Yeah, I know I'm a jerk. I don't know why I laugh so hard at this kid crying, but I do. It may have something to do with my father not loving me enough as a child. That, or I just despise other people's kids. In any case, I know I'm going to hell so I'm making the most of my time on Earth.
On this edition of Weekend Destructainment, I bring to you a total of nine videos for your pleasure. After the jump, enjoy a little random clip from the classic Resident Evil 2. Then a video of hot women dressed up as Tekken characters. After that, a funny bit from Summoner where they are playing D&D. Then a video of a Wii and 360 having a wonderful time together.
Next, the trailer from Smash Bros Brawl recreated in 16-bit fashion. Then a clip of Tetris being played on a building. After that, the first episode of Heavy.com's horrible attempt at a videogame show. Finally, the Destructainment ends with Random Robot Intermission and the Transformers rap.
The death of William Birkin from Resident Evil 2. Totally random submission to GameVideos for the win!
Sorry, this may be old, but it's TnA!
Summoner characters play D&D. The game pretty much sucked but this sketch is hilarious.
The Wii and 360 are having a wonderful time together. Gotta love the Rejected love at the end.
The Smash Bros Brawl trailer in 16-bit form.
Tetris being played on a building. Thanks Zhai!
Heavy.com has a new game show called Game Slap. You'll feel like you've been slapped after watching it.
Random Robot Intermission: The Transformers Rap. Thanks Demi!
Gameslap was nothing special. It's a tonne of clichés that preys on cheap laughs and makes a mockery of good gamers. It's a shame that something like this was done in a professional, consice and well edited way, because that aspect of it is actually quite good.
The flipside is that some people would and could say the same thing about the AVGN (which i actually like for several reasons), but then it all comes down to taste. I'm happy for it to exist, but i don't really want it to become big, or something that people quote or "relate to", because it's just so bland. I'd hate the idea of somebody "relating to" banality.
Sorry, was getting my Father's Day on. Here we go:
Video #1:Somebody needs to beat their children more. You're crying because of a video game? Come here, and I'll give you something to cry about," is what my mother would have told me. Seriously.
Video #2: I was never big on Resident Evil, so I am forced to comment based only upon my observations of this scene. Since when did gas masks become standard uniform? If their visibility hadn't been hampered by those gas masks, they would have easily made it out with the G-Virus. That'll teach you, paramilitary bastards.
Video #3: I sho does like me some boobies.
Video #4: Loved every second of it. "If you're the sorceror of light, why did you need magic missile?" *uproarious nerdy laughter*
Video #5: The opening rating screen implied this was made for a class. What average class is going to understand any of those jokes, let alone a teacher?
Video #6: There were apparently some douchebags who wouldn't turn their lights off to allow this to be perfect. We'll need them taken care of. Don't worry, I know some people who know some people...
Video #7: Thanks to GameSlap, I now know that I need to shoot the boss to beat it. Fail. The chick saying that if she was a girl she would be against incest was funny though.
Robot Intermission: My favorite part was the song during the credits. TRANSFORMERS: Are against terrorism!
Sorry I was late, CTZ, I'll be more on top of things next time.
"I really hope I'm not a part of the target audience for the game slap show."
I really hope NO ONE is the target audience of that show. I feel dumber. I mean, who actually played Earth Defense, and who gives the fuck about Lara Croft? I mean, she took her genre as far as it could go, now we're re-releasing her as God of War? Hoo-fucking-ray. At least Mario is doing different things now, crossing genre and the like. I particularly love the "excessive Lara Croft" malarky. Seriously, if you're gonna get all horny-spastic about your games, go play DOAX or Sexy Beach, for fucks sake, don't fap it to a destined-to-be-a-mediocre-rehash PS2 game.
Oh and parents, if your child isn't old enough to avoid crying at videogames or being taunted by older kids who didn't want him to around playing GoW, he's probably not old enough for gears of war, or smart enough to know when he's not wanted. This is the kind of kid who joins the football team with the "wedgies count as attention, don't they?" mindset. Please, stop your children from fucking being so goddamned subpar, America.
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VIDEO.DESTRUCTOID | JAPANATOR | TOMOPOP
1:57 PM on 06.17.2007 
