Possessing the massive thighs of Chun-Li and the curvy package of Ryu, I strutted into the GameTrailers TV studios a couple weeks ago and shot a segment in which I talked about the most anticipated games of 2009. When I reached the set I tossed off my red gi and revealed my bulging Zangief pectorals and triangular-shaped chest hair. “I am here!” I proclaimed as I sat down in front of the camera, grabbed an unsuspecting production assistant, and made sweet love to her in front of everyone.
Okay, in all honesty, none of that happened. I did shoot a fun segment for the show, but that’s where the manly theatrics ended. In fact, I have no idea how much of my stuff the show will even be able to air, since I made multiple jokes about a Mike Tyson final boss in Wii Punch-Out!! that rapes you and the size of my giant erection once Miyamoto announces the new Zelda game.
Ugh. What is wrong with me?! My mother raised me so well, I swear!
To see what clean jokes of mine they got to keep (if any!), check out GameTrailers TV tonight at 1:00 a.m. EST on Spike. I hope I make Destructoid proud!
Chad Concelmo is Destructoid's features editor. He loves hanging out with awesome people. That's why Destructoid makes him so happy, since it is full of THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE OF ALL TIME! Also, dolphins.
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Chad enjoys punching old ladies in the face, Super Metroid, Zelda: A Link to the Past on the SNES (best system ever!), Final Fantasy VI, Day of the Tentacle, Shadow of the Colossus, Mother 3, Beyond Good & Evil, Contra III, Valkyria Chronicles, Punch-Out!!, Half-Life 2, and Super Mario Galaxy 2.
Meet the rest of the team
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5:00 PM on 01.30.2009
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On that note I want to hadouken my love all over your face and hair.
And by the way, everything you do makes Destructoid proud. Don't ever worry about losing you ... proud ... ness.
Well at least GameTrailers TV.
do i get a free rtfgo shirt now :0
At least I hope...
Mike Tyson is still the Final Boss!
It was amazing.