-)

Euro-contests! or at least wordwide contests! cause the ausies and mounties wanna join in too!
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 03:07
atheistium
EUROPE + TACO SOUP :D
Pygmy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 03:50
Pygmy
I would sex you all if i could win warhammer beta invites. I like that idea
srfmrf007's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 07:41
srfmrf007
The xbla points is a very good idea actually. Maybe give away one of those psn cards... if you can find bigfoot and get them from him/her.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 08:52
Wexx
PUH-LEEZE GIVE ME TACO SOUP!
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 09:02
PappaDukes
So, where's this contest for colette's taco soup!? SOUNDZ YUMMERS!
Corncobtacular's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 09:33
Corncobtacular
the best part of this whole thing was reading the "other" responses. Now i can't wait for the next poll.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2008 09:58
Kryptinite
I'll totally come down to Miami to pick up some taco soup.
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