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wSnacks_n_Jaxson.jpg In 1984, Bally hired a team of heroin addicts to design an arcade game, or so I presume. The demented result is perhaps the strangest video game I have ever come accross: Snacks n' Jaxson, which featured a neck-stretching clown named Jaxson de Box. Just look at the screenshot before you, and pop some LSD as the checkerboard tablecloth burns into your brain. Seanbaby said best in his review: "The strange name Snacks N' Jackson was a last-minute replacement of the original title, What Hitler Sees When He Closes His Eyes." sjcp.jpg So how exactly is this twisted game played? More original arcade photos and screenshots follow: xSnacks_n_Jaxson.jpg The original upright arcade cabinet featured a trackball and a sneeze button, and the object of the game is to move Jaxson's head (just his head - his body remains perfectly still) around the room via erector neck while his breakfast flies at him through the air. So it's technically a shooter... and even that's a stretch. As if this wasn't bizarre enough, his nose detaches and you must suspend it in the air while catching the food or hot dogs will zip past his head and shatter the kitchen window - game over. I sh1t you not, this is actually the game and little chillens were exposed to this. vSnacks_n_Jaxson.jpg The funny thing is that however awful the game is, I can't call it the worst game I've ever played. It's terrible, but it's midly amusing and doesn't want to make you tear your face off, like Deadly Towers for the NES surely does. God I facking hate that game. it.gif Look at Jaxson's kitchen world. There are six holes in the wall, and no leg room around the table. Basically, he'd he'd have to crawl over the table and eat your face. The clown is rumored to be based on a real clown by the name of "Merle B. Jackson" but I was not succesful in finding any info on this personage. I can only presume he did not have his breakfast thrown at him every morning. It's hard enough to catch jelly beans that way, imagine a heaping stack of glued-together pancakes flying at your face? GULP! jaxson.jpg Where the hell can you play this game today? Good luck with that. You really can't do it *legally* anymore, the game is extremely rare - KLOV has very limted information of any owners or collectors so it's not like you can walk into a local arcade. Think Jaxson is coming to Xbox Live or the Wii Virtual Console? Hell no. This is exactly why emulation is important and essential to hardcore gamers. If we want to enjoy terrible games from the 80's for shits and giggles, and the technology is available, and there's no way in hell anybody is losing any royalties on this, it should be legal. It's out there on Rom sites and you can play it with MAME on your PC. Mad props to Nido for finding this game and blowing us all away. Want more Weird Game Wednesday? Check out the archives. See you next week!

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