For many years, I have pondered my purpose on this small planet we call Earth. Now, by the grace of God, who loves me best of all His children, I know what I have been destined to do with my precious gift of life. I was put here as a prophet, as a spreader of the good word. I was put here to tell you about Visions, a Christian MMO that is in development right now and needs your help.

Visions is a "1st person 3D graphics MMORPG with a quest based and skill based gameplay in a persistent online world set in the 2nd century holy land." It's the ultimate Christian experience, and will innovate the world of computer games as we know it. Don't just take my word for it, even though I am basically like Jesus. Let's let the volunteer dev team tell you more:

By quest and skill based game we mean that the game mechanics are focused on interacting with the game world, and learning from a wide variety of skills for players to customize their character. Where most other online games have the play character kill a never ending hoard of enemies to gain experience and purchase levels from a trainer, Visions will have play characters learn their skills by completing quests, and then use their skills to improve their ability that skill. The skills they use the most will be the skills they are best at.

Doesn't it sound fantastic? Of course it f*cking does! Here's the rub though -- Very much like Heaven itself, you're only going to get into Visions if you pay vast sums of money. Visions needs over $58,000, pledged by fine folks such as yourselves, in order to get developed. So far, the team has raised a staggering $107. but they need your support. So please, pledge as much as you can.

I don't presume to speak for God (I prefer to think that they're God's words, just coming out of my mouth), but I will tell you this -- He will be very wroth with you and you will definitely go to Hell if you don't donate. Now for the love of Little Baby Jesus, go to this Web site and watch the video. It's a video that will change your life. Believe me.