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Weekend Destructainment: Smart bombs are sexual

3:59 PM on 12.08.2007 | Hamza CTZ Aziz

64 comments

Ladies, we all know the men in your lives value videogames more so than your precious body. Well, thanks to this video, you now know how to convince your boyfriend to do you and play videogames all at the same time! This may be NSFW. Thanks, Tristero!

Weekend Destructainement is brought to you by the letter eight, as there are eight videos for this weekend's Destructainment. After the jump, witness the worst videogame store ad in existance. Then we see Altair from Assassin's Creed trying to become a Ninja. Next, a totally radical promotional video for Donkey Kong Country.

ULTRA COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

Then an 8-year-old kid gets 95% on "Through the Fire and Flames". A guide to hunting and catching noobs in Halo 3 follows. The Destructainment ends with Random Robot Intermission and robots playing violins and being humanities slaves.

Worst commercial for a videogame store ever. Spotted on the Consumerist, thanks DMV.

Assassin's Creed Altair wants to be a Ninja. Destructoid makes a cameo on the white board of the Ninja and Pirate's office. Spotted on GamerScoreBlog.

Promotional video on the making of Donkey Kong Country. This is cheesy to the max. Spotted on VGB.

ULTRA COMBO!!!!

An 8(ish)-year-old gets 95% on "Through the Fire and Flames" in Guitar Hero III. Thanks Wheeliedude!

How to hunt and trap a noob in Halo 3. Spotted on vexed alex's C-Blog.

Random Robot Intermission: New robots designed to play violins, caring people and find Sarah Conner.

Weekend Destructainment: Super train

13 comments

Weekend Destructainment: Big head romance

21 comments

Weekend Destructainment: Booth babe trivia

36 comments

Weekend Destructainment: PIDGEY F**K YEAH!!!!

9 comments

More gaming stories around the web. Got news? Submit yours to tips@destructoid.com

C-Blog | Twitter | Facebook

Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy. Likes Super Mario RPG, Halo, iPhone, Videogame cover bands, Super Nintendo Meet the rest of the team

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60 comments | showing # 1 to 50

next 50 comments

WastelandTraveler

RAPID FIRE SMART BOMBBBB ROFL

ShadowXOR

I love that Donkey Kong video, there is also one for Star Fox and Diddy Kong racing. They are fucking hilarious. You have to watch those too.

ShadowXOR

I actually still have some of them on VHS, they came with your Nintendo Power occasionally.

Cheeburga

ULTRAAA COMBOOO.
God dammit ben.
Always making me feel like I suck.

ShadowXOR

Also, Killer Instinct was bad ass and Ultra Combos were my favorite way to end a match...talk about beating the shit out of someone. One of the few fighting games I like.

Chris Morris

That first video was one of the lamest things I have ever seen. *sigh*

Hamza CTZ Aziz

ShadowXOR: I've posted the Star Fox one before and I actually own the Diddy Kong VHS ^_^

brainpower4

holy lack of a life Batman did you see how worn down the buttons were on that guitar. You just beat 750000 points in guitar hero YOU ARE FAGS

Danger Shark

That kid made me wanna cry. Smug little bastard.

skyler

the audio for dragonforce doesn't sync about half way through the video. I CALL SHENANIGANS!

nagolttam

In that first video all she did was turn the TV off. He didn't lose his game!!!

SuperDave

OMG SMART BOMBBBB!!! Phew...

*wipes sweat off of forehead*

And here I am wishing my girlfriend was here right now instead of playing games. Yeah, she's right, he is an asshole.

It was pretty stupid but she really got into acting the part which kinda turned it back around for me. Ahem.

Chaosye

Ultra combos yet no combo BREAKAR?!Fo shame.
And that Guitar Hero kid needs to go outside more.

Atlas

SMART BOMB!!!

ULTRA COMBO!!!

Good lulz.

fromagex

eww, that girl in the 1st video is pretty gross. id rather play games than do her too.

