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Virtual lovin' leads to real stabbin'

11:21 PM on 01.14.2007   |   Nex

Virtual lovin' leads to real stabbin' photo

The Something Awful forums are a lot like the French Salons of the 19th century. They are a place where the erudite and cultural elite can amass to share philosophies, questions and ideals. Of course, they are also home to some of the most idiotic things on the Internet, and as of January 12th, they became home to pictures of a fat stabbing victim and his pathetically hilarious story.

SA Goon, TaintSupportSc0tt, is by no means a small man, as you can see in the above picture, but he still did not deserve the vicious attack by his adulterous wife. It turns out that she had taken a lover behind his back, but it wasn't the mailman or his best friend, no, it was a sexy Night Elf from World of Warcraft, and that kind of betrayal was something he just couldn't take. After verbally accosting her for being such an e-slut, she went totally mental and after trying, unsuccessfully, to stab him with a fork, managed to backstab him with a knife for critical damage. As you can see from the above picture, it was kind of a massive wound, and if his copious fat hadn't absorbed the blow, he could have been killed, or, at least, very uncomfortable.

I think the entire incident is best summed up by the first SA Goon to respond to Mr. Taint, a gentleman by the name of BrianJ. He, eloquently states;

Did her skill with forks go up?

Did her skill with forks go up, indeed! The world may never know ...








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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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yaesir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:27
yaesir
"Did her skill with forks go up?"

lol
Brad Rice's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:28
Brad Rice
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
twesterm's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:34
twesterm
I hate people.
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:36
Colette Bennett
I have to admire a girl who tries to stab a man with a fork.
Magesx's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:39
Magesx
I lol'd.
xrayne446's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:43
xrayne446
a jealous rage over a virtual mate inducing physical violence and punctured skin.... oh wait, they play WoW! some how it all makes sense....
zizzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:44
zizzy
Another hilarious response:
"In all seriousness, you should have seen this coming. You should have noticed that she has raising her skill in daggers for the past few weeks. Pfft, noobs."
Gamechamp's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:45
Gamechamp
"(I love him too much... I must do ANYTHING to stay with my beloved, L0LD34TH4U!)"
Churchhills Dog's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/14/2007 23:53
Churchhills Dog
....*blink*.....*blink*......
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:08
Oni
This guy fails. Seriously.
normachariot's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:20
normachariot
i like how hes covering his nipple haha slut
Dennen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:22
Dennen
He may be a weenie, but I have to say - she sounds like a douche from what I gathered *nod*
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:35
tehuberone
At least her skill went up.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:38
tazarthayoot
What the holy hell is that black shit around the wound. Please please PLEASE let it be remnants of food, either from the fork/knife combo or just from the fat ass dropping it on himself.

I'd lol either way.
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:46
Namelessted
all this over WoW? there are some really big fucking morons in this world. Jack Thompson better get on WoW. It makes people stab eachother!!!
Southpwnd's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 00:59
Southpwnd
"Count yourself lucky in that you were wearing the +5 armor of buttery fat rolls at the time!" - wussix
lol
DurandalAI's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 01:03
DurandalAI
A fat joke! Always good with the crowd.
Hipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 02:12
Hipple
I certainly appreciate that he took time to take a picture of himself before even wiping off the blood. Apparently the wound wasn't enough to stop him from reaching for the digi cam before seeking immediate medical attention. The Buttery Fat Rolls of Righteousness (+5 Armor) do come in handy...
Jecrell's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 03:58
Jecrell
According to the thread she was sexually pleasuring herself with a double dildo while cybering with a Night Elf in World of Warcraft.

If I were him I'd bitch slap her with it.
zaqu's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 04:17
zaqu
Mxyzptlk awesome comic
Aetsen's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 06:47
Aetsen
An obese e-cuckold who will most surely die alone now.
mooselini's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 08:45
mooselini
Dont know if this has been mentioned. But that wound is from a fork stabbing. He did get stabbed with a knife by his wife like months or something before that wound. You'd think after the first time you get stabbed would be your clue to leave the bitch.
flanflan's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/15/2007 13:34
flanflan
It would of been funnier if it was a plastic spork. Then again, what would a spork be considered as to level it up? A spoon or a fork skill?
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