Viva Cruiser, the advergame about Erectile Dysfunction product Viagra, is no longer coming to a console near you. I know you're heartbroken, but it's for the best, really, because the convulsions of laughter resulting from trying to play a game about the inability to retain a boner is not something that the world needs, not to mention sparing the feelings of men who actually suffer from this issue.

The FDA killed plans for the game, who claimed that the game was misleading in that it failed to disclose any actual risk information about the drug or its use. Here's a taste of what you're going to be missing:

Players are instructed, “You’re about to take your partner on a romantic getaway. Pick up a few things on the way.” Players must then guide a motorcycle rider down a desert road picking up gifts for a date and avoiding orange hazard cones. The gifts include roses, scented candles, gift boxes — and of course little, blue, diamond-shaped pills.

As the game progresses, players get points for running over gifts and are penalized for hitting the orange cones. As a stopwatch counts down the available gametime, Pfizer’s “Viva Viagra” theme song can be heard in the background...

(The game isn’t likely to threaten Grand Theft Auto. In only three attempts, I doubled my points from an initially disappointing 27 to a more robust 47.)

I don't understand who these companies think they are advertising to by using the medium of video games. I know it's popular and everything, but come on -- a Viagra game? Didn't you pay any attention to the reception Yaris got?

[Via GamePolitics]