2:45 AM on 09.10.2006 |
Niero
Long before
the Truth campaign's edgy leadership on how to market against naughty things, Ad Coucils and clueless government officials in the 80's were desperate to find new ways to keep American dollars out of Colombian jungles, and probably keep kids off of drugs too. The laughable Just Say No campaign was only preached by preppy kids that were only inhaling the dust produced by the Dewey Decimal System, so the campaign needed more legs. You couldn't just ask kids to stop snorting coke -- they needed the edge for breakdancing. They needed something totally gnarly that kids could really get all cowabunga'd about. The soccer mom equivalent of game developers decided the answer was WALLY BEAR, a video game where an emotionless Narc bear rids a neighorhood of drugs. And what's worse, he has an entourage called The NO Gang. Think about how fun and catchy that sounds. It's exactly like making a sex education video game called WANDA AND THE COCKBLOCKERS.
How effective was this game as an Anti-Drug? As a kid you would not want to be caught dead with this cartridge, you would be ridiculed. Unfortunately, the anti-drug message was a bit distorted by assinine gameplay. In Wally's world, you don't deal with the intricacies of peer pressure, shady afterschool parties at that older kid's house, or your own grandmother's weekly 8-ball habit. Instead, you're dropped into a neighborhood of violent birds, dogs, and bomb-throwing mice that want to murder you even when you're just riding your skateboard down the block. From what I can see in
The Angry Nintendo Nerd's new video review, the only lesson you can draw that is that A) everyone's is out to kill you and B) you should always stay indoors and live with your parents for as long as possible. I know a few guys like that, but I'm pretty sure they still ride the white horse. More on poor Wally, Kids Incorporated, and McDonald's Fancy Ketchup on
Seanbaby.
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