Justin Villasenor

I have a Star Fox 64 promotional video but it wasn't as bad as that. Although it did have two guys in Sega and Sony sweaters torturing a Mario doll to get a NOA employee to talk.

Maurice Tan

Damn that GH3 kid, isn't that the same one that got that insane score on Psychobilly Freakout? I think I want him to fap me...

B-Radicate

Wasn't Altair "missing" the wrong finger? I didn't play the game and I could have sworn it was supposed to be his ring finger, not his middle finger.

Also, SMART BOMB!

ScottyG

I love how that first video stereotypes men and women...

- Men are neanderthals who don't take an interest in anything unless it involves video games. Mixing sex with video games gives them impressive stamina creepily enough.

- Women are self-centered attention-whores who think that dancing like a stripper is a good way to get a man who will just ignore them in favour of video games. Oh, and they constantly need the cock.

:p

DKC video ftw by the way. I need to procure a VCR so I can watch my Nintendo tapes again.

grrza

That initial freeze frame of the first vid makes that girl's booty look huuuge.

wardrox

I feel shit at gh now. Thanks for destroying my self esteem.

Syn

I've seen better acting in porn, but that was still pretty funny. However, I also think that if a guy would rather play a game than step up and destroy his girlfriend he has issues :P

vp360

haha funny

lucashoal

....I HAD that Donkey Kong video way back when Nintendo sent it out to subscribers. Holy Time Warps Batman.

van

that first video was so fucking terrible. not funny. that girl is a total pig, and the guy is obviously gay.

Boolean

IT'S NOT AN INTERMISSION IF IT'S AT THE END!

RskimB

my what horrible acting

Spykron

omg ULTRA ULTRA ultraaaa ultraaaaa. the original epic win.

NukaCola

Haha I still have the DKC video in my house..the memories..

SuperDave

It always annoyed me that the SNES version says ULTRA ultra ultraaa instead of ULTRA COMBO like the arcade did.

See below example:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DmqIHFN-9T0

Oh and now I have to dig through my closet for my DKC video. Damn you Destructoid!!

moominsean

chicks are for fags.

Hamza CTZ Aziz

Boolean: It's random too, hello!

SuperDave

Oops, here's the link. http://youtube.com/watch?v=DmqIHFN-9T0

Pepillou2

When i grow up, I'll make robots that rape people and other robots. :D

vexed alex

That first video...that girl's face. I'd stick my face to tube tube, too.

vexed alex

Also, fuck that kid. I haven't even been able to beat one song on Hard.

Mizruko

Great now my 360 controllers think the wii sticks a sexual deviant

Cyberxion

The girl in the first video looks like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.

Cyberxion

The Dude looks like Dustin Diamond. Screech. Holy shit.

Turtule Soup

I wouldrop tha game for the girl. It didn't evenlook that fun. (in refernce to the part when he is ignorring her lol not the end.)

TheExit

That kid that plays Dragonforce, should yell ULTRA COMBO at the end. That would rule.

VampireChrist

nice enough ass tho
i'd bend her over and get to it

brosef

That first video was about useless...except it made me want to hook up my SNES again for some Gradius fun. That is all.

@Cyberxion
I've met Dustin Diamond. I work in a comedy club that he came to for four days. Needless to say, he a douchebag

Samit Sarkar

@grrza: My thoughts exactly.

Hm...isn�t that the same kid who beat the crap out of �Psychobilly Freakout� on Expert?

Why, yes. Yes, it is.

Batthink

Mad GH3 skills. I can't believe how fast and long that song goes. O_O

AirborneToxicEvent

The woman is spooky, and looks sort of like Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs" when he's in transvestite mode and that creepy as hell "Goodbye Horses" song is playing.

pizzaface

HORRIBLE ACTING IS HORRIBLE.

Emrah

CococoCOMBO Breaker! And, cocks.

ZMTToxics

That little guitar hero is just annoying now. If i never have to see him again, I will probably still remember him. Fuck.

LarkOhiya

Yeah. I remember seeing the Donkey Kong VHS man! it was at my nephews house. it was even cheezy at that time.

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